logo
episode-header-image
May 2025
46m 36s

Examining the "Victim Mentality"

Jordan Pickell and Alison McCleary
About this episode

What do therapists mean when they say someone has a "victim mentality"? In this episode, we unpack this flippant term and explore what’s going on underneath it. We recognize that "victim mentality" is applied to several distinct phenomena. We discuss the difference between being an actual victim of harm, using "victimhood" as a protective defense, and unprocessed grief or trauma. We also examine how "victim mentality" is often used to discredit marginalized people and survivors of violence. Finally, we explore how, as therapists, we can respond with more understanding for where the client is coming from and skill to navigate these nuanced situations.

--

Check out Leading Edge's upcoming free events, in-person events, and over 150 webinars to choose from at LeadingEdgeSeminars.org, and find the training that actually works for you." Use the code EDGE10 to get 10% off select purchases.

Join us on Patreon for bonus content at www.patreon.com/edgeofthecouch or share your thoughts and questions via DM on Instagram @edgeofthecouchpod, email at connect@edgeofthecouch.com, or voice note at speakpipe.com/edgeofthecouch.

We have partnered with Janeapp, an all-in-one practice management software. You can learn more at Jane.app/mentalhealth. Or, if you are ready to get started, mention Edge of the Couch in the note during sign up.

Alison McCleary
www.alpenglowcounselling.com
@alpenglow_counselling on Instagram

Jordan Pickell
www.jordanpickellcounselling.ca
@jordanpickellcounselling on Instagram

Edge of the Couch
www.edgeofthecouch.com
@edgeofthecouchpod on Instagram

Up next
Yesterday
Oversaturation Part 2: Fit and Rejecting Competition
For the first time on Edge of the Couch, we’re bringing you a Part 2! The response on Instagram (@edgeofthecouchpod!) to the topic of oversaturation was so engaging that we knew we had to continue the conversation. In this episode, we take it deeper: Does the field weed out bad t ... Show More
53m 21s
Oct 1
Oversaturation: Graduate Programs and the Importance of Gatekeeping
Welcome back for Season 9 of Edge of the Couch! And hello to those of you who might be just starting your grad programs and finding us for the first time. When we were in school, professors kept bringing up their concern that there was oversaturation in the field. So, we discuss ... Show More
38m 30s
Jun 2025
Imposter Syndrome Revisited
In the final episode of the season, we revisit the topic of imposter syndrome. We talked about imposter syndrome in the very first episode of the podcast way back in 2021. How has our thinking about imposter syndrome evolved since then? In this episode, we explore what it looks l ... Show More
49m 28s
Recommended Episodes
Apr 2025
703 The Difference Between Being A Victim + Having a Victim Mentality
Do you get offended if a date doesn’t immediately get back to you?  How about when you ask a friend to call you later and they don’t? When you pass a stranger on the street and they glance at you, looking annoyed, do you assume their annoyance is directed at you? Or do you cut ot ... Show More
24m 21s
Aug 2023
Embracing Fate: Nietzsche's Answer to the Victim Mentality
Send us a text"It's possible to be a legitimate victim of something... but to not be consumed by the label of victim.""The victim mindset is not just disempowering, it's also foolish, inaccurate, and irrational."In this enlightening discussion, we delve deep into the co ... Show More
30m 45s
May 2025
#455 Becoming the Curator of Your Mind
In this episode, I share a raw and reflective recording from a recent membership call where I explore what it means to truly surrender when life isn’t going the way we planned. I open up about personal struggles—from a home renovation disaster to deeper emotional reckonings—and u ... Show More
20m 3s
Aug 22
Fawning: A Hidden Response to Trauma With Dr. Ingrid Clayton
In this conversation,Trauma psychologist and author Dr. Ingrid Clayton shares her journey of healing from complex trauma and the significance of the fawn response in understanding relational dynamics. She discusses her experiences as a survivor and therapist, emphasizing the impo ... Show More
34m 54s
Dec 2024
116. James Oliver - How to Overcome Victim Mindset and Take Responsibility For Your Life
James Oliver is a Self-Leadership Coach and Men’s Work Facilitator from the UK. He works with impact-driven men from around the world, to help them overcome resistance, self-doubt and shame, so that they can live freely, joyfully and in pursuit of their highest potential and purp ... Show More
57m 9s
Aug 2024
Dealing with Other People’s Defenses
Forrest and Dr. Rick tackle the tricky topic of dealing with other people’s psychological defenses. It’s often easier to see other people’s defenses than to see our own, which can make them particularly frustrating to deal with. In this episode, Rick and Forrest explore the psych ... Show More
1h 15m
Aug 29
Fawning: Answering Your Questions With Dr. Ingrid Clayton
In this conversation, host Monique Koven has invited Dr Ingrid Clayton back to answer your questions. They explore the concept of fawning as a relational trauma response, discussing its implications on identity, relationships, and personal growth. They delve into the complexities ... Show More
50m 39s
Jun 2025
Cognitive Psychologist: Break Free from a Victim Mindset | Scott Barry Kaufman
What if the greatest obstacle to reaching your potential isn't external barriers, but a mindset in which you see yourself as a victim? Today, I’m stoked to welcome back my good friend and one of my favorite thinkers, Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman. This is Scott’s third time on the podc ... Show More
57m 16s
Aug 2024
93: Taking Things Personally
In today’s solo episode, Sabrina dives into why people take things personally and how to stop doing so. She shares a personal story about being ghosted and the person later reaching out to apologize to emphasize that a lot of the time, it’s about the other person and not you. Sab ... Show More
40m 17s