A lot of people fall in love with a person they see another person COULD be and not who they currently are. I was this way for a long time and yet I couldn’t see the pattern in my choices. Often we become so attached to a person after seeing their awesome potential and we hold on, despite bad behavior, for that person to reappear. We over-function to help th ... Show More
Sep 25
Ep 285: Can vs. Should: The little engine that needs relief
Yes, you think you can, but should you? If you are a “doer” who tends to do lots for everyone else, there is likely a part of you that is stuck in that position. It’s one that feels bound by duty and the expectations of others, yet it’s conditioned and created by us. But it almos ... Show More
48m 34s
Sep 11
Ep 284: The Safe Container: Moving from Healed + Higher
The hardest thing to do is be guided by the highest self versus the weakest, triggered self. The weakest self wants a fix: wants to self-soothe in the face of a low feeling. When we can create a strong routine and a safe container, we can be guided by our highest, wisest self and ... Show More
45m 10s
Aug 2024
What “I’m Not Ready For a Relationship” Really Means
<p>So many of us who grew up with trauma live as “divided selves” – longing for real love, but playing along to keep people around who DON’T want that – not with us, anyway – but who are happy to soak all our attention and time Iand of course, sex). Your ability to believe you ca ... Show More
24m 53s
Jul 2025
stop romanticizing the people who hurt you ep.77
Sometimes we end up in relationships or friendships with people who hurt us, but whether it’s because of our trauma or rose-colored glasses, we romanticize them instead of seeing them for who they really are. Today we talk about why this happens, what to do, and how to get out of ... Show More
30m 45s
Aug 2017
Why You Keep Falling in Love With The Wrong Person | E113
Do you attract the wrong people? Do you keep having toxic relationships? If so, you're not alone.
You'd be surprised at how many people come to us for life coaching, breakup recovery, individual therapy, or dating coaching hoping to achieve one goal: Having a healthy relationshi ... Show More
36m 23s
Feb 2024
166. Fantasy bonding - is it love or delusion?
<p>Sometimes we become more attached to the idea of someone and their potential, than the reality of who they actually are. We begin to project our wants and desires on to them and ignore the red flags, the disappointments, the truth. This is what we call fantasy bonding and it p ... Show More
36m 5s
Sep 2024
They're Not Into You, So You Love Them MORE (4-Video Compilation)
<p>People neglected as children sometimes spend their WHOLE life longing for love – chasing it, fighting for it, and never having it, all because of an attraction to unavailable people. This includes people who are married and can’t really be with you (but string you along), or p ... Show More
1h 15m
Oct 2022
Keep Confusing Red Flags With Excitement?! WATCH THIS... | Matt Monday
<p>Do you feel like your brain is wired wrong because despite your better judgment, you’re only attracted to the bad boys or the players?</p> <p>You know . . . you love the idea of a great, stable guy who treats you right, but somehow you’ve become so accustomed to the highs and ... Show More
16m 6s
Apr 2023
Why You're ADDICTED to Emotionally Unavailable People (and How to Break the Habit) | Matt Monday
<p>When it comes to the traits we want in a partner, “emotionally unavailable” is never on the list. So why do so many of us end up dating not just one emotionally unavailable person, but a series of them? When someone feels slightly out of reach, our instinct is often to chase t ... Show More
13m 48s