logo
episode-header-image
Jan 2025
44m 16s

Episode 93: The Role of the Good Girl - ...

Julia Trehane
About this episode

In this powerful episode, I explore the deep connection between people-pleasing, the "good girl" mindset, and eating disorder recovery. If you’ve ever felt like your worth is tied to how much you give, how little you need, or how small you can make yourself, this episode is for you.

Topics I cover include:

  • How people-pleasing develops – Discover how childhood experiences like parentification and societal expectations create the good girl mindset.
  • The role of guilt in eating disorders – Understand how guilt can fuel restrictive behaviours and prevent you from meeting your own needs.
  • The link to anorexia recovery – Learn how patterns of self-sacrifice and guilt manifest in disordered eating and keep you stuck in cycles of restriction.
  • Steps to break free – Practical tips to set boundaries, say no, and begin prioritising your own needs without guilt.

This episode is a compassionate guide to unravelling the good girl mindset and reconnecting with your authentic self. You’ll gain insights into how these behaviours impact your body, mind, and relationships and find encouragement to take those first steps toward healing and self-acceptance.

Key Takeaways

  • The connection between guilt and restrictive eating – How trying to stay "good" perpetuates disordered behaviours.
  • Small steps to reclaim your needs – Simple strategies to practise saying no and honour your body’s signals.
  • Freedom from people-pleasing in anorexia recovery – Why self-worth isn’t tied to sacrifice and how to embrace a new, joyful way of living.

At the end of the episode, I share a special visualisation exercise to help you imagine your life free from guilt, people-pleasing, and the good girl mindset.

You don’t have to sacrifice yourself to be worthy. Freedom from guilt, restriction, and self-sacrifice is possible, and it starts with choosing yourself.

🎧 Listen now to take the next step in your eating disorder recovery journey. Find it on your favourite podcast platform or search Fly To Freedom.

📌 Let’s connect!
If this episode resonates with you, message me or leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts and support you on your recovery journey.

Up next
Nov 18
Episode 138 – Edema in Eating Disorder Recovery: Why Swelling Is a Sign of Healing
<p>Hello lovely, and welcome back to <em>Fly to Freedom</em>.</p><p>In this episode, I’m opening up about one of the hardest, most confusing, and least-talked-about parts of eating disorder recovery: <strong>oedema (fluid retention).</strong></p><p>For 18 months, I experienced pa ... Show More
19m 2s
Nov 11
Episode 137: November Q&A. Your questions - answered!
Q&A from The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle: Exercise Compulsion, Setbacks, Safe Foods and Coping with Diet CultureThis episode of Fly To Freedom is something very special — a real glimpse into the kinds of questions asked inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, my private m ... Show More
41m 14s
Nov 4
Episode 136: How to Answer Back When the Brain Says “Don’t Gain Weight”
In this episode of Fly To Freedom, I unpack the fear of weight gain through a compassionate, practical lens. We explore how survival wiring, nervous-system activation and confirmation bias make fear feel indisputable—especially during anorexia recovery and eating disorder recover ... Show More
31m 23s
Recommended Episodes
Jan 2025
Asking for Permission to Eat and Other Reassurance-Seeking Behaviours
<p>Hey my loves! Happy New Year and welcome to series 3 of the Recover to Flourish podcast.<br/><br/>In this episode, we’re exploring the common behaviour of seeking permission to eat and other reassurance-seeking habits that often show up in eating disorder recovery. As an eatin ... Show More
18m 9s
Aug 2024
Getting ‘Un-Stuck’ in Your Eating Disorder Recovery
<p>In this episode, we’re tackling a common and frustrating issue: feeling stuck in your eating disorder treatment. Whether you’ve been in treatment for years, have cycled through various treatment programs, or struggle with persistent negative thoughts, this episode is for you.  ... Show More
16m 49s
Mar 2025
Extreme Hunger Tips in Eating Disorder Recovery
<p>In this episode of the Recover to Flourish podcast, I’m diving into a topic that often comes up in eating disorder recovery: extreme hunger. If you’ve been through the recovery process, you know that your body can sometimes feel like it’s asking for more food than you’re used ... Show More
14m 3s
Jan 2025
Diet culture is EVERYWHERE! How you can learn to cope
<p>In this episode of the Recover to Flourish podcast, we’re diving into the reality that diet culture is all around us – from social media to conversations with friends, it&apos;s hard to escape. <br/><br/>As an eating disorder coach, I know how overwhelming and triggering this ... Show More
13m 57s
Mar 2025
Feeling Hungrier After Eating: Why It Happens in Eating Disorder Recovery
<p>In this episode, we’re talking about something that can feel confusing and frustrating in recovery – feeling hungrier after you’ve just eaten. <br/><br/>If you&apos;ve ever experienced this, you’re not alone. I know from personal experience that hunger can sometimes feel unpre ... Show More
17m 35s
Dec 2024
5 Tips to Manage Christmas Body Image Distress in Eating Disorder Recovery (BONUS!)
<p>In this bonus episode of the Recover to Flourish podcast, I’m sharing 5 practical tips to help you manage body image distress during Christmas. Whether it’s navigating festive meals, family gatherings, or simply being around more body-focused conversations, I’ve got some strat ... Show More
8m 1s
Jul 2024
Essential Mindset Shifts for Eating Disorder Recovery
<p>In this episode I dive into the crucial mindset shifts that are essential for eating disorder recovery. Reflecting on my own experiences as an eating disorder recovery coach and survivor of an eating disorder, I explore how changing the way we think about ourselves, our bodies ... Show More
15m 28s
Nov 2024
7 Steps to Start Anorexia Recovery
<p>In this episode of the Recover to Flourish podcast, I’m walking you through 7 important steps to help you take the first strides in anorexia recovery.<br/><br/>Whether you’re just starting out or feeling stuck, these steps can guide you towards healing in a compassionate, real ... Show More
15m 10s
Aug 2024
Let's Get Real About Extreme Exhaustion in Eating Disorder Recovery
<p>In this episode, I’m diving into a topic that so many of us face in recovery—feeling absolutely exhausted, constantly tired, and even hungrier than we ever expected. Why does it happen? Is it normal? And more importantly, what can we do about it? <br/><br/>I’ll be sharing my p ... Show More
16m 44s
Mar 2025
Why recovery from anorexia, bulimia & binge eating is the same process
In this episode of The Body Love Binge, we dive deep into the fundamental truth that recovery from anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating follows the same core process. While the behaviors of these disorders may differ, the root cause and the path to healing remain the same—unrestri ... Show More
28m 44s