logo
episode-header-image
Sep 2024
41m 42s

#219: Should Your Partner Be Your Best F...

Mary Jelkovsky
About this episode

It’s common for wedding vows to mention how one’s partner is their “best friend.” But what does that say about our best friends who we’re not married to? And does this put too much pressure on one person to be everything for you?

Back in 2020, journalist Rhaina Cohen wrote an article for the Atlantic titled “What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?” Not only did this piece go viral, it also paved the way Rhaina Cohen’s book, the Other Significant Others about reimagining the role of friendships in our lives.

Today Rhaina joins us to discuss…

  • how/ why prioritizing platonic friendships actually makes your romantic relationship better
  • the historical role that friends and marriages used to play and how that’s changed over time
  • tips for taking your friendships from surface-level to depth

Relationships come in many different forms. Some are platonic, some are romantic, some blur the lines of both. As we grapple with what’s been declared as a loneliness epidemic, we must revere all types of relationships and give them the attention they deserve.

Follow Rhaina on Instagram: @rhainacohen
Get Rhaina’s book, The Other Significant Others:

Rhaina Cohen is a long-form journalist, author of the bestselling book The Other Significant Others, and producer and editor for NPR’s Embedded. Outside of NPR, she’s written for various publications, including The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, and The New Republic. Rhaina Cohen has a B.A. in American Studies from Northwestern University and an MPhil in Comparative Social Policy from Oxford, where she was a Marshall Scholar and did research in Denmark and Iceland on paternity leave policies. She has given talks at NASA and at universities in the U.S., U.K., and Ireland and lucky for you, on the Mary’s Cup of Tea Podcast!

If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @rhainacohen

JOIN THE PORTUGAL SELF-LOVE RETREAT: https://maryscupoftea.com/portugal-retreat

Mentioned In This Episode...
The Moth conversation cards:
Atlantic article “What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?”

Up next
Yesterday
Ep. 262: Why Loving Yourself Means Telling the TRUTH
You can’t truly love yourself if you’re lying to yourself.And you certainly can’t find peace in a version of you that’s not real.Because when you try to love a version of yourself that isn’t true, it feels empty. It’s like people-pleasing: if you sacrifice authenticity for approv ... Show More
23m 21s
Jul 31
#261: 5 Signs You Struggle with Self-Confidence (Encore)
A lack of self-confidence doesn’t always scream at you—sometimes it whispers in the background of your day. Today, Mary shares 5 not-so-obvious signs that your self-confidence might be quietly taking a hit… signs she’s personally working through, too.These confidence red flags ar ... Show More
26m 55s
Jul 24
#260: How Mindfulness Builds Confidence with Harvard Psychologist Dr. Ellen Langer
Ever wonder how some people move through life with ease, even when everything feels uncertain? According to Harvard psychologist Dr. Ellen Langer, it’s not about control—it’s about mindfulness. Mindfulness can be a vehicle to confidence, happiness and inner peace.Dr. Ellen shares ... Show More
28m 41s
Recommended Episodes
Apr 2025
MASTER CONFIDENCE - How to Build Real Confidence, Self-Worth & Self-Esteem | Mafe's Sessions #9
Confidence isn’t something you’re born with — it’s something you build. In this episode we break down the truth about confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem. If you’ve ever felt like you weren’t enough, doubted your value, or struggled with insecurity, this conversation is exact ... Show More
14m 30s
Mar 2024
The Ripple Effect Of Confidence AudioChapter from The Confidence Formula AudioBook by Patrick King
The Confidence Formula: May Cause: Lower Self-Doubt, Higher Self-Esteem, and Comfort In Your Own Skin (Be Confident and Fearless Book 8) By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ConfidenceFormulaKing https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0994VF5XH 00:16:21 Low Confidence Characteristic ... Show More
58m 13s
Apr 2025
How to Boost Your Confidence & Beat Insecurity
Insecurity doesn’t have to dictate your life. In this episode, we dive into five practical ways to boost your confidence and beat insecurities. From shutting down negative thoughts to following through on goals you’ve been putting off, we’ll cover:Knowing Your Values – and why it ... Show More
27m 34s
Feb 2025
Self-Talk Secrets For High Confidence
What if the way you talk to yourself is the biggest factor in your confidence? In this episode, Dr. Aziz reveals powerful self-talk strategies to transform how you feel about yourself and how you show up in the world. Learn how to shift from toxic, self-critical thoughts to an em ... Show More
24m 53s
Jun 2024
How to Gain Confidence, Boost Self-Esteem & Love Yourself More
EP92: In this episode of Boujee Best Friend, we're diving into building confidence and self-love. I’ll share a summer update, including my egg freezing journey and more details from the launch of my jewelry line with Wove. We’ll discuss confidence killers like too much screen tim ... Show More
26m 43s
Apr 2024
The True Foundation of Unshakeable Confidence
In this empowering episode, Dr. Aziz takes you on a transformative journey to the heart of true confidence. It's not the fleeting, conditional type that ebbs and flows with life's unpredictable tides but a profound, unshakeable confidence that stands firm regardless of external c ... Show More
21m 52s
Mar 2025
#644: The Lies That Steal Your Confidence
If you’ve ever thought, I’ll feel confident once I have more experience or Other people are just naturally confident, and I’m not—you’re not alone. But here’s the truth: confidence isn’t about being fearless, perfect, or having it all together. It’s about recognizing and rewritin ... Show More
32m 14s
Aug 1
5 Game-Changing Rituals to Reclaim Your Confidence, Even When You Feel Unlovable | WOI Experts (Fan Fav)
This is a fan fav episode. You can be in a room full of people and feel completely alone. You can also have hundreds of relationships in your life and more friendships than you can count and feel unlovable and unworthy of love. History of abuse, emotional trauma and attachment is ... Show More
1h 45m
Jul 2024
How To Stop Hating Yourself
In this episode, Dr. Aziz dives into the heavy but crucial topic of self-esteem and how to stop the cycle of self-hatred that many people with social anxiety and niceness struggle with. Discover why self-criticism can be so destructive and learn practical steps to break free from ... Show More
22m 33s
Jan 2025
Trick Yourself Into High Confidence
Have you ever felt trapped by self-doubt or overwhelmed by negative thoughts about yourself? In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz explores how our minds play tricks on us, creating distorted beliefs that undermine our confidence. But what if you could flip the scri ... Show More
20m 17s