logo
episode-header-image
May 2022
19m 44s

#7: The Anxious-Avoidant Trap

Stephanie Rigg
About this episode

In this episode, we're diving into the anxious-avoidant trap - aka, what happens when an anxious and an avoidant person end up in a relationship. We'll cover what the anxious-avoidant trap usually entails, how these two attachment styles clash, why they're so often attracted to each other, and most importantly, how to make it work.

Click here to join the waitlist for my signature program, Healing Anxious Attachment

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Up next
Feb 3
#229: The Hallmarks of a Secure Relationship
A secure relationship isn’t one where nothing ever goes wrong — it’s one where the foundation is strong enough to hold the hard stuff. For many people (especially those with anxious attachment), insecurity doesn’t come from being “too sensitive,” but from being in dynamics that l ... Show More
19m 58s
Jan 29
#228: When You Want More Words of Affirmation — But Don’t Want to Ask (Ask Steph)
In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener question about wanting more words of affirmation from a partner — but not wanting to feel like you're constantly asking for it. This is a really common tension, especially for people with anxious attachment. On one hand, words of ... Show More
7m 33s
Jan 27
#227: The Most Common Forms of Self-Sabotage After a Break-Up
Break-ups are painful — but often, the way we try to cope with that pain can quietly keep us stuck in it for much longer than necessary.In this episode of On Attachment, I walk through five of the most common ways people unknowingly self-sabotage after a break-up, particularly th ... Show More
19m 30s
Recommended Episodes
Dec 2022
97. Attachment – The Anxious Avoidant Trap + How to Get Out of It with Nicole Walker
If you and your partner are struggling because one of you peruses connection and desires intimacy, but the other one of you pushes away and highly values autonomy, you might be falling into the anxious-avoidant trap. In this episode we talk about: · What the anxious-avoidant tra ... Show More
53m 1s
Aug 2023
Why Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Attract Each Other
In this episode, I share why anxious and avoidant attachments are attracted to each other from an attachment lens, and how they can work towards creating a secure bond. These tips apply for all attachment style dynamics. ——— Attachment Coaching: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.co ... Show More
14m 54s
Jun 2022
42 - Avoidant Attachment: Why They Pull Away ft. Dr Tari Mack
Ever dated an avoidant man or woman? They disappear when conflict starts or a conversation heats up? You feel like you get close to them, but never quite fully there? Maybe you are one yourself and other people feel ‘too needy, too much’, or that being independent and alone is sa ... Show More
38m 3s
Jul 2022
43 - The disorganized and fearful avoidant attachment style ft. Dr Tari Mack
The attachment style - fearful avoidant, also known as ‘disorganized’ is often overlooked. Do you feel like you want to be close to people and want their love, but when you get close, you feel like it is a dangerous space to be in? Maybe you push people away before they can push ... Show More
33m 29s
Nov 2023
128 - Avoidant Attachment: The Real Reason They Pull Away
The avoidantly attached deserved some airtime. Are avoidantly attached individuals avoiding love or avoiding vulnerability, rejection and potential discomfort? In this heavily requested episode, this week Louise & clinical psychologist Dr. Tari Mack dive into the Avoidant Attachm ... Show More
45m 56s
Jun 2022
40 - ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT: How to heal (Pt. 2) ft. Dr. Tari Mack
ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT THERAPY EBOOKS NOW AVAILABLE ⇢ The Ultimate Guide - How to navigate & heal your anxious attachment style when dating - A 26 page PDF guide created by clinical psychologist Dr Tari Mack & Louise Rumball - linked HERE ⇢ The Ultimate Script - How to communicate ... Show More
45m 36s
Sep 2021
Why Are Anxious and Avoidant Attachments Attracted To Each Other?
In this episode, I briefly share the psychology behind why anxious and avoidant attachments are attracted to each other. This is the most common attachment dynamic, however also the most complicated one due to subconscious factors. Hopefully this episode will give you some clarit ... Show More
9m 46s