Today

9m 35s

Why Rushing Always Fails With Avoidants

About this episode

When getting back with an ex, people usually say they're going to "take it slow", but rarely do.

Dating expert Lucia explains why pace is the deciding factor, especially with an avoidant ex and why talking doesn't actually move things forward.

Get coaching!

Download Silenzio App: iPhone OR Android

Read No Contact Secrets Book

Say hi on Instagram

#exback #getexback

Up next

Jan 21

Why Being Patient With An Avoidant Backfires

Being patient with an avoidant doesn't save the connection - it often kills attraction.Dating expert Lucia explains why attraction fades when you're waiting, being understanding, and "not putting pressure on it". If you've been trying to stay calm and do the right thing while not ... Show More

9m 11s

Jan 14

What Really Happens When You Stop Chasing Your Ex

When you've been dumped, the urge to chase can feel overwhelming, especially if you still want your ex back.Dating/relationship expert Lucia explains what actually changes when you stop chasing your ex, and why pulling back often shifts the dynamic in ways chasing never can.Get c ... Show More

8m 46s

Jan 8

What Your Ex Wants When They Text You

You've been in no contact and after weeks - or even months - of silence, your ex suddenly texts you. What does it actually mean, and should you respond right away or wait?Dating/relationship expert Lucia reveals why exes reach out during no contact, what they're really looking fo ... Show More

9m 28s

Recommended Episodes

Oct 28

How To Respond To Avoidants

You’re doing “the talk wrong and I’ll help you fix it.First, think - an avoidant brain is not a secure brain. You can’t talk to it like it’s an emotionally healthy brain.We think we have to soft talk an avoidant but they are really looking at you thinking - “ I g ... Show More

19m 11s

Jun 2025

303. The psychology of chronic apologising

"Sorry, can I just say something?", "sorry to bother you!", "oh, sorry!" - sound familiar? If you find yourself saying "sorry" for taking up space, having an opinion, or even when someone else bumps into you, you're not alone. That tiny, five-letter word, meant for genuine remors ... Show More

51m 3s

Aug 2025

275. How to Advocate for Yourself When Others Don’t Understand You

Feeling misunderstood is exhausting. When you’re worried about being too much or too hard to read, it’s easy to slip into performing instead of simply being yourself. And during summer, when social situations ramp up, that pressure to change or fit in can feel even heavier.In thi ... Show More

35m 3s

Sep 2025

Why You Can't Trust Yourself (And How to Fix It)

In today's episode I explain why you struggle to trust yourself and share the simple strategy to rebuild self-trust. I'll help you identify healthy vs unhealthy attachment to your therapist, recognize when you're protecting yourself in therapy, and understand the root causes of i ... Show More

42m 4s

Apr 2019

The science behind forgiveness and how it affects our mental health

On this week's episode of the podcast, I talk about the power of forgiveness. It's scientifically proven that forgiveness can impact our health. As mental health professionals, this has important impacts both personally and professionally. I have also included a downloadable PDF ... Show More

42m 50s

Sep 2024

"How do I know what's really me versus what's my mental illness?"

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about distinguishing between our core personality and trauma response, how to figure out what our identity is without our mental illness, and dealing with SA online. She then explains how we can know if we are being lazy, how to ask ... Show More

43m 41s

May 2025

I'm Sorry

In this refreshing episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz dives into a deceptively simple question with massive implications: “Are you apologizing too much?” Most people don’t even realize how often they say “sorry”—not just in words, but in their tone, posture, and energy. ... Show More

22m 51s

May 2025

295. Why we have vulnerability hangovers

Have you ever opened up, shared something real, and then immediately regretted it? That post-overshare spiral—the “why did I say that?” dread—is what we call a vulnerability hangover. In this episode, we dive deep into the psychology behind why vulnerability can feel so physicall ... Show More

48m 33s

Oct 2024

How to Open Up in Therapy: Finding Courage to Share & Heal

This week licensed therapist, Kati Morton talks about therapy and how to get comfortable sharing with our therapist. She also discusses honesty in therapy, its importance, and how we can find the courage to share what we are going through. She then explains how to know when we ne ... Show More

33m 45s

Sep 2025

What If You Want to Stay With a Narcissist?

What happens if you want to stay with a narcissist—or even go back to one? In this video, Lee Hammock (Self-Aware Narcissist) explains what it really means to remain in a toxic relationship and why radical acceptance is the only way forward.More resources and join the group coach ... Show More

11m 46s