logo
episode-header-image
Mar 2025
15m 40s

#179: Why You Struggle With Self-Trust

Stephanie Rigg
About this episode

Self-trust is something we all want, but many of us struggle to build it. If you find yourself second-guessing your decisions, over-preparing for worst-case scenarios, or feeling like you can't rely on yourself, you're not alone. 

In this episode, we’re unpacking why self-trust is so challenging, especially for those with anxious attachment, and how to shift your focus to build a strong foundation of inner security.

What We Cover in This Episode:

  • Why anxiety craves control — and how this undermines self-trust
  • The inverse relationship between trust and control
  • How trying to prevent bad things from happening leads to self-blame
  • A powerful reframe: self-trust isn’t about making the "right" decision, but making decisions in alignment with your values
  • The biggest ways we unknowingly damage self-trust
  • Why building self-trust is essential for healing anxious attachment

Self-trust isn’t about getting everything right or ensuring a perfect outcome, but about showing up with integrity and knowing you have your own back. 

💌 Join the VIP List for Healing Anxious Attachment's Birthday Sale 💌

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Up next
Nov 20
#215: Resentment, Real Repair, Conflict Avoidance & Navigating Dating With Kids — ft. James ‘Fish’ Gill
<p>In today’s episode, I’m joined by my friend James “Fish” Gill for a listener Q&amp;A all about conflict, communication, and staying connected through hard moments.</p><p>We explore some big questions, including:</p><ul><li><strong>How to release resentment</strong> when a conf ... Show More
1h 10m
Nov 11
#214: Parenting Q&A: Fears About Having Kids, Staying Connected After a Baby, Anxious-Avoidant Dynamics & More
In this special episode of On Attachment, I sit down with my partner Joel to answer your questions about our journey into parenthood with our now 18 month old son. We explore the transition to parenting, how our attachment styles have shaped the experience, and what helps us stay ... Show More
23m 16s
Nov 4
#213: How to Care Less About Others' Opinions & Trust Yourself More
So many of us spend our lives orienting around what other people think of us — seeking approval, avoiding disapproval, and constantly scanning for reassurance that we’re doing, saying, and being the “right” thing.If you lean towards anxious attachment patterns, this makes perfect ... Show More
17m 27s
Recommended Episodes
Mar 2025
CLOSURE IS NOT NEEDED TO MOVE ON - How to Let Go & Find Peace Without Closure | Mafe's Sessions #6
<p><span>Closure is something we’ve been taught to seek after a relationship ends, a friendship falls apart, or a situation doesn’t go as planned. </span></p><p><span>We wait for an apology, an explanation, or a final conversation to give us the “permission” to move on. But what ... Show More
13m 40s
Sep 23
#288 Healing Through Letters: A Breakup Recovery Tool
<p>In today’s solo episode, I’m diving into one of my all-time favorite tools for breakup healing—letter writing. I share why this practice has been so powerful for me, how I integrate it into my coaching sessions, and exactly why it helps with those obsessive post-breakup though ... Show More
20m 15s
Aug 6
Dealing with Breakups - Why anxious attachment makes letting go so hard!
Breakups are never easy but if you struggle with anxious attachment, letting go can feel impossible. The end of a relationship doesn’t just bring sadness - it can trigger panic, obsessive thoughts, deep fear of abandonment, and an overwhelming sense of loss.In this episode, I exp ... Show More
42m 41s
May 2025
#270 Reclaiming Yourself After Heartbreak: How to Take Back What Was Lost
<p>Today I’m taking you solo through a topic that hits close to home—reclaiming the things that feel lost after a breakup. Whether it’s a favorite song, a restaurant, a hobby, or even an entire part of town, breakups often leave us avoiding things we used to love.</p><p>In this e ... Show More
23m 32s
May 2025
#268 From Shock to Sadness: How Breakup Pain Evolves Over Time
<p>In today’s solo episode, I’m diving deep into what it’s really like to go through the initial shock after a breakup. I’ll share what those first days can feel like—whether you’re in disbelief, feeling numb, caught up in logistical details, or hoping your ex might come back. I’ ... Show More
21m 31s
Sep 9
#286 Navigating the Final Stretch of Breakup Recovery
<p>In today's solo episode, I'm diving into what I call the final 10% of breakup recovery—that last stretch where you feel mostly healed, but still find yourself thinking about your ex, feeling frustrated, or just not quite “over it” yet. I talk through why this stage can feel so ... Show More
22m 18s
Apr 2025
#265 Listener Confessions: Most Shocking Breakup Challenges
<p>In this episode I explore the raw and often hidden challenges of going through a breakup. I reached out to my Instagram followers and gathered honest, anonymous responses about what surprised them most during their breakup journey. From feeling unexpectedly blindsided and deal ... Show More
23m 2s
Dec 2022
EP16: Letting Go and Moving On: What to Do When a Relationship Ends
<p>Sarah and Therapy Jeff are continuing last week's conversation about ending relationships. Dealing with the end of a relationship is hard, no matter the circumstances. Do we need closure? How do we get closure? What do we even mean by "closure' in the first place? We often thi ... Show More
1h 2m
Jun 2025
#274 Healing Heartbreak with Intuition and Action with Laura Day
<p>In today’s expert episode, I’m joined by New York Times bestselling author <a href="https://lauraday.com/" rel="" target="_blank">Laura Day</a> to dive into her newest book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Prism-Seven-Steps-Transform-Future/dp/1954118708/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2PYO5M ... Show More
52m 26s
Jun 2025
If You Can’t Get Over Your Ex—Listen to This! (7 Steps to Stop Obsessing and FINALLY Move on After a Breakup)
Do you still think about your ex a lot? What’s been the hardest part of moving on? Today, Jay shares a heartfelt and practical guide for anyone moving through heartbreak. He explains that the pain of a breakup often comes from more than just losing someone, but it’s grieving the ... Show More
24m 47s