logo
episode-header-image
Jan 2025
23m 8s

428 SelfWork: The Shame and Self-Blame G...

MARGARET ROBINSON RUTHERFORD PHD
About this episode
The focus today is on what I call "the shame and self-blame game." One listener told me recently that she wondered for a long time - “Did I allow my abuse?” How many of you feel to blame for your own abuse? And does that very shame and self-blame make it even more important to keep what happened secret? You bet it can. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp ... Show More
Up next
Jul 17
507 SelfWork: How to Effectively Talk To A Perfectionist
The subject for today is how to talk with a perfectionist about your concern for them. Or if you’re the perfectionist, how to allow someone into your world enough for you to hear that concern. I'll offer five definite approaches that work and you'll learn about the feedback loop ... Show More
22m 55s
Jul 10
506 SelfWork: Therapy Harm: Straight Talk with Dr. Patricia Dixon
Therapy harm is the topic this week, as Dr. Margaret welcomes her guest Dr. Patricia Dixon to SelfWork.What is therapy harm?We talk more openly than ever about the benefits of therapy, but less about the ways therapy can unintentionally cause harm. And harm does happen far too of ... Show More
39m 6s
Jul 3
505 SelfWork: What's The Most Recent News For Depression Sufferers in 2026?
What's the most recent news for depression sufferers in 2026?That's the question Dr. Margaret researched today. Some new treatments are available now; some are still trying to get FDA approval. But there's a lot of promise out there, especially for what's termed treatment-resista ... Show More
20m 21s
Recommended Episodes
Sep 2020
265: Addressing Our Shame
Shame can be an emotion that takes a toll on us personally and in a relationship. Listen to today's show to learn how to address our shame or the shame our partner has toward themselves. In this episode, we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Understand the important ... Show More
46m 25s
Feb 2019
5. Releasing Shame
<p>Hey girl hey!</p> <p> </p> <p>In this episode we get into what exactly is shame? How does shame become embedded into our subconscious? What does it look like when we define ourselves by shame? And what does it look like when we define ourselves in rebellion against the shame p ... Show More
25m 6s
Sep 2023
Ep 208 The Cycle of Self-Shame
<p dir="ltr">Self-shame is a complex and deeply ingrained emotion that many of us experience at some point in our lives. It can manifest in various ways, impacting our self-esteem, relationships, and overall well-being. We will delve into the intricate cycle of self-shame, explor ... Show More
15m 23s
Oct 2024
237. The psychology of shame
Shame follows us everywhere. So many of us are bound by shame about our past, our mistakes, our identity, our looks, our decisions and choices. This can make living a meaningful and fulfilling life incredibly difficult when you have your own personal, shame bully following you ev ... Show More
37m 57s
Mar 2020
124. Self-Improvement Shame
Join me this week as I introduce you to a concept I call self-improvement shame. Coming to this work with shame about yourself, to change your own negative thoughts about yourself, is never going to produce the change you want to see. You can’t outrun your shame, and so instead, ... Show More
25m 10s
Sep 2022
Ep 180: How to Let Go of Shame Over a Past Life
Shame is one of the most damaging feelings because of how it defines us to us. This is a request and it’s for anyone who has shameful memories that cause them pain, a person who has changed their life and made amends but cannot seem to let go of the shame. I can relate! Know that ... Show More
44m 29s
Sep 2025
How to Let Go of Your Shame, Solved
Chances are, there’s something in your life you feel deeply ashamed about—something you’ve never told anyone, something you can’t even admit to yourself. In this episode, we go deep into the emotion we all experience but almost no one wants to talk about: shame. Where it comes fr ... Show More
3h 48m
Oct 2018
219 - How to Overcome Feelings of Shame
What do challenges as diverse as addiction, perfectionism, narcissism, and masochism have in common? They’re driven by a family of emotions that share “a painful awareness of self,” otherwise known as shame. This week, Savvy Psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen talks with psychologi ... Show More
20m 48s
Jun 2025
How To Dismantle Shame
Have you ever felt like something about you was just…wrong? In this episode, we dive deep into the roots of shame—where it comes from, why we all experience it, and how it impacts our relationships in sneaky ways like defensiveness, over-explaining, or shutting down. Unpack the e ... Show More
51m 34s