logo
episode-header-image
Mar 2024
22 m

When the good you do for them leads nowh...

PAUL COLAIANNI
About this episode

Some emotionally abusive people don't change, no matter how much the victim of their hurtful behavior changes for them. Is there ever a point where they will be the person you want them to be? Or does anything you do really matter at all? 

Up next
Mar 13
The healed emotional abuser is more than just a behavioral change
I've seen emotionally abusive people heal and become completely different people. You wouldn't even recognize them! And when you no longer recognize the person who's hurt you over and over again, that might be a very good thing. 
51m 49s
Mar 3
Do we talk about divorce during the argument or the calm period
When you've decided to leave the emotionally abusive relationship, when is the best time to bring it up? During the storm or the calm? 
24m 37s
Feb 10
Do I accept that this is how theyll be forever
Some behaviors are unacceptable. Some people are unacceptable. Just what should you accept and what should you do when you can't? Emotional abuse has a tendency to make you feel completely powerless, unable to make such decisions. 
43m 26s
Recommended Episodes
Apr 2016
Depending on Abusive People - When Physical Pain Will Not End - Should You Take Someone Who Desperately Wants You
Being in abusive relationship of any kind, especially where you have a dependency on the abuser for one reason or another leaves you in a tough spot. Can you leave and still be okay, or are you so dependent that leaving will put you in a worse situation? This is a tough position ... Show More
1h 9m
Mar 2020
Making sure toxic people and toxic environments don't take over your life
What do you do when peace and happiness are just around the corner, but getting there is full of toxic obstacles that you feel powerless against? There may be priorities and values in place that need to be changed, but that's not all. When you don't make the changes you need to m ... Show More
1h 8m
Aug 2021
Some people just like to put you down and keep you there
The relentless pursuit of power over you is where some people are in your life. They come at you, offend you, insult you, and expect you to do what they want. It's easy to dismiss when they're strangers. But what about if they're family? Is there a way to interact with them and k ... Show More
1h 2m
Feb 2021
Laying down the ground rules for the toxic people in your life
If you want a toxic person to change, it will probably never happen. However, there is something you can do to change the course of the relationship that may actually cause them to act differently. Sometimes you gotta make rules that guide toxic people to healthier behavior. 
1h 1m
Sep 2016
EP #047 Overcoming An Abusive Relationship
Nothing is more damaging to your confidence and self-esteem than being in an emotionally abusive relationship. So often you make excuses for their behavior, think that it is your fault or feel that you can change their ways. In this episode I offer practical techniques so that yo ... Show More
17m 34s
Mar 2022
Good or Not so Good? | الافعال الطيبة بحدود
‏What I want to say that I am a good person and will do good by you; but not to the extend where I could lose myself. By the end of the day; You want to be nice but you do not allow people to hurt you. You be good but do not let others use and abuse you. You are a giving person; ... Show More
26m 2s
Aug 2022
What's the point of the day to day just to feel depressed and anxious?
Going about your life shouldn't be a constant stress on your system. Sometimes we let our fears override our values. When that happens, we end up with results we don't want more often than not. I talk about that in today's episode and I also answer a question about how to respond ... Show More
1h 21m
Apr 2021
#31 The Price of Choice
Everything you do or not do has consequences. How do you handle the weight of your actions? And how do you handle self-doubt as someone who seeks to improve and become better? 
30m 3s
Aug 2020
Manipulators & Being Manipulated In Relationships
When you've been in a relationship with a disturbed manipulative person, regardless of where they are on the spectrum, you get into a real habit of looking outward far too much. All of your attention and energy is focused on what are they going to do next? How are they going to r ... Show More
34m 10s
Oct 2022
The negativity that likes to work its way into your mind and body
Are you inadvertently allowing negativity into my mind and body? When someone puts you down or mistreats you, is it possible you are unintentionally enabling this behavior? You shouldn't be blamed for other people's bad behaviors, but you should also not be too tolerant of it eit ... Show More
1h 11m