When the good you do for them leads nowh...

Breadcrumbing can be a manipulative way to keep someone in your mind so that you can't fully move forward, keeping you as a pawn in another person's game. In this episode, a person wrote to me talking about their ex, a 13-year breadcrumber! 

The way someone talks about their relationship reveals a lot. Abuse victims and perpetrators each have their own language patterns. Knowing these language patterns will help you understand on which side of the fence you're on. 

In abusive relationships it might be difficult or even impossible to discern which parts of yourself are truly you and which are shaped by the abuse. Let's talk about what it takes to start building or rebuilding your identity. 

Being in abusive relationship of any kind, especially where you have a dependency on the abuser for one reason or another leaves you in a tough spot. Can you leave and still be okay, or are you so dependent that leaving will put you in a worse situation? This is a tough position ... Show More

What do you do when peace and happiness are just around the corner, but getting there is full of toxic obstacles that you feel powerless against? There may be priorities and values in place that need to be changed, but that's not all. When you don't make the changes you need to m ... Show More

The relentless pursuit of power over you is where some people are in your life. They come at you, offend you, insult you, and expect you to do what they want. It's easy to dismiss when they're strangers. But what about if they're family? Is there a way to interact with them and k ... Show More

If you want a toxic person to change, it will probably never happen. However, there is something you can do to change the course of the relationship that may actually cause them to act differently. Sometimes you gotta make rules that guide toxic people to healthier behavior. 

Nothing is more damaging to your confidence and self-esteem than being in an emotionally abusive relationship. So often you make excuses for their behavior, think that it is your fault or feel that you can change their ways. In this episode I offer practical techniques so that yo ... Show More

What I want to say that I am a good person and will do good by you; but not to the extend where I could lose myself. By the end of the day; You want to be nice but you do not allow people to hurt you. You be good but do not let others use and abuse you. You are a giving person; b ... Show More

Going about your life shouldn't be a constant stress on your system. Sometimes we let our fears override our values. When that happens, we end up with results we don't want more often than not. I talk about that in today's episode and I also answer a question about how to respond ... Show More

Everything you do or not do has consequences. How do you handle the weight of your actions? And how do you handle self-doubt as someone who seeks to improve and become better? 

When you've been in a relationship with a disturbed manipulative person, regardless of where they are on the spectrum, you get into a real habit of looking outward far too much. All of your attention and energy is focused on what are they going to do next? How are they going to r ... Show More

Are you inadvertently allowing negativity into my mind and body? When someone puts you down or mistreats you, is it possible you are unintentionally enabling this behavior? You shouldn't be blamed for other people's bad behaviors, but you should also not be too tolerant of it eit ... Show More