logo
episode-header-image
Feb 2024
36m 5s

166. Fantasy bonding - is it love or del...

iHeartPodcasts
About this episode

Sometimes we become more attached to the idea of someone and their potential, than the reality of who they actually are. We begin to project our wants and desires on to them and ignore the red flags, the disappointments, the truth. This is what we call fantasy bonding and it prevents us from seeing someone for who they truly are, causes us to be lead along and invest in the wrong people. In this episode, we break down the psychology of fantasy bonding, including: 

  • The origins of fantasy bonding in childhood
  • How a fantasy bond emerges 
  • Relationship intensity and attachment
  • Why our fear of loneliness drives us into the wrong relationships
  • The idealisation of our partners 
  • What happens when the fantasy fades 
  • How to avoid a fantasy bond 

Listen now. 

Follow us on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast 

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

 

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Up next
Mar 12
394. What is the pursuer-distancer relationship dynamic?
When one person tries to get closer to someone else, and the other person pulls away in response, they might be experiencing a pursuer-distancer dynamic. This can create a very painful cycle, where communication breaks down, each side blames the other, and ultimately, nobody has ... Show More
39m 27s
Mar 9
393. The psychology of stoicism
If you heard someone described as stoic, you would probably imagine they were unemotional and repressed, with a stiff upper lip. But stoicism has a PR problem. In fact, stoicism can teach us a lot about letting go of outcomes, being more tolerant of others, and how to live a more ... Show More
37m 20s
Mar 5
392. Why is whimsy so powerful
We often dismiss the small, playful things we do to keep life joyful: collecting trinkets, baking for no reason, blowing bubbles, looking for magic. They’re labelled childish, unnecessary, or unserious. But psychology and neuroscience tell a very different story. Today, we're bre ... Show More
39m 26s
Recommended Episodes
Dec 2018
178: What's Your Fantasy?
Sexual fantasy can play a large role in a relationship and individual sexuality. However, there's often a fair amount of shame around sexuality and sexual fantasies. Listen to today's show to learn how to explore your own fantasies and share them with your partner. You just might ... Show More
50m 14s
Feb 2023
Episode 168: How To Bring Your Sexual Fantasies To Life
<p>There’s a pretty big gap between fantasy and reality. In my own research, I&#8217;ve found that about 80% of adults say they have a fantasy they&#8217;d like to act out at some point, but just about 20% have ever done so before. I&#8217;ve also found that only about half of ad ... Show More
25m 8s
Jan 2024
Ep. 112: Exploring Your Sexual Fantasies
Hello! Please feel free to text me here but you will have to type your first and last name, email and phone number in your message for me to be able to respond. I look forward to connecting! Sincerely, Dr. BawaSexual fantasies are something many people don't even discuss with the ... Show More
4m 52s
Aug 2023
Once Porn Was The Only Culprit, Now A New Fantasy Reeks Havoc On Relationships
We are still on vacation so please enjoy one of our favorite past episodes. On this episode we talk about fantasy: erotic fantasy worlds that men create in their minds inspired by scrolling social media. It's not about an addiction to porn, it's something else. A whole new world ... Show More
48m 41s
Jun 2023
Episode 201: What We Fantasize About, And How To Share Your Fantasies
<p>Let&#8217;s talk about sexual fantasies! In today&#8217;s show, we’re going to explore what people fantasize about doing sexually—and how that varies around the world. So how does culture influence what we fantasize about? We’re also going to discuss how people feel about thei ... Show More
35m 6s
May 2021
#14: When love hurts: Are you in a Trauma Bond?
<p>Is love supposed to hurt? Is it normal to feel emotionally attached to a person who hurts you, keeps making empty promises to change,  and yet you find yourself staying anyway? In today&apos;s episode, we&apos;re talking about trauma bonds and why it&apos;s not actually &quot; ... Show More
21m 21s
Dec 2021
What’s Your Sexual Fantasy?
So you’ve got a sex fantasy...and you’re ready for it to become reality. That’s great! But let me be the first to tell you: this process is part art, part science. The art? That’s your erotic self. Closing your eyes, imagining hot -- possibly taboo -- scenarios, and taking the ti ... Show More
29m 28s
Mar 2024
The Lover’s Chains: Whispers of the slave’s heart
In this episode, I explore the archetype of the 'Lover' in BDSM relationships. While the word 'Lover' often conjures up images of passion and romance, in BDSM, it encompasses so much more: empathy, connection, innocent energy, vulnerability, and ego. But the Lover archetype isn’t ... Show More
19m 28s