Growing up, Eliza learned that having a stable job meant you were doing well—and that people who didn't have one could be viewed as lazy or unable to get their lives together. She also missed an important developmental stage: the freedom to discover what she liked, who she was, and how she naturally wanted to express herself.
Now, through raising her own children, Eliza has an opportunity to give herself something she didn't receive: permission to discover herself without pressure.
Together, Christine and Eliza explore identity, people-pleasing, parenting, boundaries, self-worth, generational patterns, and the difference between who you truly are and the roles you play in the world.
If you've ever thought, "I should know what I want by now," or felt ashamed because your career doesn't look the way you thought it would, this episode offers a powerful invitation: stop forcing yourself to have the answer and allow yourself to enter a season of discovery.
Press play to explore how reconnecting with your authentic self may bring far more clarity than trying to force yourself into another role.
Do you feel pressure to have your career or next chapter figured out?
Was your worth growing up connected to achievement, productivity, or having a "good" job?
Are you making choices based on what you genuinely want—or what you believe other people will approve of?
Did you have the freedom as a child to discover your interests, preferences, and authentic self?
Have you confused your job, career, or other roles with your identity?
Where might people-pleasing be making it harder to hear your own desires?
Not knowing what you want doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong with you. You may never have been given enough space to discover it.
When worth becomes tied to productivity or employment, career uncertainty can trigger deep shame.
Feelings can be powerful without necessarily being facts.
Missing a developmental stage in childhood can create patterns that continue showing up in adulthood.
Parenting can provide an opportunity to reparent ourselves alongside our children.
Moving from authoritarian parenting to overly permissive parenting doesn't necessarily break the pattern; healthy boundaries still matter.
People-pleasing makes discovering yourself difficult because so much energy is spent monitoring what everyone else wants.
Setting boundaries doesn't mean you're dishonoring someone else's feelings or desires.
A career can be one expression of who you are, but it does not have to define your identity.
Sometimes clarity comes after discovery—not before it.
Give yourself permission to put the pressure of finding the "right" job aside for now.
Consider this season a discovery process rather than a problem you need to solve.
As your children explore what they enjoy, allow their curiosity and playfulness to reconnect you with younger parts of yourself.
Notice the qualities, interests, and forms of expression that begin coming back online.
Practice stronger boundaries while remembering that honoring someone else's desires doesn't mean always giving them what they want.
Notice when you're making a decision because you're afraid someone will be disappointed in you.
Explore who you are through your qualities and authentic expression rather than through your job title.
Release guilt or shame around making a self-honoring choice that works for your family during this stage of your life.
Christine offers Eliza a helpful metaphor for separating identity from the roles we play.
Think of your authentic identity as water.
Your roles—mother, wife, teacher, coach, podcaster, employee, entrepreneur, or anything else—are the different glasses that hold that water.
The glasses can change.
You are the water, not the glass.
Instead of asking a job to give you an identity, begin by discovering the authentic version of yourself. Then ask: What roles allow that version of me to express itself?
Christine and her husband, Stef, are teaching a free three-day virtual workshop on October 13, 14, and 15 for those who desire a healthy, aligned partnership.
Christine shares that they'll be teaching the work they did to call each other in and invites listeners who desire partnership to learn more and register.
Register for the free Love Magnet workshop
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