EP 556: Why Do I Associate Success with ...

What if part of you wants success—but another part believes achieving it will cost you your health, relationships, or well-being?

In this insightful coaching session, Christine works with Maya, an ambitious entrepreneur who knows she's capable of achieving big things in her career. But after years of professional success coincided with increasing health challenges, Maya has begun to associate achievement with stress, exhaustion, and physical suffering.

Now, as she intentionally slows down and prioritizes her health, she notices something surprising: the better she begins to feel, the more she slips back into old habits. It's almost as if part of her doesn't want to fully recover—because getting better might mean returning to the same version of success that depleted her in the first place.

Christine helps Maya reframe what looks like self-sabotage as protection.

As they explore Maya's childhood, another layer emerges. Health challenges were present from a young age, while success was modeled as something that required hard work and sacrifice. Maya also remembers desperately wanting friendship, belonging, and romantic attention as a young girl—only to experience rejection and disappointment.

Could a younger part of her have learned that putting herself out there isn't safe?

Together, Christine and Maya explore the connection between physical health and emotional patterns, subconscious protection, childhood experiences, belonging, success, relationships, and the possibility that we don't have to choose between thriving professionally and thriving personally.

If you've ever said, "I know what I want, so why do I keep getting in my own way?" this conversation offers a compassionate alternative: perhaps you aren't sabotaging yourself at all. Perhaps a younger part of you is simply trying to keep you safe using an outdated strategy.

Press play to explore how curiosity, compassion, and working with—not against—your protective parts can begin creating a new definition of success.

Consider / Ask Yourself

• Do you unconsciously associate success with stress, overworking, or self-sacrifice?
• Do you believe you have to choose between your health and your ambitions?
• Is there something you consciously want but continually find yourself resisting?
• When something fulfilling is followed by discomfort, do you automatically conclude that you shouldn't have done it?
• Could what you've labeled "self-sabotage" actually be a protective pattern trying to keep you safe?

Key Insights and A-Ha's

• What looks like self-sabotage may actually be a subconscious attempt at protection.
• We can consciously want something while a younger part of us associates getting it with pain, rejection, exhaustion, or danger.
• Early health challenges can influence how safe or reliable we believe our bodies are.
• The way success was modeled in childhood can shape whether we associate achievement with ease or with sacrifice and overwork.
• Experiences of rejection and not belonging can create protective patterns around relationships, visibility, and putting ourselves out into the world.
• Physical and emotional experiences don't always have to be viewed separately; Christine encourages a holistic approach that considers both.
• When discomfort follows an enjoyable experience, immediately deciding "I shouldn't have done that" can reinforce an existing protective pattern.
• Both the part that wants expansion and the part that wants to retreat may ultimately be trying to create safety, health, and happiness.
• Our conscious adult self may feel ready for something while a younger part of us still needs reassurance.

How to Deepen the Work

• When resistance appears, get curious instead of immediately trying to override it.
• Ask the protective part: "What are you afraid will happen if I do this?"
• Explore: "What does this remind you of?"
• When you're experiencing physical discomfort, focus on what your body needs rather than immediately connecting the symptoms to something enjoyable you recently did.
• Notice when you're telling yourself, "I shouldn't have done that," and consider whether that story is reinforcing an old pattern.
• Explore both physical and emotional avenues of support rather than assuming everything has a single cause.
• Begin creating a new definition of success that includes health, relationships, connection, and well-being rather than requiring sacrifice.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

Love Block Quiz

Christine and her husband created a free Love Block Quiz to help identify subconscious blocks that may be getting in the way of calling in the relationship you desire.

Take Christine's free Love Block Quiz

Be the Queen

Christine and her husband teach Be the Queen for women who are ready to call in healthy, aligned partnership and explore the conscious, subconscious, energetic, and relational patterns that may be affecting their love lives.

Christine is currently taking names for the early-bird interest list, which includes access to a special early-bird discount before the program launches.

Join the Be the Queen interest list

One-on-One Coaching with Christine

Christine shares that she currently has space for a couple more private coaching clients for those interested in deeper individualized work.

Learn more about one-on-one coaching with Christine

Social Media + Resources

• Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
• Christine Hassler Podcasts including Coaches Corner
• Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler
• Facebook — Christine Hassler
• Instagram — @ChristineHassler
• Instagram — @SacredUnionCouples
• Apply to be coached on the show
• Courses, retreats, and more resources