logo
episode-header-image
Sep 15
1h 25m

Unpacking Fawning, the Misunderstood Tra...

Dear Media
About this episode

We’ve all heard of fight, flight, and freeze, but what about the fourth F of trauma responses? It’s called fawning and we have Dr. Ingrid Clayon join us to discuss what it looks like (leaning in even when you’re uncomfortable, needing to please), why we fawn in childhood, relationships, the workplace, etc., and how to break these patterns. We discuss how fawning compares and contrasts to people pleasing, and how fawners have trouble finding healthy relationships, saying no, recognizing their own anxiety, and being honest in therapy. And Ingrid offers advice for getting curious about the trauma responses that could be holding you back, recognizing and not sabotaging healthy partners, and speaking up when you don’t like something. Before Ingrid joins us, we have a SHOW ANNOUNCEMENT, Ashley gives a family/health update, and Rayna is making new friends. Enjoy! 

Follow Ingrid on Instagram at @ingridclaytonphd and get her book Fawning.

Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more.

Thank you to our partners this week:

Function: Our first 1000 listeners get a $100 credit toward your membership at https://functionhealth.com/gge or use code GGE100.

Smart Mouth: Get a special discount on your next SmartMouth purchase at www.smartmouth.com/gge.

ZBiotics: Get 15% off your first order at https://zbiotics.com/gge with code GGE.

Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions at https://rocketmoney.com/gge.

Saks Fifth Avenue: Head to Saks Fifth Avenue or saks.com for inspiring ways to elevate your personal style.

AG1: Get a free frother with your first purchase of AGZ at https://drinkagi.com/gge.

Up next
Oct 6
Help, I’m Having Doubts About My Partner!
It’s just us this week and we’re breaking down a listener email about the relatable crisis of having doubts about your long-term partner. We discuss so many aspects of relationships and marriages -- marrying young (and what IS the optimal age to say I Do), not growing in the same ... Show More
1h 19m
Oct 2
The Snack: Bad Bunny, Fat Bear Week, and Life of a Showgirl
Welcome back to The Snack – a lighter serving of Girls Gotta Eat. This week, we’re talking about: Azul’s mouth makeover Fat Bear Week Bad Bunny doing Super Bowl halftime (and responses to it) Taylor Swift’s new album (and criticisms) Woman in San Francisco using billboards to fin ... Show More
56m 16s
Sep 29
What Does a Wedding Cost? (and Other Burning Questions) with Planner Jacquelyn Aleece
We have Ashley’s wedding planner in the house! Jacquelyn Aleece, founder of The Wedding Plan & Company, joins us to answer all your burning questions about weddings and spill some tea. We discuss money stuff – how much a wedding actually costs, where to save and where to splurge, ... Show More
1h 35m
Recommended Episodes
Aug 20
406: The Psychology of Fame, Codependency and Reclaiming Your Life with Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a therapist, author and former high-powered talent agent. From navigating the high-glam world of modeling agencies to helping A-listers through rehab, Terri's journey from powerhouse talent agent to renowned psychotherapist is anything but ordinary. In this episode, ... Show More
55m 41s
Dec 2024
459: Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents - With Dr. Lindsay Gibson
Welcome back to Therapy Chat! This week we have a replay of my first interview with Dr. Lindsay Gibson. Having emotionally immature parents is a common issue, but most of us don't realize how traumatizing it can be to grow up this way. When we are bothered by anxiety, depressive ... Show More
49m 23s
Aug 29
Fawning: Answering Your Questions With Dr. Ingrid Clayton
In this conversation, host Monique Koven has invited Dr Ingrid Clayton back to answer your questions. They explore the concept of fawning as a relational trauma response, discussing its implications on identity, relationships, and personal growth. They delve into the complexities ... Show More
50m 39s
Sep 3
Fear of Rejection
Fear of rejection is one of the biggest hurdles in dating, often holding people back from putting themselves out there or forming deeper connections. In this episode, we unpack where this fear comes from, how it ties into past experiences and self-worth, and why rejection is not ... Show More
46m 42s
Aug 27
Fear of Intimacy
This episode unpacks the fear of intimacy—why closeness can feel good yet terrifying at the same time. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren explore how fear of intimacy shows up in subtle and obvious ways, from ghosting and over-picking flaws to struggling with vulnerability in relationship ... Show More
52m 16s
Oct 2023
Two Cat Ladies Allergic to Their Cats w/ Violet Benson
This week, Scheana is joined in the studio by meme queen Violet Benson, creator of the popular @daddyissues_ platform and host of “Almost Adulting” podcast. Why did Violet have to use her EpiPen before coming to the studio (hint in title)? The inspiration behind Daddy Issues? How ... Show More
47m 21s
Jun 2025
How To Dismantle Shame
Have you ever felt like something about you was just…wrong? In this episode, we dive deep into the roots of shame—where it comes from, why we all experience it, and how it impacts our relationships in sneaky ways like defensiveness, over-explaining, or shutting down. Unpack the e ... Show More
51m 34s
May 2025
Bizarre Relationships with Animals (w/ Rose McIver)
Actress Rose McIver (Ghosts, iZombie, voice of Headgum) joins Nicole to explain New Zealand, why she doesn’t post her loved ones on social media, and talk about all the cute, funny other ways people show love. They get into weird animal relationship stories, like the woman in lov ... Show More
53m 49s
Sep 10
Why Smart Women Stay in Toxic Relationships (And Ignore the Red Flags) | Dr. Anna Machin
Craving love can connect us—or leave us vulnerable to harm we never saw coming. In this episode, I (Lisa Bilyeu) sit down with evolutionary anthropologist Dr. Anna Machin to peel back the science behind why we’re drawn to love, why it can blind us to red flags, and how manipulato ... Show More
55m 11s