logo
episode-header-image
Mar 2024
41m 44s

S7, Ep 5 Best Friend Therapy: Drama Tria...

Emma Reed Turrell
About this episode
Welcome back to Best Friend Therapy and this season’s opportunity for Emma to therapise our beloved guinea pig, Elizabeth Day, whilst offering some psycho-education for us all about the Transactional Analysis concept of the “Drama Triangle” - why and how we end up repeating conflict in relationships (be they personal or professional) and what we can do to change it.

The Drama Triangle was developed by Stephen Karpman in the 1960’s and tells us about three unhealthy roles we take on in drama - the Rescuer, the Persecutor, the Victim.

Elizabeth talks about a time she adopted the role of Rescuer as a way of defending her Victim and she recognises the futile task of trying to solve someone’s problems when they are not yet ready to change. She also tells us about the guilt she feels when she fails the other person and we uncover the unconscious motivations that are keeping her stuck.

Listen along with an example of your own and ask yourself:

If you’re the Rescuer, what are your feelings and needs?

If you’re the Persecutor, what can’t you tolerate really?

If you’re the Victim, what are your options to take back control?

Emma explains and gives examples of how to channel more productive, constructive Adult communication using Acey Choy’s “Winners Triangle”, to remove the conflict and get closer to the results you want.

---

The original reference for the Drama Triangle is: Karpman MD, Stephen (1968). "Fairy tales and script drama analysis". Transactional Analysis Bulletin. 26 (7): 39–43. https://www.karpmandramatriangle.com/pdf/DramaTriangle.pdf

Choy, Acey (1990). The Winner's Triangle Transactional Analysis Journal 20(1):40 https://www.scribd.com/document/577707612/Winner-s-Triangle

And this brilliant book by Ian Stewart and Vann Joines is a great introduction to all things TA, including Eric Berne’s work on Games: https://amzn.eu/d/eZEkUmD

---

Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.

---

Social Media:

Elizabeth Day @elizabday

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Email: contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk




Up next
Jul 28
Heartbreak: how to move on without all the answers
Welcome back to Dial Emma! Each week, I'll be answering your dilemmas with honesty, empathy, and a few therapeutic truth bombs to help you make sense of life's stickiest moments. If you've ever wished you had a therapist in your back pocket, Dial Emma is here to help.It's the las ... Show More
35m 38s
Jul 21
Zoe Blaskey: Motherhood, careers and the conspiracy of 'having it all'
Welcome back to Dial Emma! Each week, I'll be answering your dilemmas with honesty, empathy, and a few therapeutic truth bombs to help you make sense of life's stickiest moments. If you've ever wished you had a therapist in your back pocket, Dial Emma is here to help.To help me u ... Show More
33m 42s
Jul 14
Friendship & Grief: how do friendship dynamics play out after we experience loss?
Welcome back to Dial Emma! Each week, I'll be answering your dilemmas with honesty, empathy, and a few therapeutic truth bombs to help you make sense of life's stickiest moments. If you've ever wished you had a therapist in your back pocket, Dial Emma is here to help.This week, w ... Show More
19m 46s
Recommended Episodes
Jul 29
Why You Never Feel Good Enough (And How to Change That) with Dr Julie Smith
Tired of fighting your inner critic?Struggling to say no without guilt?Why does comparison feel so painful, and how do we use it to grow instead?Do your friendships feel more like nostalgia than connection? In this episode of A Really Good Cry, Radhi sits down with bestselling au ... Show More
55m 46s
Dec 2024
Working with Your Parts: Complex PTSD, Dissociation, and Hypervigilance with Elizabeth Ferreira
Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins the show to discuss complex trauma, dissociation, and working with challenging emotions. Forrest and Elizabeth start by exploring the relationship between Internal Family Systems and somatic therapy, including how we can apply a somatic ... Show More
1h 21m
Nov 2024
724. Narcissism in Female Friendships: How to Protect Your Energy
Are you constantly feeling like you're not enough in your relationships? In this episode, Krista goes solo to delve into the often-overlooked realm of narcissism in female friendships. Get ready for some incredible insight on how to recognize narcissistic traits in your girl grou ... Show More
1h 2m
Sep 2023
Ep 85. How to Take Control of Your Emotions with Nikki Evans
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Take your mental and emotional well-being to the next level with BetterHelp. Our listeners can now get 10% off their first month by using the link provided, HERE #ad In this episode, Sinead engages in a profound conversation with Nikki Eva ... Show More
51m 16s
Jan 2025
Imposter Syndrome & Comparison Culture: Ditch Self Doubt and Boost Confidence with Deborah Conquest
Hi everyone, and welcome to another episode of Ask Dr. Jodi! Tonight, I have the privilege of sitting down with my dear friend and vocal coach extraordinaire, Deborah Conquest, to unpack the topic of imposter syndrome. If you’ve ever felt like a fraud, doubted your abilities, or ... Show More
38m 39s
Jul 2
The Secret Language of Empathy & How To Use It
Empathy isn’t just a feeling—it’s a skillset, and in this episode, we break down its secret language. From how to stop jumping to advice-giving to what true emotional presence really looks like, we explore the four essential attributes of empathy. If you’ve ever wondered why your ... Show More
50m 48s
Sep 2023
Daniel Maté: Normal Is a Myth
The systems we live in suggest that a successful human life depends on denying pain, endless hustle, stress, and sustaining trauma—and making it all look easy. The only problem is that human nature objects. Psychological and physical suffering seem to be increasing while illness ... Show More
41m 52s
Jul 2024
*Bonus Epi* The Truth About Attachment Styles w/ Taylor Chandler
On this episode of Girl Stop Playin, I'm introducing you to Taylor Chandler, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Health Coach, and Transformational Leadership Coach. Taylor delves into the origins and significance of attachment styles, explaining how our early ... Show More
58m 42s
Dec 2024
Terri Cole: Stop Trying to Fix Everyone. Signs You’re a High-Functioning Codependent and How to Break the Cycle
What does it really mean to help someone, and where do we draw the line? In this episode of A Really Good Cry, I sit down with the incredible Terri Cole, a psychotherapist whose own life experiences offer a profound look into the world of high-functioning codependency. Terri shar ... Show More
1h 16m
May 22
How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome
We’ve all had that inner voice that sometimes says, “You don’t belong here.” That’s imposter syndrome, and there’s more to it than you might think.  In this episode, host and therapist Haesue Jo talks with Peabody and Emmy Award-winning journalist Jane Marie about what it’s like ... Show More
46m 38s