If our sex life doesn’t match the steamy scenes from the movies, it can bring up a lot of anxiety: “am I with the right partner sexually?” “are we having enough sex?” “is our sex passionate enough?” etc.

And the ironic part is that all the pressure we place on ourselves and our sex life to be amazing can create the opposite outcome—feeling distracted and disconnected.

In this episode what I wish I learned about sex earlier (so I’d have lower sex-pectations) and how to show up intentionally when it comes to sex so it causes less anxiety.

If you’re looking for a group of like-minded people alongside you as you build a more secure, loving relationship with your partner (and yourself), join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community! For just $7/month you get access to a live Q&A coaching call, exclusive content only on Patreon, instant access to my webinar library (normally $108), and weekly community posts and discussions. Click this link to join.

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Resources mentioned in this episode:

Emily Nagoski Ted Talk - How Couples Can Sustain a Strong Sexual Connection for a Lifetime: https://www.ted.com/talks/emily_nagoski_how_couples_can_sustain_a_strong_sexual_connection_for_a_lifetime
Esther Perel Ted Talk - The Secret to Desire in a Long Term Relationship: https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_the_secret_to_desire_in_a_long_term_relationship?language=en
Come As You Are book - Emily Nagoski
Mating in Captivity book - Esther Perel

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Additional resources:

#59 - Sex, Anxiety, and Sex Anxiety