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7m 57s

If You Can't Forgive Yourself, Do This O...

Lewis Howes
About this episode

My life-changing annual event, The Summit of Greatness, is happening September 12 & 13, 2025. Get your ticket today!

Check out the full episode: greatness.lnk.to/1115

"We live with ourselves. That person can do that one thing and it can be very hurtful, but we may not see them again. But when we make our mistake, we have to live with that. We have to face ourselves in the mirror." - Stephan Speaks

Stephan Speaks gets brutally honest about why self-forgiveness feels impossible for most of us. While others can hurt us once and disappear from our lives, our own mistakes follow us everywhere - stacking up in our minds, replaying in quiet moments, creating a prison we can't escape. He reveals how we end up carrying multiple offenses against ourselves while that person who wronged us gets the luxury of just one. But here's where it gets fascinating: Stephan shares a specific letter-writing process that cuts through years of self-punishment, and Lewis actually gets him to commit to using it on something he's been avoiding in his own life.

What makes this conversation different is how practical it gets. This isn't about positive thinking or generic self-help mantras. Stephan breaks down exactly why voice memos and texts don't work for deep healing, why you can't skip steps in the process, and how your subconscious sabotages quick-fix attempts at forgiveness. He walks through the psychology behind why handwritten letters access parts of our emotional processing that digital shortcuts simply can't reach. You'll walk away with a clear roadmap for finally releasing the weight you've been carrying.

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