logo
episode-header-image
Aug 2023
15m 1s

114. Avoid the Gottmans’ 4 Horsemen and ...

Amber Dalsin
About this episode

Do you and your partner struggle to communicate? Have you ever experienced…

- Things you thought were small issues turn into a blowout fight.

- Your partner tells you they feel criticized.

- You see your partner walk away in conflict and it makes you upset.

        - You’re unsure what is going wrong and why you are fighting so much with the person you love.


In this episode, we are going to cover what Drs. John and Julie Gottman studied relationships and identified what they call the Four Horsemen of conflict discussions. When these communications styles make up the majority of interactions, the relationship breaks down. When couples come to me for communication issues, most of the time these four communication patterns are dominating their communication and their relationship.  

Link to Communication Cures

https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/communication-cures

 


This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Up next
Nov 2024
124. 3 Reasons You’re Having Conflicts, Not Peaceful Conversations
When couples start therapy they often tell me they want to communicate better, have tools for how to communicate, want the relationship to be more peaceful, and want a level of respect and kindness. Do you relate? I know I want a peaceful relationship with respect and kindness. W ... Show More
11m 54s
Jul 2024
123. Sweet Nothings Examples
A cheat sheet of loving phrases. In this podcast, I cover sweet-nothing examples. I give you a list of 21 sweet nothings you could try to see if they work for you. This podcast is for informational purposes only. 
9m 29s
Jan 2024
122. 4 sticking points to overcome to be a better communicator
If you and your partner want to improve your communication in 2024, here are 4 common sticking points that you will need to overcome. January is a time of New Year resolutions, commitments to do better, and learning something new. Here are 4 things to consider if you and your par ... Show More
16m 2s
Recommended Episodes
May 2023
#48 - The Art of Nonviolent Communication: Building empathy & connection
Having trouble communicating with your loved ones? Are you tired of feeling misunderstood? Do you ever feel like your words get lost in translation? This week, Ro and Viv explore the world of nonviolent communication (NVC), a method of communication that promotes understanding, e ... Show More
49m 1s
Jul 2024
What Women Truly WANT in a Marriage, Especially the Longer They’re Together: Episode 354
It’s the age old question “what do women want” in a marriage? If having a successful marriage is directly related to meeting each other’s needs then it’s quite important to know what those needs are. This episode will be a two part series that will follow up with exploring the ne ... Show More
22m 10s
May 21
297: Don't Let These Silent Killers Destroy Your Relationship
What REALLY kills relationships? We often think it’s huge differences in personality or values that cause break ups, but just as often it’s the small, subtle, repeated behaviours that lead to relationships ending. From the "Four Horsemen" of relationship conflict to the resentmen ... Show More
1h 19m
Apr 23
293: You Know They’re Wrong for You… So Why Can’t You Let Them Go?
Are you stuck in a cycle of tolerating disrespect or avoiding tough conversations? In this episode of Love Life, Matthew, Audrey, and Stephen dive into why so many of us stay in challenging relationships—whether romantic, familial, or platonic—for far too long, and how to reclaim ... Show More
1h 5m
Jul 2
303: How To Know If They Have Relationship Potential In Early Dating (Feat. Dr. Morgan Cutlip)
In this episode, Matthew sits down with Dr. Morgan Cutlip (@drmorgancutlip) to explore the real work of modern relationships. Whether you’re dating, married, or somewhere in between, this is a must-listen for anyone who wants to learn how to communicate their needs, set boundarie ... Show More
1h 14m
Jul 2024
Ep. 247 - The #1 tool to save your relationship
Are you and your partner struggling to make things work but deeply desire to stay together? This episode introduces the transformative tool called the Feedback Wheel, where thought and mindset work are applied within the context of a relationship. Created by Terrence Real's groun ... Show More
24m 25s
Apr 15
210. Relationship Repair: Resentment, Reaction, and Real Connection
In this episode of Spiritually Hungry Podcast, we explore why addressing issues—one at a time—is essential to building the relationship you truly want. We discuss how unspoken micro-resentments can quietly erode connection, the spiritual power of restriction to transform conflict ... Show More
39m 39s
Aug 2024
Asking for Attention
Series of Extras! In this episode we need to talk about do we really need to ask fro “ehtmam: or not. If yes, then how? We will talk about the 5 love languages and how important they are in our relationships in life. How important it is to communicate what we feel with our peopl ... Show More
11m 13s
Jan 2025
Individuation Is The Key To Your Relationship
In today's episode Colter, Lauren and Cayla explore the relationship between emotional needs and actionable requests in the context of individuation. They discuss how recognizing individual differences and pairing emotional needs with specific requests can enhance communication a ... Show More
46m 53s
Feb 2025
Sunday Pick: How to find connection – and love – in everyday life (w/ Barbara Fredrickson) | How to Be a Better Human
Romantic love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be – at least that’s one way positive psychologist Barbara Fredrickson puts it. Barbara’s decades of research suggest that emotions outside of our narrow definition of love are just as important to our well-being. In this episode, Barbar ... Show More
33m 19s