logo
episode-header-image
Mar 2024
1h 5m

Episode 397 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Fake ...

DR. HENRY CLOUD
About this episode

While of course being your authentic self is always a good idea, "faking it" can be an incredible tool. Dr. Henry Cloud talks about the psychological power that comes from faking it till you make it. Whenever a new task is put in front of you that you don’t know exactly how to do, this technique can be used to give you the confidence you’ll need to learn. When we are put in a position where we don’t have the requisite understanding or skills to perform, the process of faking it till you make it can help you avoid the feeling of being an imposter. Imposter syndrome can make you feel like a fraud. There are two components to faking it till you make it. One is that ALL learning is faking it till you make it. You don’t know what you’re doing until you’re doing it, and the process is inextricably linked to learning. The second component is that you actually have to do something to fake it till you make it! Rather than sitting around pondering and wondering whether you can do something, faking it till you make it gets you going on the path! Growth is not easy, but it’s really hard if you need to be perfect and all-knowing in order to get started. Fake it till you make it and you are on the right track to getting a new ability.

Lori needs help managing her relationship with her her ex-husband. They are still financially intertwined, but she might also still have feelings of love keeping her stuck.

Write-in Question: I have been surprised recently to discover that my husband and I have very different positions on a major event that has been occurring in the global news. Through deeper discussion, it's clear that his values haven't changed, and I don't believe mine have either. We have always agreed on nearly everything when it comes to politics and ideals, and otherwise we still do. I want to have healthy separateness, but it is a strange feeling to disagree about something that we both have such strong conviction towards. How important is it for married people to have the same position about big topics like this?

Tasha wants to stop comparing herself to others. She can see that it's coming from a need to control her world that might stem from earlier trauma.

 

Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?

Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain.  Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud.

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

 

Up next
May 20
Episode 428 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Keys to Emotional Regulation
Dr. Cloud explores emotional regulation and the skill of "right-sizing" your responses to life events - learning when you're overreacting to minor problems or minimizing serious issues. He answers a written question about dealing with a narcissistic sister who escalates and sprea ... Show More
46m 33s
May 13
Episode 427 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Managing Attention in a Distracted World
Dr. Henry Cloud explores the critical role of attention in achieving life goals. He breaks down how executive functions of the brain—including attending to what's relevant, inhibiting distractions, and maintaining working memory—affect our ability to accomplish tasks ranging from ... Show More
50m 22s
May 6
Episode 426 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Breaking Free from Snap Judgments
In this episode of the show, Dr. Henry Cloud discusses the importance of developing a curious mindset rather than a critical one. He explains how snap judgments and rigid thinking limit our options and relationships, while seeking to understand others creates better connections. ... Show More
1h 1m
Recommended Episodes
Oct 2021
71. It’s Okay to Not Be Okay, Ft. Dr. Henry Cloud
How often do you feel like you have to hide how you actually feel, or who you truly are? If your answer is “too much”, then today is the day to start flipping that script! In this special episode from our 2021 virtual Love Life Women’s Conference, the girls ask Joyce and Boundari ... Show More
38m 46s
Jul 2023
190 // My Most Vulnerable Share: My Struggles With Fear, Insecurity & People Pleasing, How I've Been Hiding Parts of Myself, My Deconstruction of Not Being "Christian Enough" and My Commitment to You
Hey friend, today’s episode is 100% the most vulnerable episode I’ve ever shared.  On a recent call with my business mentor, I realized I’ve really been holding back.  I’m moving into a new depth of self honesty, authenticity, and evolution & part of that process means I’m gettin ... Show More
24m 39s
Feb 2021
The Holistic Psychologist (Dr. Nicole LePera) - A Masterclass on How to Heal Your Past and Do the Inner Work
I bet many of you reading this are feeling stuck in some way. Whether it’s in your business, in your personal life or your relationships I am sure you’ve been wanting to finally break free from your past and heal. I am going to share a little secret with you. Even though your lif ... Show More
1h 12m
Sep 2020
Ep 134: How to Stop Insecurities From Hurting Your Relationship
If you have insecurities that come up and cause you to push your partner away or cling too closely, this is for you. Maybe you find that you are acting out in petty ways – like, starting fights. Or maybe it comes out in jealousy. When you get insecure, you are taken out of the pr ... Show More
35m 10s
Jul 2023
How To Discover Your Authentic Self
On today’s episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast, I’ll show you what it means to really go back into your authentic selfs state of being, and I’ll explain how to make sure you never have to let go of them again. What’s it mean to be your authentic self? It means that your thought ... Show More
20m 34s
Apr 2022
Great Relationships Start with You & Hard Truths – Gary John Bishop : 932
WE APPRECIATE OUR PARTNERS. CHECK THEM OUT!Nature’s Nootropic: https://trukava.com, use code DAVE15 to get 15% offNAD+ for Brain Health: https://innovativemedicine.com/DAVE and save 20%Support Immune & Digestive Health: https://justthrivehealth.com, use code ASPREY to get 15% off ... Show More
1h 6m
May 2021
How to Understand Your Trauma & Relationships w/Dr. Shefali EP 1110
“True empowerment is to take all power back, including blame.”Today's guest is Dr. Shefali, who received her doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University. She is an expert in family dynamics and personal development. Dr. Shefali’s ground-breaking approach to mindful ... Show More
1h 41m
May 2022
#494: How To Trust That What You Are Doing Is Working
You're doing better than you think you are. But often our brains convince us that we're "behind," not doing enough or that we're not making progress fast enough. This episode explores exactly how to believe that you are indeed right where you need to be and that everything is wor ... Show More
42m 25s
Oct 2023
200 | From Worrying if They're Upset With You to Deep Trust in Your Relationships: 1 Communication Tool For Deeper Connection & Authenticity That Will Also Grow Your Self Love & Self Esteem Too (esp
Hey love, in today’s episode we’re going deep.  This is an episode especially for those of you who worry about other people secretly being upset with you.  This episode will shed some light and give you practical tools to help you break out of that cycle and into deeper openness ... Show More
18m 49s
Dec 2021
Stop Losing Yourself in Relationships with Dr. Shefali
Let’s talk about love, my friend. And while we’re at it, let’s revolutionize the way we look at marriage, divorce and parenthood! In today’s Big Talk with Dr. Shefali, you’ll learn a radical new way to look at these institutions. Dr. Shefali is here to bust through the myths that ... Show More
56m 48s