logo
episode-header-image
Feb 2024
22m 27s

379 SelfWork: What's the Better Way of S...

MARGARET ROBINSON RUTHERFORD PHD
About this episode

“My feelings were hurt” is a phrase very commonly used. We even use it when we talk to our children.  “Did someone hurt your feelings?” It’s kind of interesting when you think about it. Instead of asking, “What happened and how are you feeling about it?” and helping your child sort out their exact feelings, we lump them all together.

Many of us carry that lumpy mess of “hurt feelings” into our adulthood. Instead of saying, for example, “I want you to ask me what I think, or what I’d like, instead of assuming you know," you might say,  “You hurt my feelings all the time and you don’t even realize it.”

So today we'll focus on how to clean up those " hurt feelings" and express them in much clearer, healthier ways - that hopefully can lead to much better results.

Advertiser's Link: 

Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Our Sponsors: * Check out Calm: https://calm.com/SELFWORK * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Up next
Nov 21
473 SelfWork: Blame, Perfectly Hidden Depression, and Bipolar Disorder
<p>Today we have a grab bag of questions and comments, with the topics being blame, perfectly hidden depression, and bipolar disorder.</p><p>The first is from a mom who lived through her daughter and yet also didn’t offer safety or a sense of security – even with the basic things ... Show More
24m 46s
Nov 14
472 SelfWork: What To Do After You've Lost Your Shit
<p>Anger has a place. It’s an important emotion to feel and know how to handle. It lets you know a boundary and maybe a very important boundary, value, or expectation has been ignored or crossed or threatened in a very real way. But it’s a skill then to think through what you’re ... Show More
23m 33s
Nov 7
471 SelfWork: When Sexual Abuse Tears A Family Apart
<p>We’re talking about sexual abuse on SelfWork today – so please, if you have sexual abuse in your history or have somehow been affected by it, listen carefully.</p><p>Sometimes I receive a voicemail where I can hear the stark heartache that’s behind the message. And this week w ... Show More
24m 1s
Recommended Episodes
Jun 2023
(289) Émotion ou Jugement masqué ?
<p>“Je me sens trahi·e / blessé·e / abandonné·e / humilié·e…”. Ces façons dont vous vous sentez… <strong>ne sont pas des émotions.</strong> Vous avez l’impression d’exprimer votre ressenti émotionnel mais c’est tout autre chose que vous mettez en lumière.</p><p><br></p><p>C’est B ... Show More
19m 53s
Aug 2022
La Résilience émotionnelle (Rediffusion)
<p>Est-ce qu’il vous arrive d’être envahi·e par des émotions dont vous n’arrivez pas à vous débarrasser ensuite, malgré vos efforts pour “passer à autre chose” ? Pas de panique, c’est simplement que vous avez besoin de développer votre résilience émotionnelle. Dans cet épisode, j ... Show More
23m 9s
Aug 2021
#79: Dealing with Overwhelm via Self-Talk
<p>If you Google this topic, you'll find plenty of articles telling you how to check more things off your to-do list or organizing your planner for more productivity, and all types of advice which sure, could be helpful. BUT, they don't address the mindset behind overwhelm and th ... Show More
31m 44s
Dec 2019
(128) Incarner ses émotions
<p>L’ «&nbsp;embodiment&nbsp;», ou incarnation des émotions, est une technique de gestion de nos émotions qui permet d'apprendre à mieux (re)connaître notre ressenti physique lorsqu’on ressent une émotion, qu'elle soit positive ou négative. C'est une technique simple et extrêmeme ... Show More
24m 51s
Sep 2023
(297) L’Indépendance émotionnelle : questions-réponses
<p>Vous avez l’impression d’<strong>absorber les émotions des autres</strong> et ça vous pèse au quotidien ? Je vous comprends. Je me suis longtemps sentie comme une éponge émotionnelle, sans pouvoir y faire quoi que ce soit. Tout a changé quand j’ai découvert<strong> le principe ... Show More
21m 32s
Aug 2022
5 Ways To Use Your Emotions For Creative Success | Susan Cain
In today’s episode, we cover the value of sorrow and longing with Susan Cain. Susan is the author of the Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, and her newest book Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole is focused on sorrow and longing as in ... Show More
1h 7m
Nov 2020
ep.36 "How Do You Cope With Feeling Lonely?" | AKA
Intro with thoughts about Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard & his relapse. Audience questions: Hi Kati. How to deal with being a later-in-life virgin? I'm 21 and I'm getting to be requested to talk about it in therapy. It all started when we were talking about my poor interperson ... Show More
1h 29m
Feb 2023
189. This Is Why People Get Frustrated With "iNneR WOrK"
Let me know if this sounds familiar at all: “Why am I STILL getting triggered by this? Why am I still responding this way? I DID this work already.” Mmm…did you, though? Or did you just listen to a podcast episode about it and call it a day? Inner work takes TIME and PATIENCE…and ... Show More
19m 33s
Apr 2017
(002) Les émotions sont inoffensives
Les émotions sont un peu la météo de notre vie ; ce sont elles qui font que nos journées nous semblent bonnes ou mauvaises. Dans cet épisode de Change ma vie, on va explorer avec précision ce moteur des émotions : pourquoi il faut se méfier (un peu) des émotions positives et comm ... Show More
10m 45s