logo
episode-header-image
Jun 2023
33m 29s

295. The Parent Blame Boomerang

KARA LOEWENTHEIL
About this episode

The way you think about how you were raised, especially if there were certain things you didn’t like about your caregivers’ behavior, can have a big impact on you in adulthood — whether you’re a parent or not. This week on the podcast I discuss the unintended consequences of basing your self-worth as a parent on being different than your parents were, how demonizing characteristics of your caregivers inevitably leads you to demonizing parts of yourself, and what the underlying solution is to these problems.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/295

Mentioned in this episode:

Struggling to make progress on your goals or facing anxiety in relationships? It could be because your brain has wrongly connected your survival to things that aren't actually life-threatening. In this new free training, Safety is an Inside Job, I’m teaching you how to disconnect those patterns and create lasting change. Join me on May 14 for this interactive session—sign up here: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/safety-training

Safety Training

Up next
Today
404. Creativity, Positive Thinking, and Self-Love: Takeaways From Clutch College Live Online (Greatest Hits)
In this week's Greatest Hits episode, I’m re-sharing 3 powerful takeaways from a recent event that have the potential to shift how you view yourself and your life. You'll hear how you have more creative potential than you realize, why resisting reality is the most painful thing y ... Show More
23m 19s
Jul 8
403. Coaching Hotline: Struggle Bus & Job Confusion
In this weeks Coaching Hotline episode, I’m answering two listener questions that tackle different sides of mental resistance. The first deals with whether you should do thought work when you're struggling emotionally—what I call being on the "struggle bus." The second addresses ... Show More
14m 6s
Jul 3
402. The Power of Being Wrong, Why Your Goals May Be Closer Than You Think, and Other Takeaways From Clutch College Live (Greatest Hits)
Do you ever feel stuck on your journey, unsure of how far you’ve really come? In this episode, I’m sharing three key takeaways from a previous live event, starting with why it’s so hard to accurately assess where you are—and how that holds you back from making real progress.We’ll ... Show More
17m 40s
Recommended Episodes
Apr 2021
#6: Release GUILT About Blaming Your Parents For Your Childhood Issues
Do you feel guilty or "ungrateful" when you think about how your parents contributed to your childhood issues?   You're not alone, this feeling can prevent you from acknowledging what really happened to you! In today's episode I explain what's actually happening un ... Show More
21m 6s
May 2018
How to Move On from Your Imperfect Childhood
No one emerges from childhood unscathed, says psychiatrist and author of Permission to Parent Robin Berman. Her great talent lies in helping people come to terms with their imperfect past and move beyond any self-limiting beliefs, attachment issues, or disappointments they collec ... Show More
39m 38s
May 2022
155. Re-parenting, Gentle Parenting with Leslie of Latinx Parenting
Chances are you’ve likely heard about the new trend in parenting- gentle parenting. While it may sound permissive or ineffective, if you really look into it, it’s the natural response to the inherent violence that has been culturally accepted in previous generations. In the lates ... Show More
42m 44s
Dec 2022
It Is Not Your Fault
Your childhood experiences, whether good or bad, have a lasting impact on you. It's essential to recognize that any trauma or adversity experienced during childhood is not your fault. These experiences are often the result of factors outside of your control. However, it's also im ... Show More
19m 28s
May 2023
How Your Childhood Affects Your Adult Life
Childhood experiences can have a significant impact on our lives as adults. The relationships we form, the challenges we face, and the environments we grow up in can shape our beliefs, behaviors, and emotional responses. Positive childhood experiences such as a nurturing family, ... Show More
23m 33s
Nov 2023
How To Be A Better Parent: A Primer On Mindful Parenting
I love being a dad. It’s been the greatest gift of my lifetime. But too often I grade myself in comparison to others and set myself against an idealized projection of what I imagine a perfect dad to be. While I do my best not to repeat yesterday’s mistakes and interrupt the misgu ... Show More
1h 11m
Jul 2019
6 Reasons Why We Need to Develop the Emotional Skills Our Parents Never Had
Let’s be honest, our parents aren’t perfect and that’s okay. Neither are we. It’s unrealistic to think they’re the only ones responsible for our emotional development. Remember, everyone is doing the best with the skills they currently have. In today’s episode, I show you why it’ ... Show More
26m 15s
Jun 2021
237 SelfWork: Three Daddy Issues (Actually Parent Issues) and How to Heal
Today on SelfWork we’re going to be talking about what have been called “daddy issues” as Father’s Day is upcoming and many children will be honoring their fathers who were there for them and with whom they enjoyed an emotionally safe and stable relationship. We'll talk about ... Show More
30m 3s
Oct 2023
AP 533: Perfectionism in Parenting Teens: How to Help your Perfectionist Kids, Better Handle your Own Mistakes, and What to do When your Kids Notice That you’re Human || co-interview with Heather Fraz
This week I have a co-interview between me and Heather Frazier, host of the Pivot Parenting podcast. First, I share how I've seen perfectionism affect my experience raising children and also as a middle school teacher. Then, Heather teaches how we can better handle when our teens ... Show More
57 m