logo
episode-header-image
Apr 2023
23m 52s

#64: The Role of Criticism in Anxious-Av...

Stephanie Rigg
About this episode

Today's episode is all about the role of criticism in anxious-avoidant dynamics. Both anxious and avoidant people have been known to deploy criticism as a strategy to manage fears and self-protect in relationships - but this will often look different (and be motivated by different drives) on each side.  One thing's for sure: no matter how it shows up, criticism is really harmful to relationships - so if this is something you struggle with, you've come to the right place. 

We'll cover:

  • how anxiously attached people use criticism as a protest behaviour 
  • criticism as a way to convey our hurt
  • how avoidant people use criticism to sow seeds of doubt and create distance
  • how to identify the needs underlying our criticism so we can communicate in a healthier way

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here

Join the 28-day Secure Self Challenge! Starts 10 Feb 2025

Additional Resources



Up next
Oct 7
#209: 5 Green Flags in Early Dating
When you’re anxiously attached, it’s easy to fixate on red flags and warning signs — scanning for danger in the early stages of dating. But if you’re always looking for what’s wrong, you might miss the important signs that you’re with someone who’s actually safe, caring, and alig ... Show More
16m 2s
Sep 30
#208: Anxious Attachment & the Fear of Infidelity
Fear of infidelity can be one of the most overwhelming and destabilising experiences for someone with anxious attachment. Even when there’s no evidence a partner is being unfaithful, the possibility alone can trigger deep anxiety, hypervigilance, and constant worry.In this episod ... Show More
20m 50s
Sep 23
#207: Why You Feel Secure When You’re Single (But Anxious When You Start Dating)
If you’ve ever felt calm and confident when you’re single, only to find yourself spiralling into anxiety the moment you start dating, there’s a good reason for it.In this episode, I share why this shift happens — and why it’s completely normal if you have an anxious attachment st ... Show More
13m 3s
Recommended Episodes
Jun 2021
How to Deal With Criticism From Family
Criticism comes in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it’s positive, sometimes it’s hurtful, and more often than not it’s unwarranted lol. But criticism from loved ones hits different as it adds layer upon layer of emotional attachment. Tune in to today’s episode as we unpack how we ... Show More
47m 18s
Nov 2023
431: Dealing With Criticism
Criticism is something that will likely come up in relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners. How we deal with criticism is an important part of maintaining healthy relationships. Listen to today's show to learn how to deal with criticism much more! In this episod ... Show More
52m 32s
Mar 2022
30. Handling Criticism as an HSP
Our heart starts racing, our stomach drops to the floor, and we feel under attack. Even if you’re not an HSP, criticism is painful to receive and, in all honesty, it can bring out our Hyper Sensitivity and anger. Sometimes the feedback and criticism is there to genuinely help us ... Show More
21m 28s
Jul 2022
criticism
hello- today we’re talking about criticism. i think criticism is so important in all of its forms. i experience criticism a lot, and have actually learned to appreciate it. it’s possible to benefit rather than suffer from criticism. i share what i see as the distinction between h ... Show More
47m 55s
Mar 2020
Criticism - How to deal with it?
So many of you receive criticism on a daily basis, but how do you deal with it? Criticism might just be the most beautiful thing that happened to us, but we need to understand how to alter our perspective and attitude in order to open up our world to a new way of doing things. In ... Show More
10m 33s
Dec 2022
Responding to Criticism, and Accepting The Way Things Are
Criticism is an unavoidable part of life. But even though we’re all going to be criticized from time to time, many of us spend much of our lives living in fear of criticism. Then, on the flip side, we’re all critics ourselves. We’ve all been in situations that aren’t quite what w ... Show More
53m 14s
Nov 2023
This is Why You Can’t Try To Avoid Criticism | Ask DS
Nobody wants to be criticized. It doesn’t feel good when people judge what you’ve done. We want the right people to like us, we want all people to like us. We want to be accepted, appreciated, and celebrated. So we try to be like other people, like the people that everyone likes. ... Show More
20m 55s
Listen to millions of songs and podcasts on Anghami