logo
episode-header-image
Apr 2023
23m 52s

#64: The Role of Criticism in Anxious-Av...

Stephanie Rigg
About this episode

Today's episode is all about the role of criticism in anxious-avoidant dynamics. Both anxious and avoidant people have been known to deploy criticism as a strategy to manage fears and self-protect in relationships - but this will often look different (and be motivated by different drives) on each side.  One thing's for sure: no matter how it shows up, criticism is really harmful to relationships - so if this is something you struggle with, you've come to the right place. 

We'll cover:

  • how anxiously attached people use criticism as a protest behaviour 
  • criticism as a way to convey our hurt
  • how avoidant people use criticism to sow seeds of doubt and create distance
  • how to identify the needs underlying our criticism so we can communicate in a healthier way

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Up next
Apr 16
#250: Are They Avoidant or Just Not That Into You? (Ask Steph)
Understanding Your Avoidant Partner: New CourseMany people find themselves trying to decode confusing or inconsistent behaviour, wondering whether it reflects avoidant attachment or a lack of interest — but in early dating, a lack of clarity is often the clearest signal in itself ... Show More
12m 13s
Apr 14
#249: The First 30 Days After a Breakup
In today’s episode, I’m walking you through how to navigate the first 30 days after a breakup in a way that is supportive, grounded, and deeply healing.This initial period can feel overwhelming — full of grief, anxiety, confusion, and emotional swings. And while it’s natural to b ... Show More
18m 45s
Apr 9
#248: How to Cope With My Ex Being Happy in a New Relationship (Ask Steph)
In today’s Ask Steph episode, we’re talking about how to cope when your ex seems to have moved on soon after your break-up — and is now in a new relationship that appears to be working.This can be an incredibly painful experience, especially if you’re still grieving the relations ... Show More
11m 47s
Recommended Episodes
Jun 2021
How to Deal With Criticism From Family
Criticism comes in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it’s positive, sometimes it’s hurtful, and more often than not it’s unwarranted lol. But criticism from loved ones hits different as it adds layer upon layer of emotional attachment. Tune in to today’s episode as we unpack how we ... Show More
47m 18s
Nov 2023
431: Dealing With Criticism
Criticism is something that will likely come up in relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners. How we deal with criticism is an important part of maintaining healthy relationships. Listen to today's show to learn how to deal with criticism much more! In this episod ... Show More
52m 32s
Mar 2022
30. Handling Criticism as an HSP
<p>Our heart starts racing, our stomach drops to the floor, and we feel under attack. Even if you’re not an HSP, criticism is painful to receive and, in all honesty, it can bring out our Hyper Sensitivity and anger.</p> <p><br></p> <p>Sometimes the feedback and criticism is there ... Show More
21m 28s
Jul 2022
criticism
hello- today we’re talking about criticism. i think criticism is so important in all of its forms. i experience criticism a lot, and have actually learned to appreciate it. it’s possible to benefit rather than suffer from criticism. i share what i see as the distinction between h ... Show More
45m 55s
Dec 2022
Responding to Criticism, and Accepting The Way Things Are
Criticism is an unavoidable part of life. But even though we’re all going to be criticized from time to time, many of us spend much of our lives living in fear of criticism. Then, on the flip side, we’re all critics ourselves. We’ve all been in situations that aren’t quite what w ... Show More
53m 14s
Nov 2023
This is Why You Can’t Try To Avoid Criticism | Ask DS
tail spinning
20m 55s
Listen to millions of songs and podcasts on Anghami