logo
episode-header-image
Jan 2023
10m 45s

#43: "How do I navigate the tendency to ...

Stephanie Rigg
About this episode

In this week's Q&A episode, I'm answering a community question about the (very common) tendency to lose oneself as an anxiously attached person in relationships. I'll talk through why this happens so often and easily, and what you can do to counter it. 

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here

Join the 28-day Secure Self Challenge! Starts 10 Feb 2025

Additional Resources



Up next
Today
#203: How to Soften Your Inner Critic and Forgive Yourself for the Past
If you struggle with a harsh inner critic — whether it shows up as perfectionism, relentless self-judgment, or shame about the past — this episode is for you. We’re unpacking the roots of that punitive inner voice, how it tries to keep us safe, and the real cost it can have on ou ... Show More
17 m
Aug 19
#202: How Attachment Styles Influence Friendship Dynamics
We don’t often talk about how attachment dynamics play out in friendships — but if you’ve ever felt anxious, hurt, or overly invested in a friend who seemed to be pulling away, you’ll know just how triggering these relationships can be.While attachment theory was originally devel ... Show More
21m 50s
Aug 12
#201: How to Actually Heal from a Breakup
If you’re someone with anxious attachment patterns, the ending of a relationship can bring up some of your deepest wounds: feelings of abandonment, not being enough, being too much, or fears that you’ll never find love again.In today’s episode, I’m offering a more grounded, inten ... Show More
22m 7s
Recommended Episodes
Nov 2023
situationships, anxious attachment and my red flags
EP61 - let's get juicy...in this episode, i wanted to share some of my recent realisations on love, relationships and all things anxious attachment. i have learnt a lot about myself and what i would want in a relationship easily so also run through a big list of my green and red ... Show More
1h 1m
Jun 2024
463: Navigating Relationship Anxiety
It's normal to feel anxious about things going on in your relationship at one point or another. However, this anxiety can sometimes be overwhelming and difficult. You don't have to be at the mercy of your anxious feelings. Listen to today's show to learn tools to navigate your re ... Show More
43m 15s
Oct 2023
Ep. 39 AVOIDING ATTACHMENT: How to Stay In Your Power While in a Relationship
We all know what if feels like to lose ourselves a little bit when getting into a new fling/relationship... but it doesn't have to be that way! In this episode, we chat about how we hold our power when in the dating scene and how to avoid becoming overly attached to the perso ... Show More
33m 19s
May 2023
ending your self-destructive patterns of relationship sabotage once and for all
In this episode, we tackle the complexities of emotion dysregulation and its deep-rooted ties to childhood emotional neglect and abuse. Many of us who grew up in chaotic or neglectful environments find ourselves craving love and connection yet struggling to maintain healthy, secu ... Show More
58m 15s
Oct 2023
why you keep falling in limerence with unavailable people who break your heart [preview]
In this Premium Submarine exclusive, you’ll hear a preview of my response to a voicemail from a listener who is stumped as to why she continues to fall into the repetitive pattern of falling fast for unavailable partners. Questions answered + topics discussed in this episode: ✧ W ... Show More
11m 35s
Aug 2021
#24: 3 Reasons Why You Lose Yourself in Relationships
Some people say that you can't have everything in this world - Like money, independence AND love? But in this episode, we're debunking that myth. If you're a successful high achiever who feels in control and confident when you're single but totally lose yourse ... Show More
17m 11s
Oct 2023
(Matt Monday): How to Stop Addictive Thoughts About Someone Bad for You
“How can I stop addictive thoughts about someone who’s wrong for me?” When we really like someone but know there are signs of problems, we’ll often overvalue them for their charisma and charm . . . and set ourselves up for massive future heartbreak.  If you find yourself getting ... Show More
15m 44s
Oct 2023
The power of being direct and communicative (stop playing games)
In this episode, I talk about the power of being direct, forward and just communicating versus running from your problems - especially when it comes to dating. Sometimes I've been anxious or afraid to speak my truth because of the fear of messing things up. But, as of recently, t ... Show More
33m 51s
Sep 2022
(Rewind): Full of Regret for Screwing Up Your Relationship? Watch This...
Ever sat ruminating obsessively over something you could have or should have done differently in your relationship? Something you said, something you did, or something you wish you’d have done more? It’s a dreadful, sickening feeling. I know because I’ve felt it. It leads to regr ... Show More
8m 51s
Jun 2023
217: Responding To YOUR Biggest Dating Mistakes...
Have you noticed a recurring pattern in your dating life? Or have you maybe repeated certain mistakes in relationships that you can't seem to stop doing? In this episode, Matthew, Stephen, Jameson and Audrey respond to YOUR replies on your repeated dating struggles and talk about ... Show More
34m 46s