logo
episode-header-image
Jan 2023
10m 45s

#43: "How do I navigate the tendency to ...

Stephanie Rigg
About this episode

In this week's Q&A episode, I'm answering a community question about the (very common) tendency to lose oneself as an anxiously attached person in relationships. I'll talk through why this happens so often and easily, and what you can do to counter it. 

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here

Join the 28-day Secure Self Challenge! Starts 10 Feb 2025

Additional Resources



Up next
Jul 8
#196: How & Why We Self-Abandon in Relationships
If you deeply fear abandonment, there’s a good chance you’ve also been abandoning yourself in quiet, subtle, and painful ways.In today’s episode, we’re exploring how fear of abandonment often leads to patterns of self-abandonment — especially for those with anxious attachment. We ... Show More
19m 8s
Jul 1
#195: Two Simple Principles for a Healthy Nervous System
In today’s episode, I’m sharing two key principles for building a truly resilient, balanced nervous system — and why one without the other tends to keep us stuck.We’ll explore:Why nervous system health isn’t about being relaxed all the timeThe importance of deliberate stress expo ... Show More
11m 4s
Jun 24
#194: When You Don’t Feel Like a Priority in Your Relationship
If you often feel like you're fighting for a place in your partner’s life—like you’re always waiting to be chosen or noticed—this episode is for you.This is one of the most common experiences for people with anxious attachment: that persistent, painful feeling of being sidelined. ... Show More
18m 49s
Recommended Episodes
Nov 2023
situationships, anxious attachment and my red flags
EP61 - let's get juicy...in this episode, i wanted to share some of my recent realisations on love, relationships and all things anxious attachment. i have learnt a lot about myself and what i would want in a relationship easily so also run through a big list of my green and red ... Show More
1h 1m
Jun 2024
463: Navigating Relationship Anxiety
It's normal to feel anxious about things going on in your relationship at one point or another. However, this anxiety can sometimes be overwhelming and difficult. You don't have to be at the mercy of your anxious feelings. Listen to today's show to learn tools to navigate your re ... Show More
43m 15s
Oct 2023
Ep. 39 AVOIDING ATTACHMENT: How to Stay In Your Power While in a Relationship
We all know what if feels like to lose ourselves a little bit when getting into a new fling/relationship... but it doesn't have to be that way! In this episode, we chat about how we hold our power when in the dating scene and how to avoid becoming overly attached to the perso ... Show More
33m 19s
May 2023
ending your self-destructive patterns of relationship sabotage once and for all
In this episode, we tackle the complexities of emotion dysregulation and its deep-rooted ties to childhood emotional neglect and abuse. Many of us who grew up in chaotic or neglectful environments find ourselves craving love and connection yet struggling to maintain healthy, secu ... Show More
58m 15s
Oct 2023
why you keep falling in limerence with unavailable people who break your heart [preview]
In this Premium Submarine exclusive, you’ll hear a preview of my response to a voicemail from a listener who is stumped as to why she continues to fall into the repetitive pattern of falling fast for unavailable partners. Questions answered + topics discussed in this episode: ✧ W ... Show More
11m 35s
Aug 2021
#24: 3 Reasons Why You Lose Yourself in Relationships
Some people say that you can't have everything in this world - Like money, independence AND love? But in this episode, we're debunking that myth. If you're a successful high achiever who feels in control and confident when you're single but totally lose yourse ... Show More
17m 11s
Oct 2023
(Matt Monday): How to Stop Addictive Thoughts About Someone Bad for You
“How can I stop addictive thoughts about someone who’s wrong for me?” When we really like someone but know there are signs of problems, we’ll often overvalue them for their charisma and charm . . . and set ourselves up for massive future heartbreak.  If you find yourself getting ... Show More
15m 44s
Oct 2023
The power of being direct and communicative (stop playing games)
In this episode, I talk about the power of being direct, forward and just communicating versus running from your problems - especially when it comes to dating. Sometimes I've been anxious or afraid to speak my truth because of the fear of messing things up. But, as of recently, t ... Show More
33m 51s
Sep 2022
(Rewind): Full of Regret for Screwing Up Your Relationship? Watch This...
Ever sat ruminating obsessively over something you could have or should have done differently in your relationship? Something you said, something you did, or something you wish you’d have done more? It’s a dreadful, sickening feeling. I know because I’ve felt it. It leads to regr ... Show More
8m 51s
Jun 2023
217: Responding To YOUR Biggest Dating Mistakes...
Have you noticed a recurring pattern in your dating life? Or have you maybe repeated certain mistakes in relationships that you can't seem to stop doing? In this episode, Matthew, Stephen, Jameson and Audrey respond to YOUR replies on your repeated dating struggles and talk about ... Show More
34m 46s