logo
episode-header-image
Dec 2022
41m 13s

How to Hold a Grudge

Ten Percent Happier
About this episode

Maybe you want to dismiss your grudges, like they’re petty incidents. Or maybe you hold them tightly, and wear them like badges of honor. Either way, we have them. And we’re taking the view that there’s more going on with our grudges than we think. 


Today, we talk with Sophie Hannah, author of "How to Hold a Grudge," and meditation teacher Matthew Hepburn, for perspective on what triggers our grudges in the first place – and how holding them can actually be good for us. We also listen to some of your grudge stories. 


Full show notes available here: https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/grudges

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Up next
Dec 2022
Why the Tears?
Some of us are big criers, some of us are not. But does it really matter? Today: Two tears experts who have experimented with this idea in the lab and in real life let us in on their insights. We hear from Reverend Benjamin Perry, author of the forthcoming book Cry Baby, who taug ... Show More
35m 24s
Dec 2022
Coco’s Story: Ending Cycles of Harm
Today: a story about defusing conflict when emotions run high, from someone who's made it her life's work.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 
31m 58s
Nov 2022
How to Handle Dread
The interviewer becomes the guest! In this Ten Percent Happier / More Than A Feeling crossover conversation, Dan Harris interviews Saleem to find out what stuck with him from his investigation into dread. We also highlight some of the best advice that came from our expert guests, ... Show More
57m 47s
Recommended Episodes
Aug 21
324. Why do we hold grudges?
Why do some things sit heavy in our chest for weeks, months, even years - while others seem to slide right off? In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the psychology of resentment, exploring why letting go can feel so hard, and what our grudges might actually be trying to tell us ab ... Show More
39m 32s
Feb 2025
No Hard Feelings
<p>Holding a grudge can feel like a form of justice, a way of punishing those who have wronged us. But psychologist <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/profile/fred_luskin" target="_blank">Fred Luskin</a> says that more often than not, grudges don't hurt the targets of our ... Show More
1h 5m
Sep 2024
Ep.128 The Art of Forgiveness
<p>Have you ever struggled to forgive someone who has hurt you? Do you find it difficult to let go of something that didn’t sit well with you? Have you struggled to let go of grudges and resentment? In this episode, we delve into the complex topic of forgiveness and forgetting. W ... Show More
56m 40s
Aug 18
I Release Grudges
This week's mantra is "I Release Grudges." Holding onto grudges can feel like carrying a heavy weight, keeping us tethered to past hurts and preventing us from moving forward. True freedom comes from choosing to let go, not for the sake of the other person, but for your own peace ... Show More
33m 52s
Oct 2023
Forgiveness, Seinfeld Grudges + The Science of Blame
It seems that the denizens of New London, Connecticut have real issues with forgiveness and letting go. Every year they throw a bizarre festival castigating the infamous American Revolutionary War-era traitor Benedict Arnold for giving information to the British forces leading th ... Show More
48m 12s
Dec 2024
Are You a Prisoner of your Pain and Past? 4 Steps to Forgiveness and the Power to Letting Go
Why is it so hard to forgive and let go?  I’ve been there–caught up in replaying moments where other people hurt me, and waiting for apologies that never come. And honestly? It’s exhausting. In this episode, I’m sharing my own struggles with forgiveness and the surprising things ... Show More
22m 3s
Nov 12
Forgiveness:. Embrace Freedom from Grudges
Episode Description:. Discover the transformative power of forgiveness as we delve deep into understanding its impact on personal growth, emotional well-being, and relationships. Learn practical strategies to let go of grudges and resentment that may be hindering your peace of mi ... Show More
5m 29s
Jul 2024
216. The psychology of resentment
Resentment is sometimes labelled as an ugly or bad emotion, something that is derived from a sense of entitlement. In actuality, resentment is a really useful emotion, it serves as an emotional alarm, it teaches us what we value, and it can help us understand our own expectations ... Show More
36m 20s
Sep 2024
Happiness Break: A Note to Self on Forgiveness, with Alex Elle (encore)
<p>Letting go of our regrets can motivate us to improve and help us grow. Alex Elle, a certified breath work and writing coach, guides us through a meditation to forgive and accept ourselves.</p><p><strong>Link to episode transcript:</strong> https://tinyurl.com/5dzrzm4z</p><p><s ... Show More
11m 12s