Can depression be used for manipulation?

Breadcrumbing can be a manipulative way to keep someone in your mind so that you can't fully move forward, keeping you as a pawn in another person's game. In this episode, a person wrote to me talking about their ex, a 13-year breadcrumber! 

The way someone talks about their relationship reveals a lot. Abuse victims and perpetrators each have their own language patterns. Knowing these language patterns will help you understand on which side of the fence you're on. 

In abusive relationships it might be difficult or even impossible to discern which parts of yourself are truly you and which are shaped by the abuse. Let's talk about what it takes to start building or rebuilding your identity. 

We can create our own dysfunction but be so jaded by those around us that we can't think clearly enough to stop toxic or hurtful behavior. There's a time when you have to get away from other people so that the fog can lift and you can think clearly. It is during those times when ... Show More

Is the ability to endure hardship and adapt to difficult life situations always a good thing? Psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker Lourdes Dolores Follins revisits the concept of resilience — and explains why it's OK to let yourself feel angry or frustrated sometim ... Show More

Are mental illnesses real in the same way that HIV, cancer, or the flu are? Some psychologists say no. 

Nothing is more damaging to your confidence and self-esteem than being in an emotionally abusive relationship. So often you make excuses for their behavior, think that it is your fault or feel that you can change their ways. In this episode I offer practical techniques so that yo ... Show More

Are you inadvertently allowing negativity into my mind and body? When someone puts you down or mistreats you, is it possible you are unintentionally enabling this behavior? You shouldn't be blamed for other people's bad behaviors, but you should also not be too tolerant of it eit ... Show More

 Is it wrong to desire?  Can you heal yourself out of a desire through meditation, personal work or Shadow Work?  We often have desires within ourselves that we feel are wrong to have or that will cause us pain.  Perhaps the question is not whether the desire is good or bad but W ... Show More

When you have emotional reactions that you don't want to have toward someone you care about, you probably try to control yourself but fail. Because of that, the pattern repeats itself over and over again until you heal from some past event or shift your perception so much that wh ... Show More

We all act tough sometimes. There are times when acting tough can serve a purpose. There will be times when you need to set your feelings aside and push through something difficult. It’s OK to acknowledge that you feel uncomfortable, to ask for help, and to be vulnerable with oth ... Show More

While you can’t control how other people behave, you can control how you respond to them. If you’ve allowed someone to treat you poorly and you didn’t address their behavior, it’s important to consider why. It may have to do with the other person–like you fear what would happen i ... Show More

Each year, millions of people get sick or die from diseases caused by their own unhealthy behavior. Getting people to change their bad habits – to quit smoking, eat better, or exercise – can be extremely hard. But what if we paid them?