logo
episode-header-image
Mar 2022
14m 7s

How To Know What You Want (You Don’t)

PATRICK KING
About this episode

We often think we know what we want based on singular experiences, stereotypes, or simple social pressures. But we are typically very, very wrong. In fact, most of the time, we are just making educated guesses. Psychological distance is deceptive, and we often confuse what we want with what benefits us from a self-interest standpoint. In reality, what we do know is simply what we don’t want. This is not the same as wanting the opposite of what we don’t want.

Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction


Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes


Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting


#BuildingAttraction #DynamicRelationship #EastwickFinkel #PhysicalAttractiveness #PsychologicalDistance #RomanticPartner #TropeLiberman #HowToKnowWhatYouWant(YouDon’t) #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TheScienceofAttraction


Up next
Aug 24
From Sleepwalking to Self-Awareness: Life Lessons with Cary Prejean ***HIGHLIGHTS*** - The Science of Self
Discover Your Inner Satisfaction with Cary Prejean | The Science of Self PodcastSee the full conversation at https://youtu.be/9Eva0A2oKRIIn this episode of 'The Science of Self,' we welcome Cary Prejean, an experienced business consultant and CPA, to talk about personal satisfact ... Show More
18m 54s
Aug 22
The Single Most Important Social Skill You Need Now
00:03:33 A 2009 paper by Aram and Aviram 00:04:11 A 2014 Journal of Applied Social Psychology article by Capozza00:09:38 Tip 1: Choose Your Fiction Wisely00:11:10 Tip 2: Sample Widely00:12:52 Tip 3: Read ACTIVELY00:15:39 Tip 4: Be Discerning Train Your Empathy: How to Cultivate t ... Show More
19m 53s
Aug 17
Endless Possibilities: Unlocking the Growth Mindset with Dr. Carmen Bell-Ross ***HIGHLIGHTS*** - The Science of Self
The Mindset of Lifelong Learning with Dr. Carmen BellSee the full conversation at https://youtu.be/v9nuF6CBdicIn this episode of The Science of Self, host Russell welcomes Dr. Carmen Bell to discuss the importance of maintaining a mindset of continuous learning and growth through ... Show More
16m 32s
Recommended Episodes
Oct 2023
#567: Reverse Inspiration: How to Know What You Want
When you know what you want, like, really know, it's easy to stay consistent. Most people don't achieve their goals, not because they aren't trying, but rather because they don't have a clear idea of what they really, really want in life. Sometimes in order to know what you do wa ... Show More
28m 57s
Oct 2023
94. why you keep FAILING to take action towards a better life. habit change, self sabotage & MORE
Hi my loves 🦋 In today's episode I chat with you about why we do behaviours that we KNOW aren't good for us, and ways we can ACTUALLY change ⬇️ -understanding the root of self sabotage -why I had an unhealthy relationship with food -how and why we emotionally regulate in unhealt ... Show More
42m 30s
May 2024
The Psychology of Manifesting: How to Create the Life You Want
Forrest and Dr. Rick explore “manifesting:” the idea that our thoughts impact the world around us, and by changing those thoughts we can change our lives. Talking about manifesting is complicated, because on the one hand our thoughts really do matter. On the other, manifesting is ... Show More
1h 24m
Dec 2018
The Uncomfortable Truth About Relationships You NEED to Hear with Neil Strauss
Neil Strauss is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The Game, Rules of the Game, Emergency, and Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead and The Truth, An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships He is also the co-author of three other New York Times bestsellers – Jenna Jameson ... Show More
58m 26s
Apr 2024
452: How To Become More Securely Attached
Attachment theory is one of the best ways to understand yourself, your partner and improve your relationship. Listen to today's show for tools you can use to heal your attachment wounds and work toward a more secure relationship. In this episode with Thais Gibson we discuss relat ... Show More
47m 11s
Oct 2021
Episode 8: What Is Self-Sabotage
In this episode, we talk about what is self-sabotage, why we do it, and how to practice out of it. We discuss how self-sabotage stems from unworthiness, why we fall back into old patterns that do serve us, and the opportunity to cultivate conscious choices to help you align with ... Show More
15m 45s
Jan 2024
#732 - Mary Harrington - Why You Shouldn’t Share Your Private Life Online
Mary Harrington is writer, columnist and author.Everyone has the temptation to share their life on the internet, but where does the line of sharing stop and oversharing begin? How has our performance for the crowd crept into our morals and changed the way we see the role of priva ... Show More
1h 19m
May 2024
#601: Social Anxiety: How to Stop Overthinking Social Situations
Maybe you find yourself overthinking social interactions or large group gatherings because you just aren't sure how to engage, how to start a conversation naturally, how to get out of one naturally or if anyone truly wants to talk to you, or you're the person waiting for the invi ... Show More
29m 45s
May 2024
How To Become The Coolest Person You Know
#146. Have you ever met someone who is just f*cking COOL? Just effortlessly themselves? When I think of the coolest people I know (namely, my friends), I realize they have a few personality traits in common. In this episode, I’m detailing specific traits that the coolest people I ... Show More
53m 15s
Jan 2024
Stop Trying To Make People Love You
In this episode, I chat about why it's not our job to make others love us. Instead, it's all about finding out who we really are, being that person authentically, and then magnetically attracting those who will love us just the way we are. Sounds liberating, right?We'll explore h ... Show More
20m 59s