logo
episode-header-image
Dec 2018
58m 26s

The Uncomfortable Truth About Relationsh...

Andrew Ferebee
About this episode

Neil Strauss is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The Game, Rules of the Game, Emergency, and Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead and The Truth, An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships

He is also the co-author of three other New York Times bestsellers – Jenna Jameson’s How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, Mötley Crüe’s The Dirt and Marilyn Manson’s The Long Hard Road out of Hell. A writer for Rolling Stone, Strauss lives in Los Angeles.

Favorite Quote

“The underlying cause of most unfulfilled lives, is simply that we are too close to ourselves to see clearly enough to get out of our own way”~Neil Strauss

Key Points

1. Understand how to Gauge Feedback

Life will often give you feedback about how you are doing across various areas. You may find yourself repeating the same patterns, getting into the same type of relationships, or making the same mistakes. Whatever the case, if you want to make a change you have to gauge feedback.

You have to look at the patterns in your life and discover what lesson they are trying to teach you. What does it say about you and your life that you are constantly dating the same type of girl and falling into the traps of “project dating”? What can you learn from the fact that you are constantly losing jobs after a few months?

Take a cold hard, honest look at your life and look at what the feedback is telling you and then change accordingly.

2. Your Level of Self Esteem will Equal the Level of Your Relationships

Have you ever heard the phrase opposites attract?

Well that’s bull shit. Like attracts like, and if you are finding yourself getting into relationships with women where you are both in an unhealthy emotional relationship, odds are, your own self esteem is lacking.

If you want to attract better women, first become better yourself and change what you accept from others and from yourself. If you have low self esteem you will never be able to attract a woman with high self esteem, and if you have high self esteem, you will never get sucked into a toxic relationships with a woman who has low self esteem.

3. Finding Your Passion is Simple

If you want to find your purpose, and passion, do stuff you love.

That’s it. If you love doing something, then keep doing it, don’t worry about whether it’s your real purpose or whether you should change careers to follow the money, simply do things that you love doing and you will never fail.

Up next
Jun 11
Part III: Burn the Mask, Kill the Excuses and Reclaim the Man
In part iii of this series, you built success, but somewhere along the way—you lost yourself. You became who the world wanted… and forgot the man she craved. Now? The respect is gone. The fire’s dim. And no one’s coming to save you. This isn’t about adding more. It’s about burnin ... Show More
24m 14s
Jun 9
Part II: The Man Behind the Mask
You look solid to everyone. But behind the mask, you're tired. Disconnected. Numb. You’ve built the life, the success, the stability—yet you’re quietly disappearing. In this episode, we expose the real war you’re fighting: not with your wife, your job, or the world… but with you. ... Show More
16m 24s
May 27
Part 1: Most Men Perform. Few Ever Live.
You’ve got the life that looks good on paper—but deep down, something’s off. You don’t feel powerful. You feel hollow. Because what you built wasn’t freedom—it was performance. A mask. And it’s killing the real you. In this raw, unfiltered episode, we expose the quiet lie most me ... Show More
16 m
Recommended Episodes
Aug 2021
#24: 3 Reasons Why You Lose Yourself in Relationships
Some people say that you can't have everything in this world - Like money, independence AND love? But in this episode, we're debunking that myth. If you're a successful high achiever who feels in control and confident when you're single but totally lose yourse ... Show More
17m 11s
Jun 2022
159. You Hold the Power to Attract the Relationship You’ve Always Wanted
For most of us love is (or at least was) an elusive mystery we could only dream of. That’s why today I’m so excited to welcome my guest Crystal Irom, a Love Coach specifically for successful women. As if women didn’t have it hard enough these days, amiright? Why is it that especi ... Show More
42m 19s
May 2021
EP 131: How To Relax in Dating and Effortlessly Attract the Relationship You Want
MOST women I talk to are simply “trying too hard” in love. This breaks my heart when I see it because it used to be me! Did you know that a healthy dating mindset is actually something you can work to build?! I want to help you show up effortlessly in your dating life by working ... Show More
16m 19s
May 2024
How to Know They’ll Cheat on You - Cheating Expert Reveals Warning Signs! | Neil Strauss
Today, Lewis sits down with best-selling author Neil Strauss to explore the complex world of relationships, infidelity, and personal growth. Strauss opens up about his own journey from infidelity to intimacy rehab, sharing powerful lessons on rebuilding trust and nurturing secure ... Show More
1h 24m
Apr 2022
Great Relationships Start with You & Hard Truths – Gary John Bishop : 932
WE APPRECIATE OUR PARTNERS. CHECK THEM OUT!Nature’s Nootropic: https://trukava.com, use code DAVE15 to get 15% offNAD+ for Brain Health: https://innovativemedicine.com/DAVE and save 20%Support Immune & Digestive Health: https://justthrivehealth.com, use code ASPREY to get 15% off ... Show More
1h 6m
May 2022
LOVE EXPERT Reveals Why People CAN’T FIND LOVE & How To FIX THAT! | Spirit
Meeting someone new that gives you all the right feels is tough. Once you’ve met that someone and that new relationship energy has you drunk in love and intoxicated with hormones, you blink and a year or two have passed and now you’re sobering up… uh oh!How do you make relationsh ... Show More
59m 17s
Jun 2022
161. Navigating Anxiousness in Dating
Anxious attachment is tricky, and it can definitely get you into some relationship trouble if you don’t know how to deal with it. It can leave you scared of true intimacy even though it’s also what you want above all else. Talk about a hell of your own anxious making. That’s why ... Show More
18m 4s
Oct 2023
224. Don't Give Up On Dating! A Relationship IS Meant For You
If you’ve given up on dating…this episode is for you. I’m not talking about the people who truly do not desire a relationship. I’m talking to the people who have a soul-deep desire for a relationship, but have gotten so discouraged that they’re ready to throw in the towel entirel ... Show More
30m 8s
Sep 2023
220. Dating Requires Your Effort (Contrary to Popular Belief)
If you’re walking around telling yourself “I DESERVE a relationship…” Sit down for a second. Let’s talk. I say this because I love you: you do not “deserve” a relationship.  You don’t deserve anything from another individual just because you want it.  Imagine if you walked into a ... Show More
39m 9s
Jun 2022
Relationship Expert Reveals The TRUTH BEHIND Attraction and How to BUILD DESIRE | Dr. Laura Berman
Once upon a time someone started telling stories about falling in love, being swept off your feet and feeling butterflies in your stomach was a sign this person must be the one. How many of you have honestly deceived yourself trusting those butterflies? What if we told you, those ... Show More
1h 3m