Oct 21
19m 10s
In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz issues a bold 7-day challenge that just might transform your confidence: stop apologizing. Not when you bump into someone, but the deeper, more compulsive “I’m sorry” that leaks out when you speak up, have needs, or reveal who you are.
If you’ve ever found yourself saying “Sorry to bother you” or “I’m sorry, that was probably too much…”—this episode is for you. Dr. Aziz reveals why chronic apologizing isn't just a bad habit—it's a deep, unconscious signal that says “I’m not allowed to exist as I am.” You’ll learn how these little apologies sap your power, disconnect you from others, and reinforce toxic self-doubt.
Packed with stories, humor, and a clear 7-day “apology fast” experiment, this conversation will help you ditch the reflex, reclaim your voice, and show up unapologetically real.
Ready to stop shrinking and start owning your space? Tune in now and begin your 7-day confidence reboot.
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How many times did you apologize today?
If you’re like most people, it’s probably more than you realize. “I’m sorry” slips out when we bump into someone, when we speak up, when we share something personal, and when we even exist in a way that might inconvenience someone.
But here’s the truth: you’re not being polite—you’re being powerless.
For one week, I want to challenge you to stop apologizing unnecessarily. What happens next might shock you.
The Addiction You Don’t Realize You Have
Over-apologizing feels harmless—like good manners. But in reality, it’s an emotional addiction.
Every “I’m sorry” is a tiny attempt to soothe discomfort. You’re trying to make sure no one’s upset, that no one disapproves, that everyone’s okay with you.
It’s a self-soothing reflex, just like reaching for sugar or scrolling endlessly on your phone. It gives you a micro-hit of safety… at the cost of your power.
The moment you say “sorry” when you’ve done nothing wrong, you send a subconscious message to yourself:
“I’m a problem. I shouldn’t exist this way.”
And you don’t just say it once—you reinforce it dozens of times a day.
The Cost of Compulsive Apologizing
At best, this habit makes you seem uncertain. At worst, it damages your confidence and your relationships.
When you apologize for having an opinion, for asking a question, or simply for speaking up, people don’t feel more comfortable around you—they feel disconnected.
It’s like you shared a genuine moment, and then poured cold water all over it.
I’ve seen clients apologize for being seen:
“I’m sorry, I know I’m talking too much.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.”
But when you say sorry for simply being human, what you’re really saying is: “I’m sorry for who I am.”
And that is the one apology you must stop making—forever.
The 7-Day Apology Fast
Let’s make this practical. For the next seven days, go on what I call an Apology Fast.
That doesn’t mean you never apologize. Real apologies—where you’ve acted outside your values or hurt someone are powerful and healing.
But all the other ones? The nervous, automatic, I just want you to like me apologies? Those go.
Here’s how:
Notice it. Catch yourself the moment you say “sorry.”
Interrupt it. Imagine the gentle but firm correction: “Ah-ah. Leave it.” (Yes, like training a puppy!)
Replace it. Instead of “sorry,” say something direct and grounded. Try “thank you for your patience,” “excuse me,” or simply say nothing at all.
Keep score. See if you can reduce your unnecessary apologies each day.
The Real Transformation
When you stop apologizing for existing, something beautiful happens:
You start to take up space.
You start to feel solid.
You start to respect yourself.
And that shift ripples outward. People listen more closely. You speak more clearly. You move through the world as someone who knows—deeply—that they belong.
So, for seven days, no unnecessary “I’m sorry.”
Just you unfiltered, unapologetic, and free.
Because confidence doesn’t come from being perfect.
It comes from finally realizing you have nothing to apologize for.