logo
episode-header-image
Sep 30
22m 50s

The Suprising Secret To Becoming Magneti...

Dr. Aziz: Social Anxiety And Confidence Expert, Author and Coach
About this episode

In today’s episode, we dive into a powerful truth: becoming more magnetic and attractive doesn’t require abs, money, or status—it starts with how you see yourself. If you’ve ever felt like you’re just not desirable enough, that something is wrong with you, or that others wouldn’t want to be close to the “real you,” this conversation will shift everything.

Dr. Aziz shares his personal journey from years of insecurity, social anxiety, and rejection to finding genuine freedom and connection. You’ll discover why your belief that you’re not attractive is the actual block—not your looks, your personality, or your past. The secret? A willingness to let yourself be seen and known. And not just intellectually, but emotionally—fully and courageously.

If you want more magnetism, more connection, and more real confidence in every area of life—from friendships to dating to your career—this episode is for you. Tune in now, and take the first step toward living life unhidden.


------------------


Most people think being magnetic and attractive is about perfect abs, flawless hair, or saying all the right things. But the truth is, the biggest obstacle to your natural magnetism isn’t your appearance at all—it’s what you believe about yourself.

In this post, you’ll discover why your “fantasy self” is quietly sabotaging your confidence and how you can start becoming irresistible right now, without changing who you are.

The Biggest Block to Attraction (And It’s Not Your Looks)

When I ask clients why they hesitate to approach someone, they’ll grimace and say, “It’s not going to go well.” Underneath that is a story: I’m not magnetic, I’m not attractive, and I’m not desirable.

This story creates a trap. We tell ourselves, “I’ll finally put myself out there when I’m thinner, richer, more interesting, or more confident.” That version of you—your “fantasy self”—never gets anxious, always knows what to say, and looks amazing. Until you become that version, you stay hidden.

But here’s the cost: life passes you by. You miss out on connection, love, friendships, and opportunities that are available right now. The real obstacle isn’t that people wouldn’t be drawn to you—it’s that you’re telling yourself you’re not attractive enough to try.

The Real Secret to Being Magnetic: Willingness to Be Seen and Known

Let me give you the great secret right now: attraction begins with a willingness to let yourself be seen and known.

Being “seen and known” isn’t dumping your deepest trauma on a first date. It’s showing your aliveness—your thoughts, your feelings, your humor, your enthusiasm—in the moment. It’s being curious about someone else while allowing them to experience you.

Most people try to connect without vulnerability. They hide behind a performance, hoping to look perfect enough to earn approval. That doesn’t create magnetism; it creates distance. Real magnetism is showing up as yourself—5% more real than you were yesterday.

My Turning Point (And Why It Matters to You)

I know this because I lived it. For over a decade, from middle school into college, I believed I was unattractive and undesirable. Even when a girl clearly showed interest—like the first time someone kissed me at a sleepover—I avoided her the next morning. My story (“she’d never really want me”) was stronger than reality.

Later, I dove into pickup advice, learning how to act bold and impressive. It helped me get dates but not real relationships. Why? Because I was still hiding my true self. It wasn’t until my late 20s, when I began practicing vulnerability, that everything shifted.

You don’t need to wait as long as I did. The sooner you practice letting yourself be seen and known—even a little—the sooner you become naturally magnetic.

Your Action Step: Be 5% More Real

This week, don’t try to overhaul your whole personality. Instead, experiment with being just 5% more real. Share a genuine thought or feeling when you’d normally stay guarded. Show a little more curiosity, warmth, or enthusiasm in your next conversation.

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about gently retraining your nervous system to see that revealing yourself is safe—and often rewarding.

Closing Inspiration

You don’t have to wait until you’re flawless to be magnetic. You’re already more attractive than you think. All it takes is the courage to be a little more real, a little more open, and a lot more you.

And if you’re excited to go deeper into these skills, stay tuned: in October I’ll be leading a live, virtual workshop called Supremely Confident Conversation Master where we’ll practice these tools together in real time. Pencil in the dates—October 10th–12th—you won’t want to miss it.

Until then, remember: have the courage to be who you are. On a deep level, you’re awesome.

Up next
Sep 23
How To Actually Like Talking With People
Do you ever say, “I just don’t like talking to people,” or “That’s not my scene,” and leave it at that? In this episode, we dig deeper into that resistance—what’s really behind the stories we tell ourselves about not wanting to socialize. Whether it’s shyness, discomfort, or old ... Show More
26m 53s
Sep 16
The Secret Path To End Social Anxiety
Most people try to manage their social anxiety — rehearsing what to say, overanalyzing every conversation, and worrying endlessly about what others think. But what if you didn’t have to manage it anymore? In this powerful episode, I share what it takes to eliminate social anxiety ... Show More
19m 29s
Sep 9
No More Awkward Conversations
If you've ever walked away from a conversation cringing, overanalyzing what you said, or feeling disconnected and uncomfortable… this episode is for you. Dr. Aziz reveals exactly what causes those awkward moments—and how to stop them for good. You’ll learn the different types of ... Show More
22m 24s
Recommended Episodes
Sep 23
Confidence: How to Build It, Be It, and Own It with Roxie Nafousi
Do you wish you could walk into any room as your true self?Are you tired of letting self-doubt and other people’s opinions hold you back?Could changing your inner voice change your entire life?What’s the difference between being confident and needing to be the best? In this episo ... Show More
54m 26s
Mar 2024
The Ripple Effect Of Confidence AudioChapter from The Confidence Formula AudioBook by Patrick King
The Confidence Formula: May Cause: Lower Self-Doubt, Higher Self-Esteem, and Comfort In Your Own Skin (Be Confident and Fearless Book 8) By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ConfidenceFormulaKing https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0994VF5XH 00:16:21 Low Confidence Characteristic ... Show More
58m 13s
Mar 2025
The Power of Words: Shaping Your Identity and Confidence - EP11
Rewire Your Self-Talk: The Words That Shape Your Confidence & Reality 🎙️✨Have you ever considered how the words you use impact your confidence, identity, and success? The way you talk to yourself—whether consciously or subconsciously—can either hold you back or empower you to st ... Show More
14m 18s
Dec 2024
Fuel Your Life with Strength & Confidence
Do you ever feel like self-doubt and fear are holding you back from living the bold, fulfilled life you deserve? In this empowering episode, Brendon Burchard shares how to cultivate unshakable strength and confidence to fuel every area of your life. In this episode, you’ll learn: ... Show More
17m 6s
Jul 31
5 Signs of Low Self Esteem & How To Build Confidence (Encore)
A lack of self-confidence doesn’t always scream at you—sometimes it whispers in the background of your day. Today, Mary shares 5 not-so-obvious signs that your self-confidence might be quietly taking a hit… signs she’s personally working through, too.These confidence red flags ar ... Show More
26m 55s
Sep 24
The Fear of Not Being Enough: How to Overcome Self-Doubt and Build Lasting Confidence
So many of us struggle with the fear of not being enough—not smart enough, successful enough, attractive enough, or worthy enough. In this episode of The Self Esteem and Confidence Mindset Podcast, we dive deep into how this fear shows up, why it holds us back, and most important ... Show More
4m 23s
Feb 2025
Mastering Financial Confidence
Struggling with financial confidence? In this episode of The Self Esteem and Confidence Mindset, we dive into practical strategies to help you overcome money fears, build a strong financial mindset, and develop unshakable confidence with money. Learn how to shift your beliefs, ma ... Show More
11m 30s
Feb 2025
7 Ways to Train Your Brain to Go From Insecurity to Confidence
How do you react when you feel insecure? What past experience boosted your confidence? Today, Jay explores how you can break free from insecurity and build lasting confidence using science-backed techniques and practical mindset shifts. Jay opens the episode by addressing the inv ... Show More
30m 11s
Feb 2025
How to Manifest Your Dream Partner this Year (Desperation is BLOCKING You)
What qualities do you truly want in a partner? Do you believe in manifestation when it comes to love? Today, Jay explores how you can break free from insecurity and build lasting confidence using science-backed techniques and practical mindset shifts. Jay opens the episode by add ... Show More
29m 21s
Apr 2025
How to Boost Your Confidence & Beat Insecurity
Insecurity doesn’t have to dictate your life. In this episode, we dive into five practical ways to boost your confidence and beat insecurities. From shutting down negative thoughts to following through on goals you’ve been putting off, we’ll cover:Knowing Your Values – and why it ... Show More
27m 34s