“Strength without allowing support often becomes self-abandonment.”
Have you ever found yourself being the one everyone leans on, the strong one, the steady one, the one who always shows up? You’re the rock, the caretaker, the leader. But beneath the surface, there’s a quiet ache. A deep fatigue. A part of you is wondering, “When is it my turn to be held?”
In this episode of Soul Talk, I open up about the hidden cost of strength. From my early years as the son of a healer and spiritual leader, to the emotional weight I carried as a child, I share how becoming the “strong one” became my identity, and how it nearly kept me from truly healing.
We dive into the psychology of hyper-independence, the nervous system’s response to unmet childhood needs, and why so many of us find it easier to give than to receive. This episode is a wake-up call for the silent warriors, the ones who show up for everyone but struggle to let anyone show up for them.
Tune into this episode and learn how to release the pressure to be everything for everyone, reconnect to your own needs, and open your heart to receiving the love and support you deserve.
True strength isn’t about carrying it all alone. It’s about being human. Vulnerable. Seen. You were never meant to do this life by yourself, and you don’t have to anymore.
Timestamps:
- (00:04:36) - Kute’s early life as the “emotional caretaker”
- (00:05:35) - The role of the strong one: survival vs. choice
- (00:07:36) - Childhood roots of emotional independence
- (00:09:02) - Why it’s hard to receive: control, vulnerability, and trauma
- (00:11:56) - The praise trap: being rewarded for not needing
- (00:13:07) - What it costs to carry the load alone
- (00:15:57) - Healing through love: Kute’s personal shift
- (00:17:42) - Practical steps to open up and receive support
- (00:18:45) - Let yourself be helped and supported by the Divine
- (00:21:08) - A request: check in on someone strong in your life
- (00:22:04) - You’re allowed to receive, because you’re human
Some questions I ask:
- Why do we struggle to ask for help?
- What childhood roles or dynamics shape our hyper-independence?
- How does being strong all the time become self-abandonment?
- Why is receiving sometimes more vulnerable than giving?
- What small steps can we take to invite support into our lives?
In this episode, you will learn about:
- Why constantly being the “strong one” can lead to hidden emotional exhaustion
- How childhood roles and early emotional conditioning shape your ability to receive love and support
- The surprising ways hyper-independence is actually a coping mechanism rooted in trauma
- How to recognize the unconscious beliefs that make asking for help feel unsafe or weak
- Why receiving is not a weakness, but a courageous act of trust, vulnerability, and healing
- Practical ways to soften your defenses, open your heart, and invite support into your life
- How allowing yourself to be supported transforms not only your relationships, but your entire capacity to thrive
Get in Touch:
- Resources with Kute Blackson: