Welcome to a series of videos that will introduce you to a simple model of men’s psychology that draws on some of the growing body of research on men.
There’s more than meets the eye with men, just as there is with women. Men are driven at the core by instincts the same as women—masculine instincts.
However, just like women, they have emotions of very similar types and style. The expression is different because emoting is in some part, governed by the instincts.
Finally, the intellect and mature executive functions are also just like those of women (we have identical IQ potential - and “EQ” potential.) Yet the masculine instincts also influence that, and our communication and behavior.
This synthesis of the old and new, the rigorous and the elegant, and most important of all, an attempt at “unification of the psychologies” is the aim of Masculine Psychology, as we start to discuss in this first video.
It’s Masculine Psychology (originally, MMP), which is available in videos delivered one day at a time, for the full 5+ hours of the course (available to paid subscribers only)…
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SUMMARY:
Dr. Paul discusses the nuances of communication and confidence in social interactions, particularly in the context of dating. Key points include:
1. **Courage vs. Foolhardiness**: The speaker distinguishes between erratic, impulsive behavior (e.g., blurting out whatever comes to mind) and genuine courage. They argue that simply saying whatever is on one’s mind, especially on a date, is foolish and undermines the mystery of the interaction.
2. **Masculinity and Confidence**: There's a differentiation made between masculine attributes, associated with confidence and fatherliness, and feminine attributes, connected to well-being and motherliness. The speaker notes that these traits are not strictly gender-specific.
3. **Facing Fear**: The speaker emphasizes the importance of facing fears thoughtfully rather than adopting a defeatist attitude. True courage requires facing challenges rather than avoiding them.
4. **Setting Boundaries**: The speaker explains that individuals have the right to express their feelings honestly in a diplomatic manner, particularly in uncomfortable situations, such as a bad date. They highlight that it's acceptable to say "no" or to excuse oneself without feeling guilty.
5. **Two Types of Apologies**: The speaker contrasts two kinds of apologies: one that is weak and childlike ("I'm sorry") and another that is assertive and mature. This mature apology acknowledges one's needs while respecting the other person’s feelings, such as saying, “I’m sorry, but I need to go home now.”
6. **Social Appropriateness**: The speaker discusses how expressing one's boundaries and saying no can be seen as a form of "killing" in a metaphorical sense—acknowledging the socially appropriate ways to assert oneself without being hurtful.
Overall, the dialogue emphasizes the importance of confidence, the ability to communicate boundaries effectively, and the distinction between immature and mature expressions of emotion in interpersonal relationships.