Maybe you are a man and you have children, and have been through a divorce that taxed your soul to the point where you weren’t sure anything you have ever tried to achieve was worth even trying.
Maybe you are a man and you don’t have children, but you have been accused of things you never thought to accuse others of. Things like “being privileged” or being “toxic.” You didn’t understand where such things were originating from because you have worked exceedingly hard all your life to help others, not offend them, and even then you got very little back for all the effort. That’s okay because the point was not to get anything back, but such accusations hurt you deeply even so.
Maybe you are a man who works a very dirty job, doing very dirty tasks that nobody else wants to or dares to, or perhaps you’ve been incarcerated—fairly or unfairly—but either way, you have paid the price and thought there may be a chance of starting anew, but you found there is no starting anew, even when you have learned very hard lessons and changed yourself to the core.
But for what?
Maybe you are a man who has been depressed—deeply so—and you wanted to pull yourself out of it, tried to pull yourself out of it because that’s what men do or try to do. You tried medicines and therapy to do so but neither worked, and you hate to admit that some of those times you felt so down that you looked for ways to end yourself.
You didn’t really want to, but nobody intervened to stop you even though you wanted to be the only one who could stop you.
And if you are reading this, then you somehow managed to, at least for now.
You have Depresculinity like countless other men, and you immediately know what the word means.
As we begin an overview of the exciting new technology of Men's Psychology—a new, emerging branch of psychology, let's look at the big picture of life for men today and some of the significant challenges they face.
Some of these will align with what you may have already experienced as a man. Some of the data we will look at you may have overlooked simply due to not having been exposed to such info in typical mainstream media.
Because women share the planet with this other (almost) half of humanity, we will need to keep in mind the needs, desires, challenges, and ultimately, the feminine instincts of women as they align with at times and at other times form a counterpoint to men and their masculine instincts.
The expanding academic research in psychology is suggestive that we do not do enough today for men in terms of help for their emotional, psychological, or spiritual problems, especially in their two deeply felt concerns: finding love and following a career mission.
If we first look at men's most daunting problems as a group, it may benefit you to have data to compare to in your own life.
Even if your life is going quite well, you will have standards and benchmarks to measure yourself against compared to other men.
This comparison is something that, instinctually, men need so as not to get disorganized or unmotivated for positive change in their lives.
Regardless of how you fare versus other men, the research tends to lead us to the conclusion that the three most impactful areas for personal development in men are:
1 In romantic relationships
2 Career progress (one's "mission" for life)
3 In general wellness (which can be both general psychological growth and physical health.)
One of the practical goals of Depresculinity and the new field of Men's Psychology is to inform you of the basics of this new body of knowledge. Doing so is intended to help you excel in your dating and relationships and come closer to discovering your mission as a man. The combination of these two processes we call "masculine intelligence."
While there are many similarities between men and women, such as IQ, and range of emotions being the very same, there is an area of the mind in which they are decidedly different - not "unequal" but with your own unconscious, instinctual tendencies.
What we call "masculine instincts" and "feminine instincts" cause men and women to buy some very different kinds of products for their own instinctual reasons. They even choose very differently among career options and the things they like to think about, worry about, or enjoy as entertainment. They take a different approach to finding and keeping love in their lives.
These instincts are why men and women don't see eye-to-eye on these items. The instincts are invisible, and now they matter more than ever in this time of conflict.
They are also the driving force behind how men and women are decidedly different in ways when it comes to psychology and behavior.
There's much to learn about men and their psychology, and as you can see, men and women can't live without each other, and to find happiness, they must learn to understand each other better.