What if every tiny criticism (real or imagined) felt like a full-body betrayal?
In this validating and deeply personal episode, ADHD educator and author Jesse J. Anderson joins Alice to unpack what rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) really feels like, and how it’s shaped his relationships, self-perception, and emotional responses.
Jesse shares how RSD used to hijack his nervous system, leading to blow-ups in conversations with his wife and shame spirals that lasted for days. But over time, he’s learned to pause, name what’s happening, and create space for a different response.
You’ll hear:
How RSD distorts emotional cues and triggers emotional overwhelm
Why Jesse used to “blow up” and what he does differently now
The therapist phrase that helped him access logic in the middle of a spiral
What happens when ADHDers interpret normal conflict as deep rejection
Why emotional regulation looks different for ADHD brains, and why it matters
How Jesse’s layoff pushed him to lean on community instead of hiding
This episode is a must-listen for anyone with ADHD—or anyone who loves someone with it.
Chapters:
00:50 Intro
02:21 Jesse on being the “bad kid” with undiagnosed ADHD
05:33 What rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) actually feels like
10:10 The therapist phrase that changed everything
13:55 ADHD and marriage: how Jesse nearly blew it
17:42 Learning to pause before blowing up
21:05 Jesse’s “hand over mouth” moment
23:18 Getting laid off and going public
26:50 The healing power of community
31:45 Why ADHD friendships often fall apart
35:22 Jesse’s app idea for remembering friends
38:10 Grieving the ADHD kid you were
41:03 How Jesse shows up differently now
45:12 Where to find Jesse and his work
Resources & Links:
Jesse's book, Extra Focus: https://www.amazon.com/Extra-Focus-Quick-Start-Guide/dp/B0CGKL5FGF
Follow Jesse on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdjesse/
Follow Jesse's Substack: https://substack.com/@adhdjesse