Why do we still fear being left out, even in safe, loving friendships?
In this solo episode, Alice opens up about a vivid dream that left her in tears and the deeper fears it uncovered. Despite being a grown adult with supportive relationships, her subconscious still clings to the belief that one day, the people she loves might just… stop loving her.
This episode dives into the science behind social rejection, the wounds we carry from childhood friendship dynamics, and what rejection-sensitive dysphoria looks like in everyday life (yes, even in dreams). With warmth, insight, and zero toxic positivity, Alice shares how she copes when the fear of being unwanted comes roaring back.
You’ll hear:
Why our brains process rejection like physical pain
The childhood friendship that left a mark—and still shows up in dreams
How rejection-sensitive dysphoria impacts friendships and self-trust
Why “rejection = redirection” isn’t always helpful
Practical ways to cope with perceived rejection without spiraling
Why diversifying your identity makes rejection hurt less
This one’s for anyone who’s ever walked away from a group hang wondering, “Did I say something wrong?” or reread a text thread five times to confirm they weren’t being iced out.
Chapters:
00:50 The dream that triggered this episode
03:12 Why safe friendships still feel unsafe sometimes
06:40 The science of rejection and why it physically hurts
10:45 Childhood friendship wounds and feeling ousted
15:05 Why I still carry those fears into adulthood
17:00 Lessons from Sarah Rice on dealing with mass rejection
20:22 How to cope when social media amplifies rejection
23:05 You don’t need to find the lesson right away
25:19 Feeling grief and gratitude at the same time
28:14 Why nuance matters: people aren't all good or all bad
31:08 Diversifying your identity to soften the sting
34:35 Reflections on nine months of podcasting
36:45 A thank you, and what's next for the show
Resources:
Cyberball study on social rejection (a meta-analysis)
My Rejection Story Interview with Whitney Goodman on Toxic Positivity
Alice Draper's Interview on Sarah Rice's Podcast "This Changes Everything"
Email Alice: alice@hustlingwriters.com