logo
episode-header-image
Jun 21
10m 50s

Why You'd Rather Lose Than Be Treated Un...

Communication & Mindset Coach Sarah Mikutel
About this episode

What do abandoned mansions in Bucharest have to do with dirty dishes and emotional resentment?

In this episode, I explore how our desire for fairness can lead us to self-sabotage — and how Stoic justice asks us to think beyond pride, punishment, and being right.

We’ll walk through a real-world example of decades-long property disputes, connect it to the Ultimatum Game in behavioral economics, and look at how these same dynamics show up in our everyday relationships — from family drama to who does the dishes.

This is an invitation to reflect on what you're holding onto, and whether it’s time to build something new — even without the apology or closure you thought you needed.

***

Hi! I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, an American in England and fellow citizen of the world. A few things I love: Stoicism, great vegetarian tacos, and helping my coaching clients thrive in all areas of their lives. 

sarahmikutel.com ❤️


Does the phrase “public speaking” make you feel a little sick…even if it’s just a team meeting or a group conversation? 

I made something to help you.

Calm Your Nerves in 90 Seconds is a free anxiety-reduction toolkit with a guided meditation and journal to help you communicate with confidence.

Use it anytime your brain goes into overdrive and you need a reset.

https://sarahmikutel.com/reset

Up next
Jun 29
It’s Supposed to Suck Right Now
Struggling to start something new because you're afraid of looking foolish? This episode is your permission slip to begin. You’ll learn how Stoic philosophy and growth mindset can help you move through discomfort, let go of perfectionism, and build real confidence – one imperfect ... Show More
11m 39s
Dec 2024
The Truth about Mr. Darcy + Nonviolent Communication Tips for Conflict Resolution
Mr. Darcy has been on my mind this week. Not because he’s the fantasy of so many women, but because I finally read Pride and Prejudice, and discovered something shocking (to me) about him.  I’d always thought of Mr. Darcy as this tall, brooding, misunderstood character. The fabul ... Show More
14m 51s
Oct 2024
How to Combat Speaking Anxiety with Stoicism: Stoicon 2024 Talk
Last week, I gave one of the lightning talks at Stoicon 2024. The topic: How to Combat Speaking Anxiety with Stoicism.Want to see the video? Head to my Substack 👉 Citizens of the WorldThanks for listening ❤️sarahmikutel.comDoes the phrase “public speaking” make you feel a little ... Show More
9m 57s
Recommended Episodes
Dec 2024
The Truth about Mr. Darcy + Nonviolent Communication Tips for Conflict Resolution
Mr. Darcy has been on my mind this week. Not because he’s the fantasy of so many women, but because I finally read Pride and Prejudice, and discovered something shocking (to me) about him. I’d always thought of Mr. Darcy as this tall, brooding, misunderstood character. The fabulo ... Show More
15m 38s
Aug 2024
#311 Learn English with Pride and Prejudice - For Beginners
Today, we will discuss the famous book "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen. This story takes us back to a time of good manners, love, and society in the 19th century. Get the transcript on my website: Speakenglishpodcast.com/podcast "Pride and Prejudice" is about the Bennet fami ... Show More
28m 38s
Dec 2024
Paula Byrne on Thomas Hardy’s Women, Jane Austen’s Humor, and Evelyn Waugh’s Warmth
Donate to Conversations with Tyler Give Crypto Other Ways to Give What can Thomas Hardy’s tortured marriages teach us about love, obsession, and second chances? In this episode, biographer, novelist, and therapist Paula Byrne examines the intimate connections between life and lit ... Show More
54m 42s
May 30
The Good Girl rebellion: How to stop caring if you’re likeable
Fearne’s been thinking a lot lately about how much of her life she’s spent people pleasing as a result of wanting to be liked. So today, how to break free from the ‘good girl’ your family, friends, colleagues, and society expect you to be...In this episode –-Louise Redknapp clari ... Show More
44m 36s
Sep 2024
S2, Ep 9 Friendship Therapy: Friendship Boundaries - how rupture in friendship can help us break our own patterns
Welcome back to Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendships through a therapeutic lens. This week, Emma is joined by Scott, a man who, now in his 40s, has experienced a sudden turnover in the friends he made in his 20s. A repeating pattern of rupture and loss ... Show More
51m 14s
Jul 2020
Marital Economics in Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice”
An advantageous marriage is Elizabeth Bennet’s only potential escape from a foolish mother, a disinterested father, three very silly sisters, and a house that’s entailed away to her idiotic cousin Mr. Collins. But she turns down fabulously wealthy Mr. Darcy because he’s prideful— ... Show More
1h 20m
Mar 2025
The Public Speaking Expert: This Speaking Mistake Makes People Ignore You! These Small Mistakes Make You Unlikeable!
Speaking with confidence isn’t a gift, it’s a skill - Vinh Giang reveals the blueprint to mastering the art of communication Vinh Giang is an award-winning entrepreneur, part-magician, and full time communication coach. He runs masterclasses and has helped thousands of people imp ... Show More
2h 26m
May 7
295: Matthew and Audrey Solo: What to Do When Someone Pulls Away, Managing Social Anxiety, and Our Quarterly Audit for 2025
In this episode Matthew and Audrey sit down for a review of the last quarter of the year and dive into the hidden forces that shape our relationships with others and ourselves. They also discuss the perfectionism that keeps us from connection, overthinking texts, and the emotiona ... Show More
45m 7s
Mar 2024
Book Club: Pride and Prejudice
It is time for the long-awaited episode on Jane Austen's enduring classic novel Pride and Prejudice. We navigate issues of class, romance, expectations, first impressions, and of course, pride and prejudice.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. 
52m 18s