In this episode of Do The Work | Mindset Mastery…
I break down a powerful topic that most of us deal with regularly—our emotional response mechanisms: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. While these are often discussed in the context of trauma, they show up in business every single day. And if we’re not careful, our default reactions can destroy deals, strain relationships, and burn us out.
The Real Difference Between Desperation and Discipline
Most people think fight is always a good thing—that if you’re willing to fight, you’re strong. But that’s not always true. Fighting out of panic or fear usually creates chaos. I’ve done it myself. I’ve blamed, I’ve lashed out, I’ve let emotions take the wheel—and all it did was cost me time, money, and relationships.
But when you fight with discipline—when your fight is built on routines, consistency, and focus—that’s where real results come from. That’s when you're not just reacting to problems, you're responding from a place of power.
“There's no motivation in marketing. There's no motivation in putting videos out there. It just has to be done because you're a business owner.”
Stop Blaming. Start Leading.
We talk a lot about accountability, but I want to emphasize something: Blame kills leadership. I’ve watched agents panic when a deal goes sideways and immediately start pointing fingers—at the lender, at the title company, at everyone but themselves. And trust me, I get it. It’s easy to blame. But blame does nothing to fix the problem or prevent it from happening again.
When I coach my agents, I remind them: it’s your deal. It’s your responsibility. You’ve got to stop assuming everything will run smoothly just because someone said it would. You’re the leader of the transaction. You need to check in. You need to follow up. You need to manage the emotions, not add to them.
Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn—The Business Translation
These response styles are more than just psychology. They show up in how we handle conflict, stress, and decision-making in real estate.
Fight (Desperation): Emotionally charged, reactive, short-term. Leads to burnout and regret.
Fight (Discipline): Calm, structured, strategic. Built on routines like marketing daily, showing up consistently, and setting client expectations early.
Flight (Desperation): Avoidance. Ignoring client calls. Delaying hard conversations.
Flight (Discipline): Strategic withdrawal. Reassessing a bad deal or stepping away from toxic clients.
Freeze (Desperation): Paralysis. Overthinking. Perfectionism.
Freeze (Discipline): Meditation. Creating space to think clearly before reacting.
Fawn (Desperation): People-pleasing. Lowering commission. Letting clients dictate strategy.
Fawn (Discipline): Leading with empathy and boundaries. Delivering facts while honoring your value.
“Ownership is quiet and undeniably powerful.”
Real Leadership Isn’t Loud
I’ve learned this the hard way. When you’re the first to scream, the first to point fingers, it might feel powerful—but it’s weak. The real power is in ownership. It’s in taking control of your emotional responses, not letting fear or frustration drive your decisions.
You want to succeed long-term in this business? Build routines. Practice discipline. Stop reacting. Start responding.
Quick Reflection Questions
When things go sideways, do I respond with discipline or desperation?
What routines do I need to strengthen so I can lead from a place of calm?
How often do I blame others instead of reflecting on my own process?
Do I recognize when I’m emotionally reacting versus logically responding?
Which response mechanism—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn—do I default to under pressure?
5 Notable Quotes
“Fighting out of frustration is short term. Fighting with discipline builds long-term success.”
“Blame is easy. Ownership is powerful.”
“Motivation has nothing to do with execution—it’s about non-negotiables.”
“Strategic flight isn’t weakness. It’s knowing what and who not to work with.”
“Freeze isn’t always fear. Sometimes it’s power in the pause.”
Final Thought:
You can’t control every curveball in this business. But you can control how you show up to it. Build the foundation—discipline, routine, awareness—and let that guide your response, not emotion. That’s how you win long-term.
Let’s keep doing the work.
Follow A.Z. Araujo on Social Media:
For Real Estate Agents in AZ:
Learn more about Do The Work Coaching and A.Z. & Associates:
Upcoming Events:
If you're a real estate brokerage owner, sign up for one of our upcoming events. Visit:
New Do The Work Gear:
Check out the latest DTW and Do The Work Gear! Hats, shirts, journals, and more: