In Episode 240 of The Business Development Podcast, we welcome back former FBI Special Agent and behavioral expert Dr. Jack Schafer for an eye-opening conversation on the power of influence, trust-building, and the subtle science of deception detection. Drawing from his groundbreaking work in counterintelligence and his bestselling books The Like Switch and The Truth Detector, Dr. Schafer unpacks the psychological techniques used to build rapport, uncover hidden truths, and ethically guide conversations in both business and life. Whether you're negotiating deals, leading teams, or building relationships, the insights shared here are nothing short of transformative.
Kelly and Dr. Schafer explore real-world examples of elicitation—how subtle cues and well-placed questions can unlock critical information without confrontation. From reading non-verbal cues to crafting empathetic statements, you'll learn how to master the unspoken side of communication and gain an edge in high-stakes interactions. This episode is packed with practical takeaways that can immediately elevate your ability to connect, persuade, and lead with confidence.
Key Takeaways:
1. People have a powerful psychological need to correct others, making “presumptive statements” a highly effective elicitation tool.
2. Friendship signals—like eyebrow flashes, head tilts, and genuine smiles—are subtle but vital cues for building trust and rapport.
3. The principle of “If I make you feel good about you, you’ll like me” underpins nearly every successful relationship-building strategy.
4. Elicitation works best when it’s undetectable; most people won’t even realize they’ve revealed valuable information.
5. Empathic statements keep the focus on the other person and can deepen trust faster than direct questioning ever could.
6. Bracketing (giving a high and low estimate) invites correction and is a powerful way to learn sensitive information like salaries or margins.
7. Direct flattery can raise defenses, but indirect praise through intermediaries or subtle validation builds influence.
8. Effective listening means silencing your internal dialogue and responding to what’s actually said, not what you plan to say next.
9. Most people are already using elicitation techniques unknowingly—naming them allows you to master and defend against them.
10. Practicing one technique at a time builds confidence and competence; start with presumptive and build from there.
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