logo
episode-header-image
Apr 2025
36m 47s

Why School Refusal May Not Be What It Se...

Emily Kircher-Morris
About this episode

School refusal and distress are the subject of the day, as Emily Kircher-Morris welcomes child psychologist and former school psychologist, Dr. Emily King. They discuss the importance of understanding the underlying causes of anxiety, the need for neurodiversity-affirming approaches, and the balance between structure and flexibility in educational settings. The also discuss the importance of grace, connection, and individualized strategies when helping children navigate their emotional experiences.

TAKEAWAYS

  • School refusal is often a response to anxiety, not an active choice.

  • Understanding the difference between school refusal and school distress is crucial.

  • Patterns of anxiety can vary based on environmental factors.

  • Children may need different levels of support depending on their emotional state.

  • Co-regulation is essential for helping children manage anxiety.

  • Predictability in routines can help reduce anxiety for neurodivergent children.

  • Flexibility within structure is important in educational settings.

  • Parents should focus on what is necessary in their routines to reduce stress.

  • Exit plans can empower children and reduce feelings of being trapped.

  • Every child's experience is unique, and strategies should be individualized.

Register here for a free one-hour continuing education webinar entitled The Cost of Camouflage: Exploring Masking and Burnout in Neurodivergent Clients. It’s a free service of the Neurodiversity University!

Dr. Emily King is a child psychologist and former school psychologist with over 20 years of experience working with neurodivergent children and teens. She began her career specializing in school-based mental health in K-12 public schools in Houston, Texas, before transitioning to private practice in North Carolina, where she now supports the mental health needs of neurodivergent youth, their families, and educators.

Dr. Emily is the creator of The Neurodiverse Classroom, a professional development curriculum for educators, and hosts Learn with Dr. Emily on Substack, where she shares blogs, live workshops, and insights on neurodiversity and education. Her upcoming book, The Neurodivergent Learner, will be available for presale in early 2026. Her expertise has been featured on MSNBC’s Morning JoeThe New York TimesThe Washington Post, and Parents.com.

BACKGROUND READING

Facebook, Instagram, Threads, LinkedIn

Up next
Oct 9
Building Henry's Classroom: An Advocacy Master Class
Emily Kircher-Morris talks with writer Amy Mackin, author of Henry’s Classroom: A Special Education in American Motherhood, about her experiences navigating the special education system for her son, Henry. They discuss the challenges of accessing appropriate resources, the impact ... Show More
34m 17s
Oct 2
Adult-Diagnosed ADHD: Grieving What Might Have Been
Emily Kircher-Morris welcomes Dr. Jennifer Dall, a grief-informed neurodivergence specialist and the founder of ADHD Holistically. Jennifer was diagnosed with ADHD in her 50s, and is now an educator, administrator, coach, and grief specialist. They talk about grieving over what m ... Show More
33m 50s
Sep 25
Parenting Through the Chaos and Finding Peace (reprise)
aising kids and teens who struggle with emotional regulation can be tough. Parents must navigate the complexities of societal pressures, and it can lower self-esteem and cause self-doubt. Today we talk about some essential strategies to establish a warm, connected relationship wi ... Show More
34m 29s
Recommended Episodes
Jan 2025
How to Practice Empathy
Do you struggle to truly connect with others and feel misunderstood in your relationships? Empathy might be the missing link. In this episode, Brendon Burchard dives deep into the art of practicing empathy—a skill that not only strengthens your relationships but also transforms h ... Show More
16m 5s
Jul 2
The Secret Language of Empathy & How To Use It
Empathy isn’t just a feeling—it’s a skillset, and in this episode, we break down its secret language. From how to stop jumping to advice-giving to what true emotional presence really looks like, we explore the four essential attributes of empathy. If you’ve ever wondered why your ... Show More
50m 48s
Apr 2025
Understanding Emotions in ADHD Behavior
In this episode, Ash and Dusty explore the significant role emotions play in unwanted behaviors associated with ADHD. They illustrate this through a coaching case study focused on a client's struggle with managing emails, revealing how underlying feelings of guilt and shame influ ... Show More
32m 46s
Apr 2022
Ep 15: Can Empathy Be Bad? How to Make Sure Your Empathy Is Helpful, Not Harmful
Empathy is a powerful quality—and a key part of emotional intelligence. But it can prove dangerous when taken too far. When does empathy turn from helpful to harmful? How do you make sure your empathy is emotionally intelligent empathy? Today’s episode answers those important que ... Show More
5m 6s
Jun 2022
Dr. Kristen Donnelly: The Truth Behind Empathy As A Tool For Healing From Burnout
Dr. Kristen Donnelly, one of The Good Doctors of Abbey Research, is an international empathy educator. She has two decades of experience and an educational background in social work. Dr. Donnelly uses her PhD in social sciences to help people all over the world learn about empath ... Show More
49m 46s
Oct 2024
Navigating Burnout: Strategies for Emotional Well-Being with Dr. Jessi Gold
Send us a textIn this conversation, Dr. Jessi Gold, Author of "How do you Feel?" discusses her book on mental health and burnout, particularly in the healthcare sector. She shares her personal experiences and insights on the subtlety of burnout, the cultural perceptions surroundi ... Show More
50m 58s
Oct 2024
Brainless Education: A Conversation About the Brain Science Too Often Ignored in Most Schools
Welcome to The Self-Driven Child podcast! In this episode, I chat with Dr. William Stixrud, co-author of The Self-Driven Child, to explore the concept of “brainless education” and why the way we approach learning in schools often overlooks the very organ meant to do the learning: ... Show More
47m 25s
Oct 2023
Empathy and the Nervous System
Last week, Trauma Rewired explored the neurology of narcissism, so this week we’re focusing on empathy. Matt Bush, co-lead educator of the Neuro Somatic Intelligence Training, is back on the show to help us dive deeper into why some people are highly empathic and how they can pro ... Show More
40m 9s
Sep 2024
185. The Tale of the Other Glove: 3 Ways Kids Learn Empathy
Empathy allows us to connect with others and deepen our relationships. Whether we realize it or not, the children in our lives are always watching and learning from us. Join us in this summer mini-episode of Spiritually Hungry as we discuss the most powerful ways to teach and mod ... Show More
21m 18s
Feb 2024
S7 Ep 2 Best Friend Therapy: Emotional Detachment - When should we take a step back? What stops us? Can it make for healthier relationships?
Welcome to this week's episode of Best Friend Therapy - the one where we ask the tough questions... * What's the difference between emotional detachment and emotional unavailability? * Why can needs get confused with neediness? * How do sympathy and empathy serve different purpos ... Show More
43m 54s