Shownotes
The story behind the quasi-cheating incident that ended the relationship
Why Ryan and Layla’s first kiss went horribly wrong
How to take full responsibility for your actions and impact on others
Why Ryan showed up at the Stanford campus in a full-on chicken costume
How radical love is different than self-sacrificing
What Ryan and Layla learned from opening their relationship
Bio
Ryan Cheney is a therapist, seeker, and guide devoted to the process of inner transformation. Based in Austin, TX, he works with individuals and couples to uncover what stands in the way of lasting change – and how to meet those blocks with presence, compassion, and courage. His work is deeply rooted in Internal Family Systems and a profound curiosity about how people evolve.
Before turning his focus inward, Ryan was the founder of Raaka Chocolate, a Brooklyn-based bean-to-bar company built on transparency and ethical sourcing. But his truest calling lies in the inner landscapes: the quiet, tender spaces where real healing happens. His path has been shaped by deep inquiry, spiritual practice, and a love for the moments when people reconnect with the truth of who they are.
Ryan believes transformation doesn’t have to be a battle – it can be a remembering. He’s most alive when exploring the alchemy of change, the courage it requires, and the unexpected grace that can come when we stop striving and start listening.
Timestamps
00:01:16 - Guest introduction
00:06:02 - Ryan shares how he and Layla met
00:07:35 - Going from small and scared to big and free
00:07:59 - Where Layla was at in her life when she met Ryan
00:11:48 - Where Ryan was at in his life when he met Layla
00:12:31 - Sign up for Layla’s newsletter at LaylaMartin.com
00:13:11 - Friendship turns into strong attraction
00:13:47 - Ryan describes he and Layla’s first kiss
00:16:20 - Why the sex didn’t initially work for Ryan
00:19:33 - Ryan learned to hold all parts of Layla
00:21:11 - Layla’s first experience with somatic therapy
00:23:00 - Layla credits Ryan for being deeply present for her healing journey
00:24:33 - Unlock your deepest passion inside The Tantric Mastermind for Couples
00:26:00 - Layla’s desire to find the real Tantra
00:27:19 - Ryan and Layla gave each other spiritual names
00:34:05 - Layla and Ryan discuss their experience with sexual healing
00:39:01 - Why we have to take full responsibility for our actions and impact on others
00:41:48 - How to be present with intensity and pain
00:41:57 - Discover MOOD™ Sex Magic
00:42:55 - Ryan and Layla drink MOOD SEX MAGIC
00:45:57 - The feedback Layla gave Ryan as their relationship ended
00:48:17 - Layla healed and opened her sexuality before healing and opening her heart
00:51:15 - Ryan shares what he learned from the end of the relationship
00:54:55 - Layla shares one of her favorite stories about Ryan
00:56:08 - How radical love is different than self-sacrificing
01:02:18 - Discover your most masculine confidence and presence with Men’s Sexual Mastery
01:03:59 - Layla and Ryan share their experience with an open relationship
01:09:10 - Ryan shares what signaled the end for him
01:17:38 - What Layla learned from the end of the relationship
01:19:20 - What Ryan learned from the relationship
01:21:08 - One of the saddest parts of trauma
01:24:32 - Ryan’s favorite parts of Layla from their relationship
01:27:41 - Conclusion