logo
episode-header-image
Jan 2025
28m 25s

439: Holiday Special: End Ruminating Tho...

MICHELLE CHALFANT
About this episode

“I’m such a horrible person.”

“I can’t believe I did that…I’m so stupid.”

“I’m not good enough.”

Do these types of thoughts sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone.

As humans, we can be so mean to ourselves. We make a mistake and beat ourselves up for hours. We look in the mirror and are met with a barrage of negative self-talk. Sometimes these thoughts come at us relentlessly, like a flood.

But these thoughts are not the truth about who we are. They come from an inner part or voice inside of us that is actually trying to keep us safe. 

And when we have the tools to work with these parts of self, we can stop these critical and ruminating thoughts in their tracks – and transform so many of the struggles that come with them, like depression, low self-worth and overwhelm.

In this episode, I’m sharing the story of a friend who came to me for help with critical thoughts that she couldn’t shake. I walk you step-by-step through the parts work method I used with her and the process she went through that stopped those thoughts almost instantly. 

Then, I explain why parts work is so powerful, how it works in our unconscious mind and exactly how you can use it to work with your own critical parts – or any other part of yourself for that matter! 

Listen to discover:

  • How to stop ruminating and negative self-talk in its tracks
  • The process I used with a friend to help her quiet her critical, ruminating thoughts
  • My own experience using parts work to transform a ruminating thought I was having
  • How to use parts work to transform any part of yourself
  • A step-by-step parts work process you can use anytime, anywhere

The amazing thing about parts work is that you don’t have to spend years working with a part or even be in a coaching or therapy session to do this work. My friend’s transformation happened during a casual conversation we had after work. And as I share in this episode, I use parts work when I’m out for a walk or in the middle of the day. This is an empowering tool we ALL need in our toolbox! 

At the heart of parts work is giving ourselves what we needed but didn’t get when we were young. As a healthy adult, you now get to be that strong, caring adult for your younger self – and when you do, you will be amazed at the deep inner healing that takes place.

 

“I started doing parts work when I was 30 years old, and I changed my life.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“Not everybody’s visual, so please don’t think there’s something wrong if you [don’t visualize a part].” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“I always thank these parts because they are doing such a good job at keeping me safe.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“This is what I love about the unconscious mind…they pull things out of left field.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“When you are hearing these voices in your head, the ruminating thoughts, the beating up on self…start asking yourself this question: ‘Who is saying that?’” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“I really think you are going to be amazed at the different parts of yourself that you will start to discover.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

“This is how we really experience more of who we are, and this is the journey we are on in order to rediscover and live from our true self.” - Michelle Chalfant

 

Resources from this Episode

michellechalfant.com/52weeks for the 52 Week Journal

 

MORE ADULT CHAIR

 

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com   

 

Membership: The Academy of Awakening

theacademyofawakening.com $1 for a month promo code - NEWYEAR1

 

Instagram 

https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant 

 

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ 

 

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ 

 

YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

 

Up next
Yesterday
479: The Power of Energetic Cord Cutting
Today, I’m diving into the powerful practice of cord cutting - a simple but transformative way to release old ties and reclaim your own energy. We create energetic cords with everyone we interact with, from loved ones to strangers. These connections can weigh us down with resentm ... Show More
16m 45s
Oct 2
478: I Swallowed a Screwdriver
Yes, you read that right. In this episode, I share a very real and very unexpected story about what happened when I accidentally swallowed a dental tool, and how I used the Adult Chair model to navigate nine days of fear, anxiety, and uncertainty. What could have been a terrifyin ... Show More
36m 23s
Sep 25
477: The Power of Reflexology with Suzanne Chilton
In this episode, I sit down with Suzanne Chilton to dive deep into the world of reflexology. Suzanne shares her personal journey from a career in the arts to discovering the healing benefits of reflexology while caring for her husband through invasive cancer treatments. We discus ... Show More
45m 52s
Recommended Episodes
Apr 2024
Everyday Gaslighting: The Impact on Anxiety and Strategies for Inner Peace
Maybe you’ve heard the term “gaslighting” thrown around, but what does it actually mean?In this episode of Take Out Therapy, we’re diving deep to help you understand gaslighting—what it really is, how to spot it, and what you can do to take back your power. It’s time to ditch the ... Show More
21m 24s
Oct 2024
481: Healing Codependency In Relationships
Codependency can feel difficult to navigate whether it's you or your partner displaying codependent behaviors. Listen to today's show for valuable tips and insights into dealing with the difficult emotions codependency can cause and start learning how to heal today! In this episo ... Show More
42m 51s
Jun 2025
Break Free from Trauma Bonding | Take Back Your Power
Break Free from Trauma Bonding | Take Back Your Power Trauma bonding can keep us stuck in relationships that drain our self-worth, confidence, and happiness. The cycle of hope, hurt, and confusion makes it incredibly difficult to walk away—even when we know it’s not healthy. If y ... Show More
33m 35s
Jan 2025
316. How to Heal Yourself Emotionally: Mastering Self-Regulation for a Happier Life
You’ve talked about your past and likely know a lot of the reasons why you’ve got issues (I say with love). The problem is that even though you might know the why (or think you do), you don’t feel better. You continue to repeat unhealthy relationship cycles and you’re still not m ... Show More
59m 42s
Oct 2024
#424 How To Reparent Yourself, with Dr. Dan Siegel
Ever feel like the love, support, or security you needed growing up was just… missing? And now, you’re feeling the effects in your relationships, your self-esteem, or even your ability to create the life you *really* want? If this hits home, don’t worry—you’re not stuck! This wee ... Show More
49m 38s
May 2025
The REAL Reason Progress Isn't Making You Feel Better w Annalie Howling
🚨 Trigger Warning: This episode includes a discussion of self-harm. Please take care while listening. You’re doing everything right — checking the boxes, reaching your goals, and growing on paper. But deep down, something still feels off. Why doesn’t the progress stick? Why does ... Show More
53m 3s
Jun 2025
Grown-Up Goals: The 5 Pillars Of Being A Healthy Adult with Michelle Chalfant | 317
Let’s talk about adulting—actual adulting. Not just paying bills or keeping a houseplant alive, but the kind that involves emotional maturity, healthy boundaries, and conscious self-leadership. Because let’s be honest, most of us weren’t taught how to be fully functioning adults… ... Show More
35m 24s
May 2024
What is a "situationship"?
Opening up about a past "situationship" was incredibly difficult (or should I say embarrassing), but I really wanted to share with you all how that experience illuminated my insecure attachment patterns and codependent behaviors that I was completely unaware of.What is a situatio ... Show More
1h 2m
Sep 5
How To Stop Ruminating About Old Relationships & Attachments and Let Go With A Therapy Technique
Tired of trying to think your way out of overthinking?Let me show you what actually works—in less than 30 minutes.Get immediate access to a free class now.Why do old loves still haunt us...sometimes decades later?That late-night dorm call, the heartbreak, the chaos… your brain re ... Show More
8m 55s
Jul 13
How to Stop Losing Yourself in Relationships | Haifa Beseisso
If you’ve ever found yourself shrinking to fit into love, questioning if you’re too much, or feeling lost in your relationships — this episode with Haifa Beseisso will hit home. ❤️‍🔥We unpack how real self love isn’t just about bubble baths or affirmations — it’s about choosing ... Show More
31m 20s