logo
episode-header-image
Jun 2023
1h 7m

How to Be a Better Man, Featuring Alex M...

Connell Barrett
About this episode
As a single man, you likely battle fear from time to time—and not just on the dating scene.

Maybe you’re afraid to be emotionally vulnerable with people because you’ve been told it’s a sign of weakness.

Perhaps you get angry—at women, the world, yourself—and you can feel the shackles of toxic masculinity tighten around your wrists.

And you might be confused about how to date and flirt in the #MeToo Era (“Can I still make moves, or is that harassment?”)

Today’s special guest can help you navigate what it means to be a single man in 2023, both on and off the dating landscape.

In this episode of the Dating Transformation Podcast, host and dating coach Connell Barrett welcomes award-winning writer Alex Manley, author of the groundbreaking new book, “The New Masculinity: A Roadmap for a 21st-Century Definition of Manhood.”

A longtime dating editor for AskMen, Manley wrote “The New Masculinity” to give today’s men a blueprint to become more evolved, forward-thinking and progressive.

And take it from Connell: Women LOVE evolved, progressive men.

In this lively conversation, Alex shares a host of tips and insights on the art of being a better man, including…

✔ How to escape toxicity and anger, so you can be masculine as well as kind and open- hearted
✔ Why you WANT to be “friend-zoned” by women (That’s correct! It can be a good thing.)
✔ Three game-changing dating tips you can apply now, for stronger, more genuine connections
✔ Why pretending to be an “alpha male” can hurt your dating prospects
✔ Why you should NOT cold-approach random women (the rules have changed!), and what to do instead.

Listen now, so that Alex Manley can help you go from fearful and confused about your sense ofnself, to awakening a true, fulfilling new masculinity.

Quotes

"Being mysterious and being withholding and not communicating with your partner is not a winning strategy. It might work on people who have certain self-esteem issues, but for a healthy relationship, you need to be open, honest, and communicative.".." -Alex Manley

"It's important to remember that everyone has something to offer and something that makes them unique. You just have to be willing to look for it and appreciate it." - Connell Barrett

"Friendships between men and women can be incredibly valuable and rewarding, and can teach us a lot about ourselves and each other." - Alex Manley

Featured in the episode

Connelll Barrett
Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation
Website: https://datingtransformation.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingtransformation

Alex Manley
Dating Editor, AskMen
http://www.alexmanley.com/https://www.instagram.com/alex_icon/

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT “THE NEW MASCULINITY”:
http://www.ecwpress.com/products/the-new-masculinity

GO TO ASKMEN TO READ DATING ADVICE FROM ALEX MANLEY:
http://www.askmen.com

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT ALEX MANLY:
http://www.AlexManley.com

FOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL, TO LEARN HOW TO ATTRACT YOUR DREAM RELATIONSHIP:
http://www.datingtransformation.com/contact

Chapters
00:14 Introduction
00:24 Unlock Your Authenticity with Man to Woman Communication
15:19 New Book Guides Men in Changing World
19:42 Unlearning Toxic Masculinity: A Wake-Up Call
31:20 Female Friendship: The Key to Understanding Women
24:50 Redefining Attraction: Confidence and Courtesy
26:33 Unlocking Romantic Happiness in Relationships
27:42 Recognizing the Multidimensional Nature of Relationships
28:56 Embracing the Complexity of Self in Dating
40:47 Career Success: The Secret to Dating Confidence
51:05 The Myth of the Mysterious Man in Dating
01:00:00 Unrealistic beauty standards harm your dating life
01:05:00 The Power of Being Yourself, with a Touch of George Costanza
01:17:00 Outro
Up next
Today
Flip the Authenticity Switch: 4 New Ways to Approach Women IRL (No Pickup Tricks Needed)
Do you see women you’d love to talk to in real life but you freeze up? Dating coach and bestselling author Connell Barrett reveals how to flip the “Authenticity Switch” and go from anxiousness to confidently approaching women—without any cheesy pickup lines. Four powerful shifts ... Show More
20m 20s
Oct 7
How Shy Robbie Got 5 Numbers in 3 Hours! Steal This Move for Fearless Approaching
Robbie, 26, is a shy software engineer who had never approached a woman in a bar—until one Friday night when dating coach Connell Barrett taught him the Hero Approach. It’s a bold move you make to start a night that unlocks authentic confidence. Three hours later, Robbie had coll ... Show More
29m 33s
Oct 2
5 Fixes to Make Your Online Dating Profile a Match Magnet Today—New Photos NOT Needed
Struggling to get matches on Hinge, Bumble or Tinder? It’s not your looks, and it’s not the dating apps. It’s your profile. Small but costly mistakes make women swipe left. In this episode of “How to Get a Girlfriend,” dating coach and bestselling author Connell Barrett shares fi ... Show More
29m 25s
Recommended Episodes
Jan 2025
#1 Advice From Men’s Dating Coach: Modern Women Want THIS
🎙️ In this insightful episode, Jamie, a men’s dating coach who specializes in helping men build authentic connections and attract emotionally secure women, joins Adam Lane Smith, the attachment specialist, and Andrey Korikov, CEO and cofounder of Veritas Creative Media, to break ... Show More
1h 12m
Jul 24
#971 - Adam Lane Smith - 13 Semi-Controversial Truths About Masculinity
Adam Lane Smith is a psychotherapist and an author. Are men the problem? In a time when blame is easily assigned, it’s worth asking whether men need to re-examine how they show up in the world, including their values, behavior, & accountability. In doing so, they might uncover su ... Show More
1h 25m
Sep 2024
The New Feminism: Integrating Feminine And Masculine Energies For A Balanced Life With Dené Logan
This episode is brought to you by the following: Green Chef: Go to https://www.greenchef.com/valeriaclass for 50% off your first box + 50 FREE Credits with ClassPass! In this episode, Valeria chats down with Dené Logan to explore the intricate dynamics of relationships, the conce ... Show More
1h 12m
Sep 1
Breaking the Likability Trap: Overcoming Gender Double Standards | E468
Have you ever felt like you just can’t win? If you’re too nice, people don’t take you seriously. If you’re too direct, suddenly you’re “too much.” For so many women, this double bind — rooted in gender double standards — is exhausting. My guest, Dr. Kate Mason, calls this out for ... Show More
54m 8s
May 2022
#13: What Makes a Man Choose You? Feminine Energy Secrets for the Modern Woman
Please take a moment to REVIEW & FOLLOW my podcast! I've got a free gift for you: https://everheartcoaching.com/freegift  Need Coaching? Join iHeartLoveAcademy Private Community here. What makes a man choose you? This isn't about competing with other women, or changing yourself t ... Show More
30m 58s
Sep 3
Command Respect in Your Relationship 3 Do's and Dont's Every Woman Needs to Know
In this episode, I’m diving deep into one of the most important elements of a healthy relationship: respect. Because love, attention, and attraction are beautiful—but if he doesn’t respect you, none of it lasts.I share 3 things you should never do if you want to keep his respect, ... Show More
19m 23s
Apr 2025
Sexual Performance & Dating: What Matters for Men
Are you a modern man struggling to navigate the confusing world of dating, especially with the added challenge of erectile dysfunction? You’re not alone, and the dating game has changed more than you think.In this podcast episode, I sit with Tripp Kramer to dive into the truths m ... Show More
43m 8s
Sep 2024
John Gray - Are Men Still From Mars, Women Still From Venus?
Talking points: relationships, testosterone, estrogen, stress I had John on the show years ago, and it seemed like the right time to ask: has anything changed since publishing his seminal book? Turns out the answer is yes—and no. Dig in with us as we cover John’s take on conflict ... Show More
1h 2m
Jun 2025
Rethinking Masculinity: Strength and Connection w/ Terry and Justin Real
Forrest is joined by renowned therapist Terry Real and his son Justin for a frank exploration of modern masculinity. They talk about why so many men feel like they’re struggling these days, and how the traditional model of masculinity perpetuates this problem. They discuss the ap ... Show More
1h 5m
Jan 2025
A Man's Guide To Being Naturally Attractive
Talking points: mindset, attraction, relationshipsI was surprised at the sheer volume of basic advice there is out there on being a more attractive man. This week, we're going to go a little beyond "hit the gym" and "smoke less". How do you build your attractiveness from the insi ... Show More
21m 26s