logo
episode-header-image
Oct 2023
11m 35s

why you keep falling in limerence with u...

Mollie Adler
About this episode

In this Premium Submarine exclusive, you’ll hear a preview of my response to a voicemail from a listener who is stumped as to why she continues to fall into the repetitive pattern of falling fast for unavailable partners.


Questions answered + topics discussed in this episode:


✧ What is limerence?

✧ How to tell if your feelings for your romantic interest are infatuation or love 

✧ What are the stages of limerence?

✧ How to manage limerent feelings and stop repeating self-sabotaging patterns

✧ Why some people are attracted to more avoidant partners (and why anxious and avoidant people tend to attract one another)

✧ Why do anxiously attached individuals often begin to resent or split on more avoidant partners

✧ How growing up in dysfunctional high-conflict homes can make us more attracted to high-conflict relationships (making safe/kind partners seem “boring”)


Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.


The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Up next
Oct 9
the alchemy of sleep and how your roots decide what you dream
Most people chase their dreams by focusing purely on the mind. They track every symbol and obsess over dream dictionary interpretations. The deeper story, though, sits in the last place we thought to look. Deep in our bodies.Ancient physicians maps out this story through the conc ... Show More
23m 21s
Oct 7
aleister crowley: the man, the myth, the shadow
Aleister Crowley is one of the most mythologized figures in modern history. He’s been called a prophet, a fraud, a genius, a junkie, a saint, and a monster. His face shows up on a Beatles album cover, his words show up in Led Zeppelin’s lyrics, and his fingerprints stretch across ... Show More
1h 59m
Oct 2
ufo disclosure bombshell [part 2]: why masculine thinking is killing disclosure
We’ve been going in circles on this stuff for a long time now. Despite decades of witness testimony, leaked documents, and official acknowledgments, UFO / UAP disclosure remains trapped in the same analytical frameworks that created the secrecy in the first place. This episode ex ... Show More
37m 46s
Recommended Episodes
Jun 2022
42 - Avoidant Attachment: Why They Pull Away ft. Dr Tari Mack
Ever dated an avoidant man or woman? They disappear when conflict starts or a conversation heats up? You feel like you get close to them, but never quite fully there? Maybe you are one yourself and other people feel ‘too needy, too much’, or that being independent and alone is sa ... Show More
41m 3s
Jun 2023
Keep Attracting Narcissists? Here's Why
Are you tired of falling into the same pattern of dating charismatic but toxic partners? The allure of a confident and charming individual can be hard to resist, but it often leads to a rollercoaster ride of power plays and blame games. So, why do some people seem more prone to a ... Show More
40m 16s
Mar 2021
Relationship Expert on WHY You Settle and HOW to Stop | Stephan Speaks on Women of Impact
Why do we stay in bad relationships? If you find yourself in one bad relationship after another, it could be a sign that you’d rather be with anyone than be on your own. Many people become complacent and settle for less than they deserve just because they like the idea of having ... Show More
50 m
Apr 2023
#67: Why Healthy Relationships Can Feel Boring
In today's episode, I'm answering the question of why healthy relationships can feel boring - especially if you're someone who's accustomed to drama and chaos in your love life.  We'll cover:why unhealthy relationships are so addictivethe principle of int ... Show More
14m 23s
Aug 2021
#24: 3 Reasons Why You Lose Yourself in Relationships
Some people say that you can't have everything in this world - Like money, independence AND love? But in this episode, we're debunking that myth. If you're a successful high achiever who feels in control and confident when you're single but totally lose yourse ... Show More
17m 11s
Apr 2021
#7: Turned OFF by "Niceness" and Sabotaging Your Relationships?
Do you feel TURNED OFF (or even disgusted) by healthy, secure partners? Or find yourself pushing away people who treat you well? You might have an Avoidant or Disorganized Attachment Style, but it's possible to change! *Why Do Some Women Easily Attract Extraordinary Relation ... Show More
31m 6s
Aug 2017
#109 - Why You Keep Falling in Love With The Wrong Person
Do you attract the wrong people? Do you keep having toxic relationships? If so, you're not alone. You'd be surprised at how many people come to us for life coaching, breakup recovery, individual therapy, or dating coaching hoping to achieve one goal: Having a healthy relationship ... Show More
33m 54s
May 2022
#8: Q&A: On All Things Love & Relationships
In this week's Q&A episode, we're exploring a mixed bag of love & relationship questions. Topics include how to navigate conflict with a partner who won't engage, how to manage your anxiety when physically apart from your partner, why you might be attracted to unhe ... Show More
25m 2s
Apr 2022
#6: Q&A: On Anxious-Avoidant Relationships
In this episode, I'm answering your questions around how to navigate relationships with avoidant partners. We're covering topics like how to effectively communicate with an avoidant partner, whether an avoidant partner will ever realise they're avoidant,  whether a ... Show More
17m 21s