episode-header-image

Apr 2023

14m 23s

#67: Why Healthy Relationships Can Feel ...

About this episode

In today's episode, I'm answering the question of why healthy relationships can feel boring - especially if you're someone who's accustomed to drama and chaos in your love life.

We'll cover:

why unhealthy relationships are so addictive
the principle of intermittent reinforcement
how to navigate discomfort around stable relationships
how to get your needs for novelty & excitement met in a healthy way without sabotaging your relationship

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here

Join the 28-day Secure Self Challenge! Starts 10 Feb 2025

Additional Resources

Join Healing Anxious Attachment
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
Visit my website

Up next

#196: How & Why We Self-Abandon in Relationships

If you deeply fear abandonment, there’s a good chance you’ve also been abandoning yourself in quiet, subtle, and painful ways.In today’s episode, we’re exploring how fear of abandonment often leads to patterns of self-abandonment — especially for those with anxious attachment. We ... Show More

#195: Two Simple Principles for a Healthy Nervous System

In today’s episode, I’m sharing two key principles for building a truly resilient, balanced nervous system — and why one without the other tends to keep us stuck.We’ll explore:Why nervous system health isn’t about being relaxed all the timeThe importance of deliberate stress expo ... Show More

#194: When You Don’t Feel Like a Priority in Your Relationship

If you often feel like you're fighting for a place in your partner’s life—like you’re always waiting to be chosen or noticed—this episode is for you.This is one of the most common experiences for people with anxious attachment: that persistent, painful feeling of being sidelined. ... Show More

Recommended Episodes

#61: Stop Getting Attached Too Quickly In Relationships

Do you get attached too quickly in relationships or become intimate before you're ready? Or even worse, have you ever ended up in a hazy three-year relationship with the first person who gave you attention, or even *shudders* someone you don't even like? If this sounds ... Show More

408: Why We Stay In Toxic Relationships

Are you in a relationship that does not feel good to you? Perhaps you're currently in a toxic relationship or you've been in one before? It can feel like you're stuck while you're in it or you may feel you're repeating the same pattern with unhealthy relationships. Listen to toda ... Show More

#72 - Is it Normal For Healthy Love to Feel Boring?

Have you ever felt bored in your relationship and worried that something is wrong? Maybe you’ve wondered “is this normal, shouldn’t things feel more exciting than this?” I’ve been there, and this has been a trigger I have struggled with myself, so I wanted to explore it more. In ... Show More

Relationship to RelationSH*T ft. Jessica Baum

Are things ever going TOO well so your brain forces you to mess it up?Trust me, you’re not alone! As part of our human nature, we yearn for genuine love and affection. We tend to gravitate toward relationships that will reinforce our need for affection and validate our feelings. ... Show More

#7: Turned OFF by "Niceness" and Sabotaging Your Relationships?

Do you feel TURNED OFF (or even disgusted) by healthy, secure partners? Or find yourself pushing away people who treat you well? You might have an Avoidant or Disorganized Attachment Style, but it's possible to change! *Why Do Some Women Easily Attract Extraordinary Relation ... Show More

#24: 3 Reasons Why You Lose Yourself in Relationships

Some people say that you can't have everything in this world - Like money, independence AND love? But in this episode, we're debunking that myth. If you're a successful high achiever who feels in control and confident when you're single but totally lose yourse ... Show More

Why Do I Love the Way That I Love: The 4 Attachment Styles Explained

Why do you love the way that you love? How do you have the best relationships of your life (including the one with yourself)?Today, Mel sits down with expert in attachment theory Thais Gibson to explain the framework to improve any relationship in your life.Her work on the subcon ... Show More

#92: Sketchy "Gurus"- Exposing The Dangers Of The Dating Relationship Advice Industry

Do you go on the internet to look for dating and relationship advice? Ever wondered how to weed out the good from the bad ones? Hey, besties! Today's topic isn't a very fun one but I thought I'd talk about it because it's been happening for quite some time no ... Show More

049: Self-love, femininity, & healthy dynamics in relationships with Kelley Bode

We’re having a little chat about self-love, femininity and polarity in this week’s episode and how all these things can impact our relationships, both with our partners and ourselves. My past relationships weren’t always the healthiest (and have even bordered on toxic) so I’m tak ... Show More

Listen to millions of songs and podcasts on Anghami