Today we welcome Michael Slepian to the podcast. Michael is the Sanford C. Bernstein & Co. Associate Professor of Leadership and Ethics at Columbia University. A recipient of the Rising Star Award from the Association for Psychological Science, he is the leading expert on the psychology of secrets. He’s authored more than fifty articles on secrecy, truth, and deception. Michael’s research has been covered by The New York Times, The Atlantic, NPR, BBC, The Wall Street Journal and more. He is the author of The Secret Life of Secrets.
In this episode, I talk to Michael Slepian about the psychology of secrets. Everyone has secrets that they keep from others—how does this affect our relationships and well-being? According to Michael, maintaining privacy is not the most burdensome aspect. Carrying a secret all by ourselves is what weighs us down. Michael and I explore the different categories of secrets and we talk about when to reveal the deepest parts of ourselves and who to reveal them to. We also touch on the topics of personality, morality, trauma, developmental psychology and communication.
Website: michaelslepian.com
Twitter: @michaelslepian
Topics
02:04 Michael’s family secret
05:38 Defining secrecy
11:12 Correlation of personality with secret keeping
13:01 Revealing secrets
18:56 Categories of secrets
24:31 Healthy communication with children
29:50 Morality of secret keeping
34:20 Jamie Kunz and Dale Coventry's secret
36:27 Journaling and emotional support
40:25 Three dimensions of secrets
44:09 How to deflect direct questions
46:05 Sharing secrets anonymously
47:46 Secret joys
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