logo
episode-header-image
Apr 2023
1h 3m

#346 - How to Deal with a Defensive Part...

DR. LISA MARIE BOBBY
About this episode

There are few things more frustrating than trying to figure out how to deal with a defensive partner. You just want them to understand how you feel and what you need, but they’re too busy defending themselves to truly listen. 

Unfortunately, defensive reactions can make it difficult to have constructive conversations. Without good communication, the systems for resolving problems in relationships begin to break down — and that’s when your relationship gets in serious trouble.

The good news: There are so many actionable strategies that work to create positive change in this dynamic. With new skills and a different perspective, you can overcome defensiveness and restore healthy communication. That's what you'll learn in today's episode!

I hope you’ll join me. 

With love, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

growingself.com

P.S. — For more advice on helping each other feel seen, heard, and understood, check out our “Communication that Connects” collection of articles and podcasts.

 

Up next
Yesterday
Healing Relationships Across Divides (with Dr. Bill Doherty) | E477
What do you do when someone you love sees the world so differently from you that every conversation feels tense? When your values and beliefs clash so deeply that you start wondering if you can stay close at all? If you’ve ever found yourself in that tension, between wanting to s ... Show More
51m 56s
Oct 6
What Does It Take to Be an Entrepreneur? Feat. Melissa Bernstein | E476
Have you ever fantasized about quitting your job, starting your own business, and finally doing something that feels 100% yours? It sounds amazing… until you remember that entrepreneurism also comes with risk, uncertainty, and about a million ways things can go sideways. So what ... Show More
55m 17s
Oct 2
How to Communicate With an Angry Partner | LHS Classic E243
This episode first aired on April 26, 2021 (Episode 243), and I’m bringing it back because so many listeners told me it felt like I was speaking directly to their experience. Living with a partner who always seems angry is confusing, painful, and can leave you feeling constantly ... Show More
36m 41s
Recommended Episodes
Aug 2023
420: What Mentally Strong Couples DON'T Do
Models for how to behave and what not to do in a relationship can be a valuable tool for growth. Listen to today's show to understand what strong couples don't do in order to create a healthy, happy relationship. In this episode with Amy Morin we discuss relationship advice topic ... Show More
44m 43s
Mar 2024
How To Improve Communication In Your Relationships
In this episode, we're exploring the four key patterns that can shake up any relationship. From communication hiccups to dealing with criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, we're uncovering it all!Join me as we break down John Gottman's insights from "The Four Hors ... Show More
19m 31s
Nov 2023
430: Radiate Positivity To Improve Your Relationships
It's easy to feel overwhelmed by the abundance of self help information available these days. Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves and our relationships is something that's simple and easy to remember and implement. Look no further than today's episode for simple, act ... Show More
45m 49s
Dec 2023
Why No Contact Doesn't Work
Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!Ever thought the old 'no contact' rule was a surefire way to win back a separated spouse? Be prepared for a reality check as we shine a light on the flaws of this manipulative tactic. We dissect the key role that secure attachment and h ... Show More
13m 16s
Apr 2023
4 Ways To Improve Your Relationships
Welcome back to The Mindset Mentor Podcast. Today I’m sharing with the world what seems to be holding most of the people I talk to that are in bad relationships… from having good relationships. It may be no surprise to you that the main thing that causes people to struggle in the ... Show More
18m 17s
Sep 2022
90. Why Couples Fight
When couples are fighting, they say things like: I would like to feel more connected to my partner I want to feel understood by my partner I’m unheard and getting resentful I’m tired of fighting about silly stuff I’m walking on eggshells to avoid the next heated fight We struggle ... Show More
20m 39s
Feb 2023
#48: 5 Questions to Assess the Emotional Health of Your Relationship
In today's episode, we're talking all about emotional health & safety in relationships. If you've ever wondered what "emotional safety" actually means, look no further - we'll be discussing some guiding principles and questions you can ask to assess how emotio ... Show More
18m 18s
Mar 2023
How to Communicate When Your Relationship is Unbalanced | Tom & Lisa Bilyeu
Relationships can be so beautiful and amazing. Two people from totally different lives come together and fall under a spell with each other, and life never felt better.As you get deeper into the relationship, you learn more about each other and now have to find ways to communicat ... Show More
29m 37s
Jul 2023
414: Understanding Your Evolving Relationship
Relationships change over time and require us to evolve in order to keep them healthy. Listen to today's show for tips for how to keep the spark in your relationship as it grows and evolves. In this episode with Dr. Michael Mongno we discuss relationship advice topics that includ ... Show More
36m 14s
Aug 2023
418: Navigating Codependency And Relationship Agreements
Do you have feelings of anxiousness around your partnership? Maybe you feel you need your partner to complete you and feel whole? You might be showing some signs of codependency, but that's Ok! Listen to today's show to learn more about codependency, creating relationship agreeme ... Show More
45m 50s