logo
episode-header-image
Sep 2024
33m 42s

Defensiveness vs Gaslighting - What’s th...

Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman
About this episode

It’s important for all of us to admit that we have defensive mechanisms and that we do get defensive with our partners at times. Let’s allow ourselves some grace here. Many of you would probably relate to getting even more defensive about getting defensive! It is common to go on the offensive through deflection or blame, which can leave another feeling that their experience is being invalidated.

However that does not mean that someone is being gaslighted. Gaslighting is a much more serious pattern when it is happening, and is a strong accusation to make that can quickly escalate a conversation or conflict. In this episode you will hear the clear distinction between defensiveness and gaslighting so that you can use the terms properly and reduce escalation. By the end of the episode you will hear 6 different actions to take to reduce both defensiveness and gaslighting in your relations. Both of these lead to erosion of connection, love, and emotional closeness. 

 

Relationship Resources:

Join one of the 30 Day Couples Challenges starting Oct 1st, 2024 - select either one with this link: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/challenges. Or see the individual details below: 

Level 1 details: “Prioritizing Us” is focused on strengthening your connection, communication, and fun “Love Deposit” ideas. LINKED HERE

Level 2 details : “Rebuilding Us” is focused on repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage. LINKED HERE

Up next
Jul 8
Stop Tip-Toeing Around Each Other’s Triggers (How to Create Real Emotional Safety in Marriage): Episode 404
You don’t just marry your partner’s strengths—you marry their triggers too. If you’ve found yourself walking on eggshells to avoid setting them off… or shutting down because you feel like you’re too much… you’re not alone. But let’s be clear: tip-toeing isn’t emotional maturity—i ... Show More
29m 20s
Jul 1
What Marriage Challenges Are 'Normal' and What’s Not Okay: Episode 403
Just because something is common in marriage doesn’t mean it’s healthy. We’ve heard countless couples ask: “Is this just a hard season… or is something actually wrong?” “Are we still okay, even though this feels hard?” In this episode, we unpack those questions using anonymous su ... Show More
48m 23s
Jun 26
Your Brain’s Default Settings Could Be Sabotaging Your Marriage (How Neuroscience Reveals Your Blocks) with John Assaraf: Episode 402
Why is it so hard to change the way we show up in marriage, even when we know what we want to do differently? In this special episode, we sit down with John Assaraf, a renowned global leader in success and performance coaching, decades-long behavioral neuroscience researcher, and ... Show More
49m 57s
Recommended Episodes
Apr 2024
Everyday Gaslighting: The Impact on Anxiety and Strategies for Inner Peace
Maybe you’ve heard the term “gaslighting” thrown around, but what does it actually mean?In this episode of Take Out Therapy, we’re diving deep to help you understand gaslighting—what it really is, how to spot it, and what you can do to take back your power. It’s time to ditch the ... Show More
21m 24s
Oct 2024
Dismissive Avoidant Vs. Fearful Avoidant - Key Similarities, Differences & Their Relationship Needs!
Get personalized courses, live webinars & Q&As, and more for free for 7 days! https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=7-day-trial&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=yt-10-21-24&el=podcast Become a certified relationship coach to sec ... Show More
20m 26s
Nov 2024
How to Respond to Gaslighting
Ever been in an argument where someone twists your words, denies things that happened, or makes you doubt your own reality?Gaslighting can be one of the most frustrating and confusing behaviors to deal with. It leaves you questioning your memory, feeling blamed, and wondering if ... Show More
15m 6s
Dec 2024
The Relationship History of the Dismissive Avoidant...
Take advantage of our Boxing Week Sale! Get personalized courses, live webinars & Q&As, and more for FREE for 7 days! https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=boxing-week-7-day-trial&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=mg-12-10-24&el= ... Show More
19m 56s
Jul 7
Dr. Orna Gurlanik: Struggling to Communicate With Your Partner? THIS One Habit Could Slowly Be Destroying Your Relationship! (Here’s How to Catch It Before It’s Too Late!)
Do you ever feel like you're having the same fight over and over again? Why is it so hard to be in a relationship with someone who is different from you? Today, Jay sits down with Dr. Orna Guralnik — the world-renowned clinical psychologist, psychoanalyst, and lead therapist on t ... Show More
1h 42m
Apr 8
If You Always Feel Like the ‘Bad Guy’—You Might Be Getting Gaslit | Nedra Tawwab (Fan Fav)
Fan Favorite: This episode originally aired on June 11, 2022. What up, homies! It's your girl Lisa Bilyeu, and welcome back to the Women of Impact podcast, where we're all about empowering women to recognize their worth and set those necessary boundaries. Today, my special guest ... Show More
1h 18m
Aug 2024
257: Don't Let Your Anxiety Sabotage Your Relationships (What To Do Instead!)
There are many ways anxiety can show up in our relationships. When we like someone and worry about them losing interest. When we're waiting for a text back. When we overthink in a relationship.  In this episode, Matt and Audrey talk about the fears that activate anxious behavior ... Show More
42m 27s
Mar 2025
Normal Behaviors That Hurt Your Relationship
Send us a textYou value your independence, need plenty of space, and rarely rely on others—it’s just how you’re wired. But what if your ‘normal’ way of handling relationships is actually pushing love away and leaving you feeling lonelier than ever? Avoidant attachment might be pr ... Show More
15m 56s
Dec 2024
THESE Are the Top Avoidant Triggers That Make Them Run Away
Take advantage of our Boxing Week Sale! Get personalized courses, live webinars & Q&As, and more for FREE for 7 days! https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=boxing-week-7-day-trial&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=mg-12-23-24&el= ... Show More
1h 12m