logo
episode-header-image
Dec 2022
51m 13s

3 Things You Need to Accept About Other ...

Mel Robbins
About this episode

Today you and I are digging into three things you must accept about other people. 

 

It took me years to understand these truths.

 

It sounds horrible, but I always wondered, “What’s wrong with people? Why don’t they change?”

 

I know you can relate. Because today I’m taking your questions about trying to change other people. 

 

You’re frustrated by the fact that your spouse or partner won’t exercise more. You get angry seeing how much money your daughter wastes going out every weekend. You’re annoyed by how stubborn your parents have become the older they get.

 

Me too.

 

I’ve tried every tactic you can imagine to get other people to change. And recently I realized the true source of my frustration: It’s not them, it’s me.

 

I’m refusing to accept three things.

 

These things are hard to accept, and they’re true.

 

Once you hear them and you apply them to your life, your relationships will be way easier.

 

In addition to the three truths about other people, you’ll learn research that explains why it’s so hard to get other people to change. And like all episodes, this one is packed with tactical advice and takeaways that you can put to use immediately.

 

And, if you’re the one who’s busy making changes but your loved ones are not being supportive, I answer that question from a listener, too.

 

I feel compelled to answer your questions because so many of you are improving your life with the tools you’re learning on this podcast and your family is starting to get annoyed with you. That’s okay. It shows you’re making progress (but it doesn’t make it easy).

 

Hopefully today’s episode will.

 

Xo Mel 

 

Key lessons:

 

3:12: 3 powerful truths you have to accept about people.

4:33: Rule #1 explained

6:02: How do you deal with people who don’t want to change?

9:00: Why some people can’t change.

12:42: I’m embarrassed to tell you this story.

19:49: Rule #2 explained

20:37: Rule #3 explained

21:44: My “6-month rule” for any complainer

32:03: What do when the people around you don’t support the changes you’re making

40:23: The science of “Myside bias” and what it says about human nature

 

For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast


Do you want to create a better morning routine? Join my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge and I’ll coach day by day on setting your day up for success here.

Up next
Today
You Can Change Your Brain: Neuroscientist Explains How to Rewire Your Mind & Stop Negative Thoughts
After listening to this episode, your brain will not be the same. In this episode, you’ll learn how to stop negative thoughts, heal from past trauma, and reset your mind for peace, focus, and resilience. Today, neuroscientist Dr. Caroline Leaf is here to share her evidence-based, ... Show More
1h 13m
Jul 7
Don’t Learn This Too Late: 5 Things Top Heart Surgeon Says You Must Avoid to Live Longer
You’re about to hear what a heart surgeon wishes you knew sooner. If you’ve ever wondered what’s really going on inside your body, or what habits are silently destroying your heart, this episode could be a lifesaver. Dr. Jeremy London is a renowned heart surgeon with 25 years of ... Show More
1h 13m
Jul 3
How to Talk to Difficult People: Proven Strategies to Stop Arguments & Feel Connected Again
This episode is your playbook for having saner, smarter, and more successful conversations, even when you disagree. If every dinner turns into a debate… If you feel like you're having the same argument on repeat… If you're avoiding certain topics, work events, or even your family ... Show More
1h 11m
Recommended Episodes
May 2021
4 Reasons We Try To Change Others And How To Cultivate Tolerance, Patience, Compassion Instead
Have you ever wished you could change someone in your life? Have you tried changing someone to fit your ideals and beliefs? If so, have you succeeded? Did it make you happy? It’s frustrating to try and change someone who isn’t willing to change, especially when your circumstances ... Show More
22m 7s
Dec 2022
Why You Don’t Change (But How You Still Can) [ENCORE]
Anyone who’s ever tried to lose weight, curb their temper, quit smoking, or alter any other habit in their lives knows that personal change is hard. Really hard.Most self-help books out there treat people like machines, blitzing past this difficulty and offering mechanical 5-step ... Show More
47m 26s
Nov 2021
Katy Milkman | How to Change Your Behavior
In today’s episode, we cover how to change with Katy Milkman. Katy is a professor at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, host of Charles Schwab’s popular behavioral economics podcast Choiceology, and the former president of the international Society for Judgment ... Show More
52m 12s
Jul 2023
This is why change DOESN'T happen...
🤷🏻‍♀️ Have you ever wondered why those big changes you desire seem don't seem to happen? That no matter how much you try, you can't get your changes to stick? I mean true, long lasting change. Just think about the things that you really want to shift or change in your life that ... Show More
21m 24s
Jul 2023
7 Signs You’re a People Pleaser & 7 Methods to Break This Habit
Have you ever found yourself constantly trying to please others, putting their needs before your own?  What is it like to be a people pleaser, always seeking validation and acceptance from those around you? If you want to know more about this trait and how to overcome it, then th ... Show More
41m 45s
Nov 2022
Stop being a people-pleaser
Today’s episode is about an issue that so many people struggle with on a daily basis PEOPLE-PLEASING . I will discuss how you can know if you do it ? how it effects your confidence and holds you back, and most importantly ….what you can do about it ? The good news is that you can ... Show More
21m 28s
May 2024
The Quickie: How To Embrace Change And Tolerate Uncertainty
Change is one of the only constants in life, but a lot of people are really adverse to it. TBH, I actually thrive in change and chaos, I’m always seeking newness, so this week I’m sharing how I overcome fear of change to approach it with a growth mindset.Tim Ferris says “People w ... Show More
19m 36s
Dec 2022
How to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones with James Clear (Re-Release) #321
Do you believe habits are ‘good’ or ‘bad’? Are you constantly trying to create better habits and quit those that don’t serve you? Today’s guest has insights that will help get your New Year off to a great start by truly understanding what habits are – and how to optimise them. Ja ... Show More
1h 35m
Jul 2023
Ep. 75 - How We Handle Mean People
As much as we all try to be kind and compassion, sometimes, people are mean to us. It’s a fact of life that once we learn to accept it, we can cultivate tools to manage it. This week, Barb and Michelle talk about how they handle “mean people”, and simple reminders for when you fe ... Show More
51m 59s