logo
episode-header-image
Oct 2022
1 h

Me, A Love Story: How Being OK With Your...

10% Happier
About this episode

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

It might be hard to find a more annoying cliché than self-love; it can seem empty and inactionable. And even if you could make it work, I think many of us suspect it would lead to complacent resignation or unbridled narcissism. But there is an enormous amount of evidence that self-love, or as the scientists call it, self-compassion, can make you more effective in reaching your goals as well as lead to better relationships with everybody around you. 

On today’s show, the great meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg will walk us through the idea that love— both self-love and other love— is a skill that can be cultivated with massively positive impacts. 

Salzberg is a meditation pioneer, world-renowned teacher, and New York Times bestselling author. She is one of the first to bring mindfulness and lovingkindness meditation to mainstream American culture over 45 years ago, inspiring generations of meditation teachers and wellness influencers. Sharon is co-founder of The Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA, and the author of twelve books, including the New York Times bestseller, Real Happiness, now in its second edition, and her seminal work, Lovingkindness. Her forthcoming release, Real Life: The Journey from Isolation to Openness and Freedom, is set for release in April of 2023 from Flatiron Books. Her podcast, The Metta Hour, has amassed five million downloads and features interviews with thought leaders from the mindfulness movement and beyond. 

This episode comes out in conjunction with Dan Harris’ recent TED Talk on self-love. You can watch the full talk here.

In this episode we talk about:

  • The definition of self-hatred and its predominance in the West
  • The real practical benefits of self-compassion
  • Whether there is a difference between self-compassion and self-love
  • Why many people resist the idea of self-love
  • The distinction between empathy and compassion and how they work together in Buddhism
  • How to have lovingkindness for somebody who doesn't feel we have the right to exist
  • Reclaiming words like love and happiness
  • And how generosity makes us more whole

Full Shownotes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sharon-salzberg-510

Up next
Yesterday
The Science Of Manifestation: Can This Stanford Neuroscientist Convince A Skeptical Dan To Give It A Shot? | Dr. James R. Doty
Six practical steps to harness the full power of your mind. Our guest today is James R. Doty, a neurosurgeon who has just written a whole book about the science of manifestation – although, as you’ll hear him admit, there’s very little ‘magic’ involved in his process. James R. Do ... Show More
1h 16m
Jul 7
Ezra Klein On: Sane News Consumption; The Power of Meditation; The Future of the Species; And the Message of His Tattoo
On maintaining sanity in insane times. Ezra Klein is an opinion columnist and host of the award-winning Ezra Klein Show podcast at The New York Times. His latest book is Abundance, co-authored with Derek Thompson. He is also the author of Why We’re Polarized, an instant New York ... Show More
1h 15m
Jul 6
How Meditation Can Help You Handle Injured Feelings and Injured Muscles | Dawn Mauricio
Plus: How to build a meditation practice you keep coming back to. We’re in the midst of an exciting evolution of the overall 10% Happier project. In our quest to make this podcast more actionable – to help you operationalize all the game-changing ideas you encounter on this pod – ... Show More
24m 38s
Recommended Episodes
Aug 2021
#74: Sublime Qualities of Mind - Sharon Salzberg
Sharon Salzberg is a world-famous meditation teacher and NY Times bestselling author. She's largely responsible for popularizing mindfulness in the West. Sharon co-founded the Insight Meditation Society with Jack Kornfield and Joseph Goldstein and has been leading meditation retr ... Show More
44m 16s
Feb 2019
Encore - Sharon Salzberg - What’s Real Love Anyway?
Sharon Salzberg is a leading meditation teacher and author of 10 books, including her latest book called "Real Love, The Art of Mindful Connection." She explores how meditation helps to cultivate our capacity for real love. When we redefine our current notions of love, she explai ... Show More
26m 8s
Sep 2023
Sharon Salzberg: Treat Your Anger with Lovingkindness
Sharon Salzberg (meditation pioneer, NYT bestselling author) breaks down what successful meditation looks like, how to extend lovingkindness to ourselves in the social media age, and what it really means to have compassion for our enemies while standing firm in our fight for othe ... Show More
1h 50m
Sep 2015
Sharon Salzberg
Sharon-Salzberg the one you feed     This week we talk to Sharon Salzberg about the essential question Sharon Salzberg is one of the worlds best know Buddhist teachers and has been leading meditation retreats worldwide since 1974. She teaches both intensive awareness practice (vi ... Show More
40m 9s
Feb 2023
Making Real Change: Healing Ourselves and The World. With Sharon Salzberg
Today’s guest is Sharon Salzberg, one of the most prominent voices in the field of meditation, co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society, and author of 11 books including the NY Times Best Seller Real Happiness. Our conversation is about her newest book, Real change, Mindfulne ... Show More
39m 48s
Jan 2022
The Truth About Self-Love - Shadé Zahrai
You’d be surprised how many people believe that self-love is the authority to be selfish. But what if you decided to define it differently instead? In this short episode, self-mastery expert Shadé Zahrai shares a better definition of self-love and her version is the antidote to i ... Show More
8m 26s
Dec 2023
Making self-compassion less cringy & the science behind mindfulness with Dr Shauna Shapiro
Today I am joined by Dr Shauna Shapiro - best-selling author, clinical psychologist and internationally recognized expert in mindfulness and self-compassion. There was no better topic to end our interviews this year other than mindfulness, intention setting and self compassion. M ... Show More
35m 25s
Apr 2024
Tia Mowry: You’re Unhappy and You Don’t Know it - Learn to Leave the Comfort of Being Unhappy
In a world where everyone keeps telling us who we should be, finding the courage to love ourselves authentically can be a breakthrough. Today, I had the great opportunity to speak with Tia Mowry, an actress, producer, author, and television personality, best known for her role on ... Show More
1h 13m
Jan 2024
3030: When You Have a Voice Telling You You’re Inadequate by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits on Self-Compassion
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com.Episode 3030: Leo Babauta of ZenHabits.net delves into the challenging issue of feeling inadequate, an inner voice that can negative ... Show More
10m 22s
May 2024
"Liebe ist eine Fähigkeit und wir alle können sie lernen"
Was ist Liebe? Nicht nur ein Gefühl. Davon ist die Paartherapeutin Sharon Brehm überzeugt. Sie sieht die Liebe pragmatisch, als Fähigkeit und Handlung, die sich meistern lässt. "In der Liebe geht es nicht um Labels und Diagnosen – sondern um die Geschichten, die wir uns immer wie ... Show More
1h 8m