Ep 61. This is the episode we didn’t know we needed– EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT A PARENT! I took so much value from this convo with Dr. Siggie Cohen because although she is a renowned parenting expert… what she’s really teaching us today is how to be a compassionate, boundaried human that knows how to meet another human (big or little) exactly where they are.
Parenting is one of the most challenging tasks we can take on; partially because raising a tiny creature with really big emotions takes a LOT of patience and energy, but also because of the way our reactions to those big emotions tell us about how we’re parenting our own inner child.
Dr. Siggie is a child and family therapist with over 35 years of experience. As a parenting expert who works with toddlers through teens, Dr. Siggie covers how best to connect with your kids in a way that benefits both you and them. By putting our egos aside and consistently asking “what’s underneath the surface of the conflict in front of me?,” we can experience healthier interactions with not only our children, but within all other relationships in our lives.
“Your goal is not to make your child's life easy, it's to show them they can do hard things.” Dr. Siggie believes that you don’t always want your child to be happy— in fact, they MUST learn to not only recognize but sit with other emotions as well (like frustration, jealousy, boredom and disappointment) in order to function through life’s challenges. By teaching our kids to be mindful and accepting of the full spectrum of difficulty and joy, we actually protect them from dismissing, denying, or being overtaken by any one of these complex feelings.
Likewise, when we’re feeling unhappy ourselves (perhaps we’ve “failed” at an important project or made a major mistake), Dr. Siggie talks us through how to both practice and model productive, solution-oriented self-reflection, using every bump in the road as a learning opportunity for ourselves and the little ones that look up to us.
Whether you have kids, are thinking about having kids, or simply want to reparent yourself, these tips should help you foster healthier relationships with yourself, your kids, and others in your life. Let’s get juicy!
Connect with Dr. Siggie Cohen:
Follow @parenting.with.dr.siggie on TikTok
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Recommended Reading:
The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga