It can be a hard pill to swallow, but you can’t also become the person you want to be if you’re stuck in the past. There’s no fairytale or storybook ending if you don’t fix what’s within, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone!

Today we welcome sex and relationships therapist, Todd Baratz! Todd has devoted his entire life to wellness as he actively works against all formalities, traditions and diagnosis. Together Violet and Todd discuss the importance of intimacy negotiation in a relationship, identifying self sabotaging behaviors, and how to fill emotional voids. The two also deep dive into the myth of being “relationship ready”. The truth is, there’s no such thing. Relational love leads to self love. Besties, sometimes the real breakup you need is with your old patterns and behaviors.

Contact Todd and find his online courses here: https://www.toddsbaratz.com/

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What to Listen For:

00:00 Introduction
01:02 What it means to start therapy at 10 years old
05:03 “I literally just said your partner has fantasies…”
08:07 Couple issues tend to come from personal trauma
10:17 Our relationships are emotional
14:02 Everybody deals with relationships at different pace
15:35 Self-sabotaging
18:45 Why are we drawn to emotionally unavailable people
22:23 How can you tell if someone is emotionally unavailable?
23:25 When should you walk away?
25:23 Lies that we hear about relationships
27:11 It’s normal to sit with your feelings
30:03 How do you deal with uncertainty?
32:29 The pressure to succeed with relationships
35:39 Where’s the line between feeling and thinking?
37:56 Stop blaming people about your feelings
46:41 Feeling the victim all the time
39:38 Why does language matter so much?
43:47 Self discovery happens, it’s not a rush
46:39 Being the victim constantly
50:01 Can you still be in a relationship while still working on yourself
52:27 Good habits to make yourself feel better

Connect with Todd on:

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@violetbenson on Instagram
@daddyissues_ on Instagram
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There’s No Fairytale Ending w/ Todd Bara...