logo
episode-header-image
Nov 2021
58m 9s

The Right Kind of Suffering | Paul Bloom

10% Happier
About this episode

Is there a good kind of suffering? Paul Bloom says, yes -- there is a kind of suffering that you choose. This voluntary suffering can reduce anxiety and make your life more meaningful. This episode explores that idea, along with: why we are hardwired to worry about bad things (and why that's ok); the difference between chosen and unchosen suffering; post-traumatic growth and why it's not always true that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger; benign masochism and the blurring of pleasure and pain; and cognitive empathy vs. emotional empathy.

Dr. Paul Bloom is a Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto and the Brooks and Suzanne Ragen Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Yale University. He is the author of six books, the most recent of which is called, The Sweet Spot: The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search for Meaning.

Subscribe by December 1 to get 40% off a Ten Percent Happier subscription! Click here for your discount.

Up next
Today
When Life Falls Apart: How To Break Old Patterns, Rewrite Your Inner Scripts, and Find Purpose | Dr. Suzan Song
Why "how am I feeling?" isn't always the right question, why resilience doesn't mean what you think it means, and how rituals can steady you. Dr. Suzan Song is a Harvard- and Stanford-trained psychiatrist, humanitarian researcher, and adviser. For more than two decades, she has d ... Show More
1 h
Oct 30
When the News Feels Like Too Much, Try This | Sharon Salzberg
Buddhist advice on taking care of yourself so you can take care of the world, including what to do with your outrage, and why looking for the good on purpose isn't denial. The news is painful right now. And for most of us, the options we reach for — doom-scrolling, rage-posting, ... Show More
38m 33s
Oct 28
How To Stop Fixing Yourself | Ayya Santacitta
Buddhist advice on the feeling of "I'm not enough," the voice that says "if I don't do it, no one will," and tolerating uncertainty without impatience. Santacitta Bhikkhuni trained as a nun in England & Asia, primarily in the lineage of Ajahn Chah and has also received teachings ... Show More
1h 4m
Recommended Episodes
Nov 2021
Paul Bloom || The Pleasures of Suffering
In this episode, I talk to renowned developmental psychologist Paul Bloom about the pleasures of suffering. We start by discussing the value of suffering in pursuit of meaning and make the distinction between unforeseen tragedy and chosen suffering. Paul also elaborates on BDSM a ... Show More
1h 7m
Nov 2021
Why Pain & Suffering Are Necessary For A Good Life - Paul Bloom - #402
Paul Bloom is Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Yale University and an author. People do strange things to feel pleasure. Eating spicy food, having rough sex, watching scary movies. On top of that, they make huge sacrifices ... Show More
1h 17m
Mar 2022
HURT SO GOOD: The Pleasures of Suffering (Paul Bloom & Susan Cain)
Some people think humans are natural pleasure seekers. But not psychologist Paul Bloom. In his new book, “The Sweet Spot,” Paul says we’re pain seekers, too. Just think about all the uncomfortable things we do for fun — eating spicy food, climbing treacherous mountains, watching ... Show More
59m 30s
Feb 2022
Why we choose to suffer, with Paul Bloom, PhD
Why do people like to watch scary movies or listen to sad songs? We do we run marathons and raise children, even though both of those pursuits come with struggle and pain? Dr. Paul Bloom discusses why suffering is linked to meaning in life, the connection between pleasure and pai ... Show More
21m 7s
Aug 2025
Encore -- Why we choose to suffer, with Paul Bloom, PhD
Why do people like to watch scary movies or listen to sad songs? Why do we run marathons and raise children, even though both of those pursuits come with struggle and pain? Paul Bloom, PhD, discusses why suffering is linked to meaning in life, the connection between pleasure and ... Show More
23m 18s
Dec 2021
The good life is painful
Sean Illing talks with psychologist Paul Bloom about his new book The Sweet Spot, and whether it's necessary to experience suffering in order to live a fulfilling, meaningful life. They discuss the rich philosophical history of the question: what does it mean to be happy? They al ... Show More
53m 20s
Nov 2021
The Sweet Spot: why pain can be a pleasure
We go to movies that make us cry, scream or gag we poke at sores, eat spicy foods and run marathons. Some of us even seek out discomfort and humiliation for sexual gratification. Most of these activities are painful yet many of us find pleasure within them and Professor Paul Bloo ... Show More
52 m
Jun 2025
Ouch! That Feels Great
<p>We generally think of pain as something to be avoided. But psychologist <a href="https://www.psych.utoronto.ca/people/directories/all-faculty/paul-bloom">Paul Bloom</a> says that as much as we're wired to avoid suffering, we also seek it out. This week, we begin a two-part min ... Show More
51m 15s
Feb 2024
#470 Pain Is Inevitable, But Suffering Is Optional
<p>Pain is <strong>inevitable</strong> because it's a natural part of being human. We experience challenges, losses, and setbacks, leading to unavoidable emotional and sometimes physical pain.</p> <p><strong>Suffering</strong>, however, is not just the pain itself. It's the <stro ... Show More
14m 42s